Please help im so distressed! Feeling horrific after a rare night out.

[Saz]

Please someone help me to calm down. 

Had a rare night out last night, all good fun, lots of drinks. Had family down from Scotland. Went to a pub and then my friends house. I was singing and dancing in the living room after the pub (we all were) but for some reason right at the end of the night I started crying, I then went into panic mode saying that i know im going to be anxious in the morning. I was getting all worked up, its like i was pre empting how i was going to feel today. I got myself into a bit of a state. Im absolutely mortified. However just to make matters worse my cousins husband said to me he had to pull my friends husband up because he was flirting with me!! I was oblivious to this as i thought we were all just dancing having a good time. There was nothing like that on my part. As you can imagine im in bits, trying to remember everything, wondering why I started crying and conjuring up all kinds of terrible images and scenarios. 

I don't need a lecture on drinking or avoiding alcohol. Its very rare i let my hair down. I think lack of sleep played a huge part.  However i can feel now that im going to stop going out, it was already going that way and this is just the final nail in the coffin. Im lay in bed thinking I've done something terrible with my friends husband. I feel so sick. Please help. 

[cookiemonster]

Your cousin didn’t say you were flirting.

even people that don’t have ocd end up crying after drinking a bit you just happened to be crying because you were worrying about how you were going to feel the morning after. 

Be proud that you have been out and socialised. Don’t let this stop you going out again. 

People without ocd go out dance on tables fall over and flash their knickers and they out again it’s quite normal. Alcohol does these things. Nothing to be ashamed of.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

I don't think that you should aviod alcohol. I think you started a similiar thread a while ago. To me it seems like there is a pattern. Alcohol is not the problem, your reactions to all of this is.

So now do you feel anxious about what happened last night, the thing is, how could we know more than you do?

What do you think you should do about all of this? What are you motive when you post it here?

Edited July 29, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[Saz]

1 hour ago, cookiemonster said:

Your cousin didn’t say you were flirting.

even people that don’t have ocd end up crying after drinking a bit you just happened to be crying because you were worrying about how you were going to feel the morning after. 

Be proud that you have been out and socialised. Don’t let this stop you going out again. 

People without ocd go out dance on tables fall over and flash their knickers and they out again it’s quite normal. Alcohol does these things. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Thanks cookie monster. 

I spoke to my partner this morning and he was just laughing but i am mortified. He keeps telling me to stop worrying. He can't remember half the night but he doesn't get worked up like me. I spoke to my cousin and her husband and they said ive nothing to worry about but i am worried because now I think about it i think maybe he was being a biy flirty with me but i just thought nothing of it...now i feel very guilty. This is torture. 

18 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

I don't think that you should aviod alcohol. I think you started a similiar thread a while ago. To me it seems like there is a pattern. Alcohol is not the problem, your reactions to all of this is.

So now do you feel anxious about what happened last night, the thing is, how could we know more than you do?

What do you think you should do about all of this? What are you motive when you post it here?

Thank you ocdhavenobrain i would agree its my reactions. 

I just feel horrible though and don't know if i have genuine reason to feel like this. Why did i get upset in the first place. I think im creating images in my head and they feel stuck. 

Edited July 29, 2018 by Saz

[PolarBear]

Saz, this is OCD. You must be very careful.

You got intrusive thoughts that you did domething wrong. That distressed you. In response you did compulsions, notably ruminating and seeking reassurance from your partner and cousin.

Stop trying to remember more. That's a surefire way for this to get stuck in your head. Leave it alone.

This is, actually, a variation of false memory OCD, which you have been suffering from for years. In both instances the core belief is that you did something bad.

[Wonderer]

If anything saz this should be confirmation that ur false memory is nothing but OCD too,, ur reacting to getting emotional after having alcohol and it’s all anxiety fuelled. Even when I wasn’t suffering from OCD I’d get anxious the next day after a heavy night they don’t call it “beer fear” for nothing. I choose now not to drink, not so much an avoidance but to manage my symptoms, I may drink again one day but for now I don’t miss it, just because I don’t think it’s worth the risk atm. Be good to yourself today, get cosy on the sofa and watch a movie, forget about it, don’t react to it, you’re distressing yourself for no reason.xx

[Caramoole]

8 hours ago, Saz said:

As you can imagine im in bits, trying to remember everything, wondering why I started crying and conjuring up all kinds of terrible images and scenarios. 

So, what's your plan of attack for dealing with this differently?  You know from the years on the forum and your recent therapy that trying to manage it by way of using compulsions isn't the answer.  You've already stumbled and are blindly using compulsions to reduce the anxiety, what should you/are you going to try to handle this differently and minimise this episode?  This is all part of the learning journey, learning to apply different ways of handling things.  These blips and challenges will crop up but if you keep working at recognising what's going on (despite the fear) and changing how you react and respond, you will compound your ability to get over them ever more quickly.  In other words you will hone your skill.  The opposite is also true, resort to old methods and you'll come tumbling down like a row of domino's.  There's not a quick fix to this Saz, you're a work in progress and now is one of those times where you have to focus, use your knowledge and cut out using compulsions, if you do you'll move past this within a couple of days.  Come on, concentrate, have faith and use what you've learned......don't react to what you feel.

[Saz]

4 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Saz, this is OCD. You must be very careful.

You got intrusive thoughts that you did domething wrong. That distressed you. In response you did compulsions, notably ruminating and seeking reassurance from your partner and cousin.

Stop trying to remember more. That's a surefire way for this to get stuck in your head. Leave it alone.

This is, actually, a variation of false memory OCD, which you have been suffering from for years. In both instances the core belief is that you did something bad.

Thanks PolarBear but the images are taking hold and feeling quite real. Trying hard not to give this the time of day but its too strong. I should know what to do here but all I think is how do i know they arent real... Yet again their are things I don't quite remember. Why do I get these vile images. My therapist talked about thought action fusion, not sure if that's what this is. 

Edited July 29, 2018 by Saz

[Saz]

3 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

So, what's your plan of attack for dealing with this differently?  You know from the years on the forum and your recent therapy that trying to manage it by way of using compulsions isn't the answer.  You've already stumbled and are blindly using compulsions to reduce the anxiety, what should you/are you going to try to handle this differently and minimise this episode?  This is all part of the learning journey, learning to apply different ways of handling things.  These blips and challenges will crop up but if you keep working at recognising what's going on (despite the fear) and changing how you react and respond, you will compound your ability to get over them ever more quickly.  In other words you will hone your skill.  The opposite is also true, resort to old methods and you'll come tumbling down like a row of domino's.  There's not a quick fix to this Saz, you're a work in progress and now is one of those times where you have to focus, use your knowledge and cut out using compulsions, if you do you'll move past this within a couple of days.  Come on, concentrate, have faith and use what you've learned......don't react to what you feel.

Thanks caramoole. 

I cant let this take over like the last one, not a chance as it will destroy me. Im so sick of this, unable to enjoy myself on a night out because of my worry and anxiety that follows and the horrible thoughts and images! My therapist actually asked me has my ocd stopped me from doing anything and i said i am always cancelling on my friends or making excuses not to go out. Ine of my homeworks was to go out more, relax etc, spend time with friends and just enjoy the moment. Feel like its completely back fired but I will have to try and treat it as a blip and not react anymore than i have already. 

[Saz]

4 hours ago, Wonderer said:

If anything saz this should be confirmation that ur false memory is nothing but OCD too,, ur reacting to getting emotional after having alcohol and it’s all anxiety fuelled. Even when I wasn’t suffering from OCD I’d get anxious the next day after a heavy night they don’t call it “beer fear” for nothing. I choose now not to drink, not so much an avoidance but to manage my symptoms, I may drink again one day but for now I don’t miss it, just because I don’t think it’s worth the risk atm. Be good to yourself today, get cosy on the sofa and watch a movie, forget about it, don’t react to it, you’re distressing yourself for no reason.xx

Thank you wonderer. Its been a truly awful day. I have taken your advice. Im in my jammies now and going to try and relax a little. This is going to be difficult. 

[Caramoole]

43 minutes ago, Saz said:

I will have to try and treat it as a blip and not react anymore than i have already. 

That's right.  Your brain will keep on trying to pull you back into ruminating.....you have to recognise that and pull yourself back out.  It will keep trying to do that....it's a path well-trodden....you have to establish a new path via a different route.  All that's happening is normal, progress will be made by changing response and reaction.

[Wonderer]

31 minutes ago, Saz said:

Thank you wonderer. Its been a truly awful day. I have taken your advice. Im in my jammies now and going to try and relax a little. This is going to be difficult. 

I’m glad ur nice and comfy, u can do it saz xx

[lostinme]

You can do this Saz listen to all the great advice that you’ve been given x 

[Saz]

34 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

I’m glad ur nice and comfy, u can do it saz xx

 

28 minutes ago, lostinme said:

You can do this Saz listen to all the great advice that you’ve been given x 

Thank you both x

[Saz]

55 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

That's right.  Your brain will keep on trying to pull you back into ruminating.....you have to recognise that and pull yourself back out.  It will keep trying to do that....it's a path well-trodden....you have to establish a new path via a different route.  All that's happening is normal, progress will be made by changing response and reaction.

Having an early night. Will keep you posted tomorrow. Thanks x

[Saz]

Been awake most of the night. I am having a hard time ignoring this new worry. I always feel like im pushing something important away. Feeling rubbish! 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

It can be hard sometimes when you ruminate. I tend to go up every 15 minutes or so if i am not falling asleep. 

Hope you can get some sleep and if you don't maybe you are to tired to ruminate tomorrow, personally i find there to be such a connection.

[Saz]

8 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

It can be hard sometimes when you ruminate. I tend to go up every 15 minutes or so if i am not falling asleep. 

Hope you can get some sleep and if you don't maybe you are to tired to ruminate tomorrow, personally i find there to be such a connection.

Very tired today but about to head into work. I can't stop panicking about why i cried. Did something bad happen? My cousin said maybe thats why i was upset... I don't think it did. Im in work struggling now. Tempted to message people. 

[Emsie]

16 minutes ago, Saz said:

Very tired today but about to head into work. I can't stop panicking about why i cried. Did something bad happen? My cousin said maybe thats why i was upset... I don't think it did. Im in work struggling now. Tempted to message people. 

We’ll done for carrying on with your day. Remember when we are tired we are less resilient to our thoughts and OCD. Don’t let it pull you in. If you message people you will be buying in to your fears and feeding them and it will keep you stuck. Resist the urge and carry on with you day. Let the anxiety subside. You’ve had some great advice, you can do this Saz. Don’t let it pull you in. X

Edited July 30, 2018 by Emsie

[Caramoole]

5 hours ago, Saz said:

Did something bad happen? My cousin said maybe thats why i was upset... I don't think it did.

You're ruminating and trying to work it out.  You're checking with other people.  These are compulsions Saz, you know they won't help so what are you doing to change this?

[Binxy]

Hi Saz,

I hope you don;t mind me sounding like a broken record... I used to do exactly what you are doing.

In the last two weeks I have been out drinking twice. The first with work colleagues and the second with my brother. In both cases I got the urge to check through my memories to make sure that I hadn't done anything wrong/bad. This was especially the case on the night out with work colleagues- I had a lot to drink and there were some things that I was reminded of that I didn't remember very well. I really struggled with that until I realised that I was acting on my compulsions (checking, asking friends)- i.e. doubt, anxiety, compulsions... OCD. I nipped it in the bud.

You know what to do.

Hope you have a more restful night.

Binx

[Saz]

I feel really sick. Im so worried. Got bombarded all day in work with horrible images and scenarios. 

[Saz]

Im sat waiting for my friend to tell me ive done something very wrong. 

[Binxy]

No doubt your friend will reassure you. You will feel better. Then you will want to ask again or ask someone else "to be sure". It's triggering an OCD response Saz- treat it like OCD. You can do this.

[Saz]

21 minutes ago, Binxy said:

No doubt your friend will reassure you. You will feel better. Then you will want to ask again or ask someone else "to be sure". It's triggering an OCD response Saz- treat it like OCD. You can do this.

I dont know binx, my friends are being a bit off with me... I honestly feel really panic stricken. I can't believe this is happening to me again.