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Why is it so hard to be mindful while I wash my hands?


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I've gotten better at not washing my hands for a long time. I try to keep it at about 15-20 seconds.  The only "rule" is that I use soap, and get each part of the hand.  I think most people miss the thumbs and backs of the hands when they wash, and I try not to do that.

It takes just a little bit of concentration to wash up.  If I just rub my hands together without any focus whatsoever, I would most likely miss areas of the hands. 

The problem is that I often lose focus and end up being unsure if I got all the areas I intended to get.  It should be very easy-- but when I'm looking at myself washing my hands, it sometimes does not register in my brain that I've done it.  I'll see myself do it, but then instantly forget in a manner of seconds.

I am sure this has something to do with OCD, but you would think that OCD would cause me to have a laser focus so that I can be sure I wash my hands.  In reality, I feel tense and have difficulty focusing enough for it to register in my brain.  Why is that exactly?

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It is doubt, the core ingredient of OCD, people who have OCD could see something right in front of their eyes but will instantly go back and check for sure for example if the door was locked or the taps were off, it’s the same with u washing ur hands, u see it but within seconds the doubt has crept in and u can’t be sure...you should ignore these unsure feelings and resist washing ur hands again.xx

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9 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

It is doubt, the core ingredient of OCD, people who have OCD could see something right in front of their eyes but will instantly go back and check for sure for example if the door was locked or the taps were off, it’s the same with u washing ur hands, u see it but within seconds the doubt has crept in and u can’t be sure...you should ignore these unsure feelings and resist washing ur hands again.xx

That occured to me.  There have been times where I would 80% sure of something, but I wanted to be more certain.  

But in many cases, it is 50/50.  That, to me, can't be called doubt.  That means having no clue one way or the other.  Again, why wouldn't I be able to pay attention enough to at least have a clue?

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31 minutes ago, ineedahug said:

That occured to me.  There have been times where I would 80% sure of something, but I wanted to be more certain.  

But in many cases, it is 50/50.  That, to me, can't be called doubt.  That means having no clue one way or the other.  Again, why wouldn't I be able to pay attention enough to at least have a clue?

In OCD we search for 100% certainty. It doesn’t make any difference if it’s 20/80 or 50/50 it’s still doubting at a different percentage. So what your post above is saying is you doubt yourself straight away after washing. We can also do things as you say using a laser focus but it’s regardless how much attention we pay on doing these things that are OCD related because within seconds we will still have doubts. That’s why it is also known as the doubting disease. 

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20 minutes ago, lostinme said:

In OCD we search for 100% certainty. It doesn’t make any difference if it’s 20/80 or 50/50 it’s still doubting at a different percentage. So what your post above is saying is you doubt yourself straight away after washing. We can also do things as you say using a laser focus but it’s regardless how much attention we pay on doing these things that are OCD related because within seconds we will still have doubts. That’s why it is also known as the doubting disease. 

100% this! OCD doubt can be 99.9% which is why so many people are convinced they are or would do the things that OCD would have them believe! The amount of doubt is irrelevant, the fact that doubt is present is confirmation of OCD, yes, people can have doubt now and again about things because they just weren’t paying attention to something but seeing as this is an OCD issue, compulsion, ritual...then I’d say that this is absolutely a symptom of the disorder and you should not wash again to satisfy it.xx

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Totally agree with Wonderer, washing your hands again because you doubt you washed them properly would just be a compulsion, so wash and go :yes: and don’t buy into the OCD doubt. 

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32 minutes ago, lostinme said:

Totally agree with Wonderer, washing your hands again because you doubt you washed them properly would just be a compulsion, so wash and go :yes: and don’t buy into the OCD doubt. 

Yes, but as far as I know, that 2nd hand wash might be the first, because I have no way of knowing whether or not I already washed them.  

See, I am talking about situations in which you legitimately do not know one way or the other. 

Just like I forget I washed my hands when in reality I did, there might be times when I really do forget to wash my hands.  Let's say that is the case in this hypothetical scenario-- I forget to wash up, but I don't really know one way or the other.  I try to think back but it does no good.  What then? If I just think "Oh that's my OCD causing me doubt." -- In this scenario, in which I did not wash my hands, I would be wrong in thinking that. 

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

It all boils down to the fact that your OCD doesn't want to let you go. It is up to you to say no. You will never feel contend so you happily can move on. This is a good sign and it it would be strange if you didn't thought like this. 

You could have missed to wash your hands, maybe you forgot and now you will have dirty hands, you need to accept that and stop yourself from washing agian.

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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But that is the same with a lot  if OCD issues, being unsure if we did or we didn’t? That is still doubt. All part of the same disorder. 

You have to learn to accept and live with the uncertainty of never knowing :yes:

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7 hours ago, ineedahug said:

Yes, but as far as I know, that 2nd hand wash might be the first, because I have no way of knowing whether or not I already washed them.  

See, I am talking about situations in which you legitimately do not know one way or the other. 

Just like I forget I washed my hands when in reality I did, there might be times when I really do forget to wash my hands.  Let's say that is the case in this hypothetical scenario-- I forget to wash up, but I don't really know one way or the other.  I try to think back but it does no good.  What then? If I just think "Oh that's my OCD causing me doubt." -- In this scenario, in which I did not wash my hands, I would be wrong in thinking that. 

So what? Then you don't wash your hands. Not the end of the world.

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7 hours ago, PolarBear said:

So what? Then you don't wash your hands. Not the end of the world.

Exactly! It’s a compulsions washing ur hands anyways, it’s great that u have managed to cut down but there really is no need for the amount of worrying around wether they were washed or not x

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