Maintaining Our Gains And Limiting Relapse Potential

[taurean]

This topic means an awful lot to me, and I think it is very important for those who have made progress with CBT and changing their perceptions and responses. 

I think maybe the first good thing to do is watch out for compulsions slinking back in, and ease them away - they serve zero purpose, just strengthen obsessional thinking. 

If a trigger trots along, maybe take the high ground, thinking "Oh that's just my silly obsession"  and refuse to connect with it - rather, gently but firmly, ease it away out of mental focus. 

Keep a structure to the day and the week. This helps to keep us focused in the here and now. 

Keep busy - OCD likes a vacuum, and will move in given half a chance. 

Keep up your ACE programme. This acronym stands for :

Achievement 

Closeness to others 

Enjoyment 

Try and keep a decent score of marks out of ten per day for each category - as I know myself, this is really good at keeping OCD attempted life restrictions and rules at bay. 

Keep stress under control. Don't be ashamed to say no if you are getting overwhelmed. If your workload is too heavy and causing stress, open a dialogue with your boss. Health & safety issues are likely to apply. 

Tackle worry - as with stress, worry helps OCD to cause a flare-up. 

So leave the past be, it's over. Look at all possible solutions to problems in a calm, practical, way. Choose the best, implement it, then dismiss any anxiety about the outcome. 

Plan for, but don't worry about, the future. "The future is the present I worried about yesterday".

Don't try to be a perfectionist. Time spent on this is wasted, as something which is very good will be all that is needed. 

Allow time for relaxation, as well as enjoyment. 

My physiologist and doctor are actively encouraging me to practise meditation skills every day preferably morning and evening. 

Keep exposure work up to date - failure to do this may lead to a relapse. 

Hope this helps 

Roy 

[bendylouise]

sounds really good Roy

[taurean]

It is good bendylouise - it works for me. 

As put forward by my forum friends, using a dose of love kindness meditation is also great.

Here we ditch any bad feelings about ourselves (the result of the OCD)  with self-forgiveness and self-love, and look at things around ourselves in a positive way using good emotions like love kindness joy happiness. I revel in the joy of helping others, as I am seeking to do here, and it boosts my feelings about myself. 

I also find mindfulness helpful. Once we have learned how to enter the mindfulness state, it is a wonderful tool ; we simply "be" without feeling pressures, stigma, obsessing carrying out compulsions worrying or whatever. Tensions leave us, we enter a state of relaxation, and even pain may ease. 

In the "just being"  state of mindfulness we are solely focused in the here and now. 

My wife has been using a simple practice to enter the mindfulness state - Sudoku. 

She takes up a comfortable relaxed position, picks up the puzzle and quickly enters a portal into the mindfulness state. 

I can do this by just taking a walk, taking in only what I see around me then viewing or hearing in a more deep and coloured way. A walk down into our beautiful village becomes a wonderful healing experience using mindfulness. 

 

Edited August 4, 2018 by taurean
amendment

[taurean]

Deploying ACE (achievement, closeness to others, enjoyment)  this week has kept me active, with others, and enjoying life - all things that OCD looks to restrict. 

I have, with my wife, been out to look for, and find, some low height cheap storage furniture for our loft room. And the chest of drawers has needed a little DIY repair. 

I have done lots of work in the garden, whilst she has been "nesting"  in our new home. 

I accompanied her for a medical test at the hospital. She is somewhat medical phobic, and also deaf, so I was able to be a facilitator with the medical staff, and help her keep calm. 

We had a lovely lunch together in our beautiful village pub, built in the early 19th century. I am very good friends with the landlady and her staff and they made a welcome fuss of us. 

I don’t drink much, but do enjoy - maybe twice a week - standing at the bar mid-afternoon with a pint in my hand, chatting with other customers. 

This all is putting that concept of ACE into practice. 

I was taught it when in a poor place OCD-wise and back in therapy with a young  clinical psychologist practising mindfulness -based CBT for OCD. 

This, and the other practices she taught me, are great and proved massively beneficial - I have shared lots of the other things in various other topics and posts. 

Edited August 4, 2018 by taurean

[BigDave]

Hi Taurean, this is a really great post. I think a lot of the stuff that you have said has been mentioned by my therapist on more than one occasion. Maybe I could get your advice on parts of it:

First, you mention structure. How exactly do you structure your day? Is it a very firm structure or is there any room for flexibility. One thing that has always worried me is that some women like spontaneity and by being too structured, I’ll never have that. 

Secondly, do you make long term goals. Like, do you structure lifestyle objectives. If say, you said you wanted to learn a new instrument, would you make a monthly or yearly plan?

would love your insight. 

[taurean]

1 hour ago, BigDave said:

How exactly do you structure your day? Is it a very firm structure or is there any room for flexibility. 

Hi Dave, 

When I was working (an insurance broker serving the requirements of professional firms) I would plan my visits, working around specific areas per day, and allowing for any potential business lunches with clients with whom I wished to cement relations. 

I would plan for one or maybe two days per week working from my home office, and look where possible - as did my team colleagues - to be in the company's office on Friday. We would plan monthly team meetings for then, and maybe a catch-up over a pint - plus pick up any post that had been opened, but needed attention specifically from us, rather than our administration assistants. 

I allowed plenty of time for contingencies and flexibility. In this way I wasn't creating unnecessary stress, which would make me more vulnerable to OCD. 

The team kept electronic diaries, accessible by all - and mobiles and laptops so we could operate as an "office"  anywhere there was a data signal. 

Each of us could - mostly - stand in for the other if available and if need be. 

We also used electronic diaries (accessible by all the team)  reminders, and "to do"  lists, flexible but geared to the order of importance. 

When my workload became too great, affecting my resilience to OCD,  I requested "reasonable adjustments"  under the terms of the UK Equalities Act 2010, since OCD can be considered a disability under that legislation. 

The company doctor agreed my OCD fell within the terms of the Act, my client allocation was reduced, and I spent more time training and on technical expertise and support (which I adored doing). 

1 hour ago, BigDave said:

 

Secondly, do you make long term goals. Like, do you structure lifestyle objectives. If say, you said you wanted to learn a new instrument, would you make a monthly or yearly plan?

I planned for the future, but refused to worry about it. 

For many years I had an Independent Financial Adviser (IFA)  and would as necessary review financial planning. 

My wife and I had a desire to move to the Midlands when we retired. This plan was very flexible as we needed to renovate our London home, and continue to look after my mother-in-law's affairs and interests, meanwhile planning to which town we might ultimately move. 

And our preference was for a fully -renovated bungalow with off-street parking, at the edge of a town with good shops, health club, hospital - preferably with a pub cafe and shop to which I could walk. 

We had a plan. And, believe it or not, with good builders plumbers and carpenters at our London home, a brilliant estate agent and fantastic legal team - plus a large dose of luck and a fair wind - we achieved all of that. 

Probability - not that high. Possibility - yes, by using the right people and having a plan. 

I have the idea to do some voluntary work within the local community, when we are fully settled in and the things we would like to do around the bungalow and its garden are all sorted. The roof needs some attention, the garden some landscaping, fences replacing and whatever. 

 

 

 

Edited August 4, 2018 by taurean
addition

[taurean]

The plan for some voluntary work is a sound plan and will make sure there is a structure in place to keep me beneficially occupied. 

My aunt worked one day a week for 20 years in a cancer charity shop. 

I have served on various councils and committees in the past, part of societies, sports and social and professional bodies to which I belonged. 

I am no "shrinking Violet",  very much the opposite, so if I have the time, and want to do that, I would have plenty to offer. 

To be honest, I am wary as I want to explore our area whilst I can still drive - and we can both still get out - and we love National Trust houses and gardens, theatre, the rivers and canals and have family nearby. 

Plus I want to get in some quality fishing time  

Edited August 4, 2018 by taurean

[taurean]

I am pleased to see from the list of online members and guests that plenty of people have had a read of this thread. 

If just one person picks up a beneficial idea from it, it would be worthwhile, but I am hoping more will find something useful for their own therapeutic journey. 

[lostinme]

44 minutes ago, taurean said:

 If just one person picks up a beneficial idea from it, it would be worthwhile, but I am hoping more will find something useful for their own therapeutic journey. 

I’m sure they will Roy, by sharing what helps us on our journey to recovery may also help another 

[BigDave]

Some great tips and tricks here. I’d love to be that organised. 

Edited August 4, 2018 by BigDave

[BigDave]

1 hour ago, taurean said:

I am pleased to see from the list of online members and guests that plenty of people have had a read of this thread. 

If just one person picks up a beneficial idea from it, it would be worthwhile, but I am hoping more will find something useful for their own therapeutic journey. 

I really appreciate your details. It seems like work wise, you were well planned out and something I can think about implementing better. I think organising free time is important too as I’m seem to be more susceptible to OCD outside of structure. I think I need to figure out what plans can be flexible and what I can stick to. 

By the way, I do know what you mean by the National Trust sites. So many amazing ones

[NGK7]

Hiya,

I love the way you think about the future/present moment and  I strive to be within the present and stop worrying about past/future.

Would you mind elaborating on ACE as find this intriguing?:

'Keep up your ACE programme. This acronym stands for

Achievement 

Closeness to others 

Enjoyment '

 

[taurean]

Sure thing. 

I was in a really poor state when I went back into therapy,with a new therapist, almost four years ago. 

When I had completed thought logs and she had worked through them with me and we started devising a plan to address my OCD, and the four negative thinking distortions which she uncovered, she wanted to get me up and about, going and a-blowing again so got me working on ACE to turn this around. 

I was to try and achieve at least something each day, try to get close to others, and find at least something to enjoy. 

My homework was to keep a daily log under these three headings, scoring myself out of ten. 

The first few days were poor scores, but gradually I was achieving more, being with others more, and my joy of living returned. 

I was then able to drop the log-keeping and ACE became a natural part of my life. It keeps me finding success, seeking out and enjoying others company, and allowing time - in a sometimes busy schedule - for plenty of enjoyment. 

It's a good way to live, and it takes up time that might otherwise be lost to OCD and despair. 

 

Edited August 5, 2018 by taurean

[taurean]

Where am I at now in my own OCD journey? 

Well it has been much more of a challenge as my illness included constantly-repeating intrusions whirring in the mental chatter of my brain, and my search to find methodology to tackle that - which lengthened episodes of OCD - has taken many years, and lots of private CBT therapy over those years with different therapists. 

A combination of things seems to have got that, at least for the moment, under control. 

This showed me that therapists just rolling out standard experiences of CBT to everyone isn't helpful, as I am pretty sure that one size does not fit all - some people, as I have, experience especial problems that need a more open, bespoke approach. 

It's been 12 months now since I had an OCD struggle and then, by applying what I have learned, and with support from forum friends, I was able to speedily overcome that. 

I am taking an SSRI - a low dose of Citalopram. I think it helps in my own case by keeping my mood stable and increasing my resilience, but my medium-term goal is to be able to manage without it by a gradual withdrawal programme, probably starting next year, no hurry. 

In my opinion the way to recover from OCD is through CBT. Other things may help too, but only as additions. 

I have found out such a lot on my journey. 

I know the value of one to one CBT with an experienced in OCD clinical psychologist. 

I know how challenging it can be, in terms of wait and length of therapy, to obtain it in the UK, unless one has private medical insurance that covers it (I did)  or private means (I paid for more therapy when I had exhausted the insurance limit).

This is so much why I seek to share here what I have learned to my own advantage from my own OCD journey - and also that of which I am aware  of my sister, a fellow sufferer.

I have enjoyed writing this topic - I love writing, especially features - and hope that the many of you that I know have read it will each find something within that may help and sustain you. 

Edited August 6, 2018 by taurean