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Where to start....:(


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I literally feel so overwhelmed by my current mind set that i have no idea where to start or even if i know what im trying to say (without it sounding all muddled up and confusing). 

You all know my current worry regarding a night out a last week. I thought I was doing ok, i did struggle but I was strong and actually the last couple of days all has been good. Roll on to this evening when my cousin has messged me asking how i am and saying she is here if I ever need to talk and I'm back to square one wondering what the hell i said/did/came accross like! Ive replied saying I was just and emotional mess and im not depressed (which is true) but that I do get incredibly anxious and worry.. I said their is no need to worry about me really. I think I was saying stupid things like im a **** mum etc etc (which i know is rubbish because I am a good mum) but I am so embarrassed like ive came across so pathetic and weak! I dont know what people must think of me and im worried they are going to tell other family members that I'm all depressed etc! 

Another worry that has resurfaced tonight is that of giving advice to others. I have just given advice to someone on Facebook via private message who messaged me first... It was to do with them taking a photo down as they were anxious as they worried they showed a little too much cleavage... I said that it was a lovely photo and maybe they could put it back up and ride the anxiety out... I told them I too was an anxious person... Anyway im worried now about that advice incase they put it back up and it makes them feel worse then they do harm to themselves andni get the blame! I know how far fetched that sounds but its how my mind works sonetimes. How exhausting :( x 

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

This post is just one big white flag to the OCD.

A position of power. That is where you need to come from. Or OCX will chew you up

 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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4 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

This post is just one big white flag to the OCD.

A position of power. That is where you need to come from. Or OCX will chew you up

 

Yes your right. Ive kind of written this post in a panic and now im lay in bed having time to reflect on it, i can say i really didn't need to post it. I should have taken my own advice that i gave the person on Facebook and rode the anxiety out! 

Thanks for your continued support x

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1 hour ago, Saz said:

Yes your right. Ive kind of written this post in a panic and now im lay in bed having time to reflect on it, i can say i really didn't need to post it. I should have taken my own advice that i gave the person on Facebook and rode the anxiety out! 

Thanks for your continued support x

Wow just look how far you’ve come Saz ? well done you :yes: after having time to reflect on it you can now see that you didn’t need to post it, keep going flower you’ve got this :cheer:x

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8 hours ago, lostinme said:

Wow just look how far you’ve come Saz ? well done you :yes: after having time to reflect on it you can now see that you didn’t need to post it, keep going flower you’ve got this :cheer:x

Thanks lost :) Hope you are doing well too x

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Had a rise in anxiety today. Had the question of how do i know my false memory isnt a real flashback lurking all day. This has been triggered by my friend saying 'oh my god i just had a flashback of me talking about blah blah.. from last night and now im cringing' This is my friend talking about herself and not me but it made me worry as to how we know the difference when a alcohol is involved :( My heart rates going faster just now. Sorry guys x

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16 hours ago, Binxy said:

Ride out the anxiety Saz. It's no different to your previous worries. You don't need to tell the difference. You have to accept the uncertainty. Nip it in the bud.

So hard binx but ill try. 

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You know how I read statement analysis on crime cases (find it interesting) Ive now began to analyse my own wording on here regarding my false memory. Some of the things that are 'red flags' for deception on the blog I read  are the same as some of the ways I have written down/spoke about my memory. I haven't put the person in my false memory first, ive spoke about myself and the worry I have for me and my family...surely I should be more concerned about the person in my memory. This is leading me right down a rabbit hole. 

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Yup- down the hole you go. You might find it interesting, but do you think it's the best thing to be reading at the moment? I know there is a fine line here re: avoidance but it's early days for you yet. 

55 minutes ago, Saz said:

Ive now began to analyse my own wording on here regarding my false memory

You had a trigger.... you did a compulsion.... now you're on the verge of going down the rabbit hole. Nip it in the bud Saz.

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There you go again. Taking input and trying to turn it into evidence. You ignore, of course, the fact that basically all OCD sufferers talk about me, me  me. Does that mean they've all committed crimes?

Your bias is showing. Now leave this alone. And stop reading such things. You did it to see if you could figure out your thoughts. Be honest.

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1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

There you go again. Taking input and trying to turn it into evidence. You ignore, of course, the fact that basically all OCD sufferers talk about me, me  me. Does that mean they've all committed crimes?

Your bias is showing. Now leave this alone. And stop reading such things. You did it to see if you could figure out your thoughts. Be honest.

Absolutely not, Its completely unrelated to me. I find it fascinating, nothing more, nothing less. However I probably shouldn't read such things as Binxy suggests,  as i get easily triggered. But then I think why shouldn't I read things that interest me, why should i avoid it. Its so unfair. x

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13 hours ago, Saz said:

why should i avoid it. Its so unfair.

You're absolutely right Saz- but you needed to respond the right way and you're not doing that at the moment. Avoidance is something we shouldn't do- but we need to re-condition ourselves to respond differently, otherwise we disappear down the rabbit hole. Does that make sense?

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41 minutes ago, Binxy said:

You're absolutely right Saz- but you needed to respond the right way and you're not doing that at the moment. Avoidance is something we shouldn't do- but we need to re-condition ourselves to respond differently, otherwise we disappear down the rabbit hole. Does that make sense?

Yes it does. All my reactions are so negative and im constantly personalising things to me. It's not that i do it on purpose, its an automatic response and I think why is it an automatic response! 

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7 minutes ago, Saz said:

It's not that i do it on purpose, its an automatic response and I think why is it an automatic response! 

I understand this 100%- it'll take time Saz, keep chipping away at it- be on guard and recognise when you are going to start ruminating and personalising things. You can do this!

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