Ok, Fresh Start?

[ocdsufferer85]

Here is what I've learnt so far 

OCD lies...but it's very hard not to doubt these lies and question if it's true or what OCD is telling you is real. 

If you fight it you're bound to lose, if you don't fight it and you follow it's rules then you're still under its grip...therefor losing.

OCD needs to be ignored and not delved in to and ruminating just makes it stronger (my biggest downfall)

If like me you feel like you faced it head on....then it tricks you... I shouldn't feel guilty for trying to be 'normal'

If OCD makes me feel like running away from a situation or acting like I should be obsessively careful...am I correct in saying it's best to NOT do these things and just remain in them?

This is what has caused me a mess...something that others say 'good for you!' 'why should you be controlled by OCD?!' 

But for me it's left me in Doubt, Shame, Fear and Questioning it all so much, a few moments of my life where I found myself amidst it all....(thoughts)  and my reactions have been gone over and over and over until it's one big monster.

I don't know what's real and what isn't, I've gone over it so much. I blame myself all the time...but everyone says...why blame yourself for an illness?

I doubt if it's OCD, I question that I must be a bad person, I believe every 'what if' that it creates, and I blame myself whatever I do....It puts me on the spot and if I relax this happens! But if I panic...it's controlling me.

It keeps replaying something I'm not sure is either true or as 'big' of an event than it says.

I literally thought I was winning and it took it from me straight away.

[Gemma7]

I really think what you need is carefully thought through and structured CBT but I'll try an answer some of your questions. 

6 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

If OCD makes me feel like running away from a situation or acting like I should be obsessively careful...am I correct in saying it's best to NOT do these things and just remain in them?

Yes, you should stay in situations that you would avoid because of OCD. However, it's not as simple as just grinning and bearing it. You shouldn't be doing any compulsions whatsoever, including thinking about it afterwards. The only way to reduce OCD generated emotions is to see your problem more clearly, usually with the help of a therapist in the form of a formulation (vicious flower) and then to act as if all your problems are because of OCD. The common pitfall in therapy is to face a situation and then afterwards do compulsions, usually that means your emotions stay high and you don't learn that nothing happened afterwards. 

 

10 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

This is what has caused me a mess...something that others say 'good for you!' 'why should you be controlled by OCD?!' 

But for me it's left me in Doubt, Shame, Fear and Questioning it all so much, a few moments of my life where I found myself amidst it all....(thoughts)  and my reactions have been gone over and over and over until it's one big monster.

This is an example of what I'm saying above. You face things and that is amazing but by doing compulsions afterwards, you don't allow yourself the opportunity to see that there is and was nothing to fear. Your compulsions are not necessary. 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Can i ask you why you are making new threads when it is about the same topic? I don't get it.

 

Also, this is also the wrong way, it doesn't matter how advanced your reasoning is, it won't open up a door for you. Where you can go through and you suddenly have released yourself from OCD. 

Edited July 26, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[PolarBear]

You are completely wrong, for the second time in 24 hours on the same topic.

You ssid uou lose no matter if you fight it or not. That is completely false. That is a belief you have but it has nothing behind it.

You win by not engaging with the OCD. Not freaking out, not doing compulsions.

[felix4]

9 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

If you fight it you're bound to lose, if you don't fight it and you follow it's rules then you're still under its grip...therefor losing. 

Hi,

To win, you need to fight it!

The only time I have felt in the predicament that you mention was when I had two themes, or so to speak, that were conflicting with each other when it came to ERP. I used to describe it as a double bind, because ERP for one theme would play right into the hands of another theme, as if following its rules as you put it.

How many themes do you have OS85?

Edited July 26, 2018 by felix4

[ocdsufferer85]

5 minutes ago, felix4 said:

Hi,

To win, you need to fight it!

The only time I have felt in the predicament that you mention was when I had two themes, or so to speak, that were conflicting with each other when it came to ERP. I used to describe it as a double bind, because ERP for one theme would play right into the hands of another theme, as if following its rules as you put it.

How many themes do you have OS85?

Oh lots but this is the only theme that sticks, it's by far the worst so the others don't matter.... If that makes sense.

Definitely for me it was logical meeting illogical... And of course.. Illogical took over...I tried to fight and it came in to ruin my confidence. 

[ocdsufferer85]

9 hours ago, Gemma7 said:

I really think what you need is carefully thought through and structured CBT but I'll try an answer some of your questions. 

Yes, you should stay in situations that you would avoid because of OCD. However, it's not as simple as just grinning and bearing it. You shouldn't be doing any compulsions whatsoever, including thinking about it afterwards. The only way to reduce OCD generated emotions is to see your problem more clearly, usually with the help of a therapist in the form of a formulation (vicious flower) and then to act as if all your problems are because of OCD. The common pitfall in therapy is to face a situation and then afterwards do compulsions, usually that means your emotions stay high and you don't learn that nothing happened afterwards. 

 

This is an example of what I'm saying above. You face things and that is amazing but by doing compulsions afterwards, you don't allow yourself the opportunity to see that there is and was nothing to fear. Your compulsions are not necessary. 

I have done the vicious flower, I have had tons of cbt and I'm in cbt now, I've been doing well...but I have these bad spells. 

The ocd makes me question everything though and it causes doubt as to if my 'actions' are wrong. When others say no it's nothing...I feel guilt 

[ocdsufferer85]

8 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Can i ask you why you are making new threads when it is about the same topic? I don't get it.

 

Also, this is also the wrong way, it doesn't matter how advanced your reasoning is, it won't open up a door for you. Where you can go through and you suddenly have released yourself from OCD. 

I made a new thread to try and show my logical thinking 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

37 minutes ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

I made a new thread to try and show my logical thinking 

 There is no logic in what you are writing, it is just you letting your OCD talk you down. You write out what your OCD is telling you. I don't know why you are trying to find any logic in it. OCD is not about reasoning your way out of it, it will tell you it is but it is a scam

 

I don't understand what you are trying to say here: "When others say no it's nothing...I feel guilt "

Edited July 26, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[taurean]

7 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

I have done the vicious flower, I have had tons of cbt and I'm in cbt now, I've been doing well...but I have these bad spells. 

The ocd makes me question everything though and it causes doubt as to if my 'actions' are wrong. When others say no it's nothing...I feel guilt 

Don't be disheartened by this, it's what it does to try and keep you hooked, and respond by carrying out compulsions - question everything, did I do wrong etc.

You must resist this. When you feel this happening, stop . Then gently, but firmly, switch your focus away. Read my piece on the use of distraction to break this powerful stranglehold of the OCD. 

I woke this morning, and a powerful upsetting OCD thought occurred and I felt my body react strongly emotionally - my muscles cramp, my mouth go dry. 

Instead of connecting with this, analysing, what ifs etc, I have noted what happened and shifted focus - relaxing, playing soft music, chilling out ; and that powerful physical emotional response is easing

We must learn to stick with what we have learned, believe it, and even those powerful emotional reactions will pass as we refocus away from the obsessional thinking. 

 

[ocdsufferer85]

38 minutes ago, taurean said:

Don't be disheartened by this, it's what it does to try and keep you hooked, and respond by carrying out compulsions - question everything, did I do wrong etc.

You must resist this. When you feel this happening, stop . Then gently, but firmly, switch your focus away. Read my piece on the use of distraction to break this powerful stranglehold of the OCD. 

I woke this morning, and a powerful upsetting OCD thought occurred and I felt my body react strongly emotionally - my muscles cramp, my mouth go dry. 

Instead of connecting with this, analysing, what ifs etc, I have noted what happened and shifted focus - relaxing, playing soft music, chilling out ; and that powerful physical emotional response is easing

We must learn to stick with what we have learned, believe it, and even those powerful emotional reactions will pass as we refocus away from the obsessional thinking. 

 

Thanks yeah I have spells where I do not engage and I see how it's much more relaxed and improved, I just always have times where it comes so full force that I feel like it's all piling on top of me

[taurean]

3 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said:

, I just always have times where it comes so full force that I feel like it's all piling on top of me 

And that's exactly when you need to stay strong, not believe,or connect, with it, and refocus away. 

Just think "there's that silly obsession again"  and gently, but firmly, refocus away. 

When an intrusion is ignored it will gradually lose power and occur less frequently.