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Is seeing a "peeing" guy a trauma?


Guest OCDhavenobrain

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

Sooo here we go. I have been doing good but you can't control incidents outside yourself just your reaction. Thing is that i don't know what is a normal reaction in this case. I just damn the whole situation, i was doing very good even if i am feeling pains in my shoulder sand stuff have i been doing good when it comes to the mental aspect. But then this.

I was out in town and i was close to the hospital and there was this busstation, a old guy  (looked liked a homless guy) was leaning forwards and it looked he was trying to pee. 2 weeks ago did i see a guy who was peeing on a wall, i didn't see any peeing this time. There was a woman infront of me. So i got anxious direct and i need to see what kidnd of guy it was. So he was sitting and leaning over, like he was in pain. 

So I know that people who have been exposed to people who exposes themselves can get destroyed, atleast that is how it can sound sometimes. And i know that it is against the law. It is also against the law to pee on places where you are not allowed. But exposing oneselves is worse. 
So atleast i should email the police i guess. 

But I am obviously most worried about it being a trauma. Made a thread on another forum and one guy says that is a HUGE trauma, seems like a troll when judging his history. And another one is saying that you can't know for sure. It depends on the person who are exposed. 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

So i think i will let this pass. But well i don't know. I think it was wrong of him. I am overall doing fine, i am having pains in my shoulder and neck and i think it is from the accident, it could also be stress and tension but those things doesn't bother me because i am overall doing good. 

I am actually starting to feel good overall, it is that feeling of having a total new mindset, where you don't go around and solving thoughts. Instead you are living life. 

 

However me letting this pass is because i got reassured on the other forum. 

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Hey OCDhavenobrain. What would you say if somebody else posted this? Do you think what you are doing is good in the long term? I only say these things as I know that you understand obsessions and how they work but maybe you can't recognise this in yourself right now. 

It is only as traumatic as you allow it to be and giving this so much attention is going to create space in your mind for it to fester. Someone went to the toilet in the street. Most people don't want to see that but they would not spend all day wondering if they were traumatised. Nip it in the bud before it sticks.

Edited by Headwreck
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Guest OCDhavenobrain
3 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

Hey OCDhavenobrain. What would you say if somebody else posted this? Do you think what you are doing is good in the long term? I only say these things as I know that you understand obsessions and how they work but maybe you can't recognise this in yourself right now. 

It is only as traumatic as you allow it to be and giving this so much attention is going to create space in your mind for it to fester. Someone went to the toilet in the street. Most people don't want to see that but they would not spend all day thinking they were traumatised, they would forget about it. You should too. Nip it in the bud before it sticks.

No it is really bad in the long run. It happened and i got instant anxiety, instead of going ot the store did i first went back, then did i stop and analyzed it for maybe 30minutes and I was doing that when i was going home.  
And i started a thread on another forum, obvious reassurance-seeking. 

"On the other hand" do I recall cases which I have read about, I was indulging in one thread a month ago, it was people who spoke about how they had perceived people who exposed themselves, and there was this one person who said that one girl had commit suicide because of it years later...

 
I don't think I need to tell you how I try to compare others event and my event, this is 30% as bad as that one bla bla bla. 

 

The thing which seems strange to me and which I understand is this is not really how it works when you get a trauma, you don't obsess about how damaging it was, you just feel bad. So when i write this do i get triggered, because it gives me bad feelings. AND i know that here are people who obsess about being the abuser so when I write about such clearcut-cases could it be triggering i guess. So this is obviously not my intention but I am aware of this fact. 

 

The thing now is that i have to let this pass or i will get stuck, was doing very good. I even feelt confident in resisting. 

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9 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

No it is really bad in the long run. It happened and i got instant anxiety, instead of going ot the store did i first went back, then did i stop and analyzed it for maybe 30minutes and I was doing that when i was going home.  
And i started a thread on another forum, obvious reassurance-seeking. 

"On the other hand" do I recall cases which I have read about, I was indulging in one thread a month ago, it was people who spoke about how they had perceived people who exposed themselves, and there was this one person who said that one girl had commit suicide because of it years later...

 
I don't think I need to tell you how I try to compare others event and my event, this is 30% as bad as that one bla bla bla. 

 

The thing which seems strange to me and which I understand is this is not really how it works when you get a trauma, you don't obsess about how damaging it was, you just feel bad. So when i write this do i get triggered, because it gives me bad feelings. AND i know that here are people who obsess about being the abuser so when I write about such clearcut-cases could it be triggering i guess. So this is obviously not my intention but I am aware of this fact. 

 

The thing now is that i have to let this pass or i will get stuck, was doing very good. I even feelt confident in resisting. 

You are still analysing and we both know how it is neverending, you've seen me doing that. Don't analyse. Someone went to the toilet in the street. That isn't pleasant so maybe you're traumatised, maybe not. Who knows? You don't. It's okay to think that but there is no need to analyse, nobody analyses their feelings and thoughts like this.

Edited by Headwreck
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

I know I know that you have been obsessing about things which have "happened" to you, so it is possible that one obsess the "other way around" and I know what you are saying and I agree to all of it.

Well I hope this is not too triggering for anyone, I am feeling that my mind is starting to tell me that there was more. So will do my best to not let myself think about it at all. What do you say, I find all of this "saying one thing and doing another" to be pretty mindblowing, there is a grain of houmor in the hypocrisy I feel am guilty off when this is going on. 


Thank you!


ALSO failing now would really be a failure, because I was pretty confident in what I was doing. I don't see how I could get back now, but guess it is possible, well i know it is possible

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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12 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

I know I know that you have been obsessing about things which have "happened" to you, so it is possible that one obsess the "other way around" and I know what you are saying and I agree to all of it.

Well I hope this is not too triggering for anyone, I am feeling that my mind is starting to tell me that there was more. So will do my best to not let myself think about it at all. What do you say, I find all of this "saying one thing and doing another" to be pretty mindblowing, there is a grain of houmor in the hypocrisy I feel am guilty off when this is going on. 


Thank you!


ALSO failing now would really be a failure, because I was pretty confident in what I was doing. I don't see how I could get back now, but guess it is possible, well i know it is possible

How are you today?

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Guest OCDhavenobrain
2 hours ago, Headwreck said:

How are you today?

I would lie if i said it was nothing. I had this thinking before bed that... now am I not clean/undestroyed/jdbdbf... and i know i would wake up with it and I did. 

I am not thinking about it but my head seems to offer me to analyze it. Trying to figure out the motive behind. 

ALSO I got clearly reassured yesterday on the other forum so that was bad and i feel my anxietylevel have increased. It was very low, not only about one thing, it was low overall, I didn't even care about poisions and stuff the other day.

It seems pretty strange to me that this always happens. Some trigger comes along sooner or later and BOOM. I am not genuinly surprised because I know that it could be the OCD latching onto things which aren"t really "things".

Thanks for the replies yesterday i would most definetely used googleif it wasn't because of the answers here. Would probably end up reading about rapes and would get a lovely panicattack....

Not really feeling anxiety more this scary feeling of not being grounded. Like I am walking on a fine line, where there is threats. If this makes sense.

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

Stood washing and a thought hit me. I mean i havent been completly honest. I never saw him peeing. I just assumed because i saw a guy a while ago . I also assume it was the same guy. He was like leaning forward and i come by. Ot was raining btw and i was cycling. So was the woman infront of me.There was a glaswindow separating. Then because i had to figure it out did I have to go back and then he was leaning forward. It looked like he could be in pain but this could be a justification from my mind to make something bad less severe. I guess  I should report it to the police either way. Well well well have to do something else for a period of time. This is not healthy

 

Btw leaning forward sitting down afterwards. Oooh god. I feel like i am justifyikg some horrible persons behaviours and also i feel kinda well obsessive. 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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You are still thinking about something yesterday that everyone else around you at the time who also witnessed it (if there was anything to witness) probably forgot about minutes later. You know the drill, thinking about it gets you nowhere but deeper down the rut.

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You seem to be stuck on this concept that you can be destroyed by seeing or experiencing certain things. Seeing a guy peeing in public should be easily dismissed as irrelevant. It doesn't have to be life changing if you choose to not let it.

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

So I need to pick it up from here, I really do agree with you guys who says that free-time can be tricky-time when you have OCD. 

I have been obsessing about the thing about my hear and the guy in the queue, also did some googling. So here I am sitting a sunday and feeling undecideful so i went on CNN and there was a new about Roundup and I got anxious because of that. A guy who had got cancer, after just 2 years after using Roundup. It seems to me that Roundup probably is the next DDT. Now one have to use logic and not go to the conclusion that it is all over, which OCD offers me. Well, if i ever will recover I need to do the hard work.

 

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/08/10/health/monsanto-johnson-trial-verdict/index.html

 

 

I got a thought --> anxiety ( we all know how bad that feels)

 

Involving will make it worse

Not involving will make it ease away. 

 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Ugh, this herbicide controversy is quite messy. No-one seems to know whether or not glyphosate is actually dangerous - even the WHO keeps flip-flopping.

It's hard to tell if or when anybody will get cancer. You've read about this weed killer chemical and learned about its potential risks, which I think is fine - but don't obsess about it! Well done for refusing to accept the conclusions that your OCD has jumped to and for not assuming the worst. :)

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Guest OCDhavenobrain
17 minutes ago, bobfish said:

Ugh, this herbicide controversy is quite messy. No-one seems to know whether or not glyphosate is actually dangerous - even the WHO keeps flip-flopping.

It's hard to tell if or when anybody will get cancer. You've read about this weed killer chemical and learned about its potential risks, which I think is fine - but don't obsess about it! Well done for refusing to accept the conclusions that your OCD has jumped to and for not assuming the worst. :)

Yes it was a big mistake of the persons who used it in my case. Even told them. 2 years after exposure seems like a very short time. Usually you get the cancer after a while. 

I will assume the worst

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

I know what you are saying it is just that this is in the news now. And well it turned out i was right, pretty tired of being right in those questions... Why can't people take precaution before something happens. The exposure happened and there is nothing I can do about it. I told my relative that this is not good for your health bla bla, but well bought it yet another time. So I have been exposed 2 times in like 5 years. 

I know that trying to figure out how much I have been exposed to would be a compulsion. How do you even do that. Tired of feeling anxious and I am overall getting better but yea. News AND events. 

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

I was planning on not showering today. But after I saw a red spot/spots on my stomach, kinda like blisters, did I get confused so decided to watch on my shirt I weared today and Yep there was a white spot/line. 

Where there have been used roundup 2-3 months ago have my clothes been hanging to dry, NOW sometimes the wind make them fall down to the ground. You figure.. It has to be atleast a few grams which could have been absorbed. 

So i am assuming it was roundup on the shirt which made my skin react. 

I am not even taking this as an OCD-event but I do realize that one can control the reaction to a bad event, so I have to do that. But it is kinda sad that those things have to happen. But yea a real exposure for sure! Not even if you use the thing is it supposed to come in contact with your skin, and one have to assume that this situation undoubtly will make it come in contact with my skin.

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

Dont ask me why but i took a very small bite of a benzo. I have a hard day tomorrow atleads a telephonecall and it just feels lile my obsessions are gathering up against me like crazy..boom boom boom.  New obsessions.  Not too anxious about it but nervous. Will probably obsess about it but iy have been 70 days after possible concussion so i wont stress about it.

 

Take care everybody

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

I am feeling really jittery today. 

 

Never took benzo yesyerday btw. Miiight do today. We will see

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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What are you up to today, OCDhavenobrain? Are you doing anything that makes you happy or calms you?

As you know, your obsessions are probably blowing things out of proportion. Your OCD is jumping to the worst conclusions - you wouldn't even have thought about the link to Roundup if you hadn't heard it on the news. There are many, many reasons why you might get spots - surely you've had them before? Try to stop  catastrophising.

Edited by bobfish
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Guest OCDhavenobrain
5 hours ago, bobfish said:

What are you up to today, OCDhavenobrain? Are you doing anything that makes you happy or calms you?

As you know, your obsessions are probably blowing things out of proportion. Your OCD is jumping to the worst conclusions - you wouldn't even have thought about the link to Roundup if you hadn't heard it on the news. There are many, many reasons why you might get spots - surely you've had them before? Try to stop  catastrophising.

Thank you Bobfish I was out and it relieved it greatly. But the day started with an too familiar anxietyattack. My heart pounded and had a hard time breathing. Really nervous. However i can handle anxietyattacks IF just the thoughts are not as strong. Funny really, but you can get anxiety with or without thoughts. When you have them with thoughts they really suck, but if you just are having them like you have consumed too much caffeine, then they are bearable. 

The only thing i obsess about now is the thing in the affair, or should I say when i was home and feelt something in my hair, I had sweat greatly and I also use earplugs made out of vax at night. I did some tests and it is possible to get that texture from them. Have pretty long hair and when you are using a helmet do it "gather up". It was like my hair was thicker. 

But also have this idea that they are having videocams in the affair and maybe i should contact them, it would really be farfetched. And it is not really an idea I like. 

Remember this guy standing right behind me, I do remember that I thought that he was passive-agressive, then after a while did he go to the stand with newspaper, this would be the perfect cover up if you had done something. And why would I classify him as passive-aggressive? Could it be my unconscious that picked something up, which made me feel strange? Who knows, the cameras know. Then did they open a new line and he went away. 

So that would be trauma and I don't like the idea of it. 

 

Also I can feel like how it could be possible to go on with my life and be much more calm like I have been lately, but then there are all those thoughts which you can engage in. And we all know how the thoughts offers "safety", wouldn't the most responsible thing be to care about ones safety. Well.... we allknow where that ends

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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Guest OCDhavenobrain

I was going out but after 1hour did i start to get panicking feelings. Images of something I had watched yesterday. I mean there are pictures and videos on the internet of abusers. So I got those images in my head. Then did I start to feel in my hair how it feels normally. And I couldn't stand it, a feeling of tiredness so I took like 1.5mg oxazepam. Not much, don't really care if placebo or not. 

Sooo I am getting increasingly annoyed by the whole situation. 

 

Contacting the affair seems to becomming a greater and greater idea. What do you think?

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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