Why do I do stupid things that trigger my OCD

[ineedahug]

I can't figure out why I do things I really don't want to do-- things I know better than to do.  Today I cut a banana that was in a plastic container.  The knife did touch the bottom and caused a little scratch.  I debated throwing out the food since there could be a plastic shaving, but I didn't want to react prematurely, so I put it away in the fridge.  I decided later that I should just toss it since saving $2 wasn't worth the risk of ingesting plastic.  I took it out, and thought "well I can at least eat the food on the opposite side."  So I did.  Then I realized-- after putting it away and taking it out I have no idea which side was which.  I could have eaten the side where there might be a plastic shaving.  

It is possible a bit of plastic came off right? Like if you create a scratch it with a knife, and it shows a little indentation, it seems reasonable to assume some plastic either came off-- it didn't just disappear.

I realize this all sounds like OCD-- with all the hypotheticals-- but eating plastic can be dangerous, and it is possible there was a very small plastic shaving.  It would have been so small that it probably would be dissolved by my stomach and ingested.

So now I'm thinking I sabotaged my health-- all because of doing two stupid things right on top of each other-- cutting fruit while on a plastic container, and then eating the fruit.

I realize most people probably would not worry about a tiny piece of plastic that they may have ingested, but I don't believe a normal person would have been stupid enough to cut off a part of a banana while it was in a plastic container.  I wasn't thinking.   

How can I behave like a normal person when I'm already doing things a normal person wouldn't do? How do I do stupid things when I know better than to do them? 

[neurosies]

Wow, you're being really hard on yourself over nothing. I've definitely done that before because I'm too lazy to pull out a cutting board and not thought twice about it. Neither of us are stupid for that. Normal people absolutely would do stuff like cut a banana in a plastic container without even considering the ramifications. Same with eating the banana- seriously, you didn't do anything wrong. And your health is going to be fine, I doubt you ate any plastic and even if you did, an amount that small won't hurt you! 

[bobfish]

I can definitely relate to this.

With my contamination OCD, I would (and still sometimes do) get really annoyed with myself whenever I made a contamination 'mistake' (as illustrated by most of the threads I've started...). I often doubt that I'm like other people and my OCD sometimes manages to convince me that I'm a terrible person for being so careless.

But it's just our OCD again lying to us. After hanging out with a bunch of my friends over time, I realised that other people were a lot less careful and 'perfect' than I thought!

In your case, although I don't know if I've been in exactly the same position, I'm sure I've been careless and accidentally ingested a bit of plastic on many occasions.

Stop being so hard on yourself - if anything, this event was good as an example of exposure. You didn't do anything wrong, and there's no need to beat yourself up about it.

Edited July 28, 2018 by bobfish

[PolarBear]

You don't know what your problem is. Cutting the banana on plastic was not a problem. Eating the food was not a problem. 

Paying attention to the thoughts about a little bit of plastic is the problem. That is the only thing you did wrong.