Puffin Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Hello all :) I'm a long time lurked of these forums. I was diagnosed with ocd at 17 and have been in and out of therapy over the years. I've had some fantastic therapists who gave me great tools to support my illness, I'm also on medication. Ive had periods of doing very well with recovery and also some incredible lows. Unfortunately I am really struggling with a relapse this week. Work has been very busy and my ocd has come back with avengance. I'm paranoid, exhausted and depressed. I was very looking forward to a good night's sleep and am now in bed paralysed by thinking I've got a flesh eating bacteria as I have a scrape on my ankle that's red and itchy. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow but would appreciate any help in the mean time. Sending virtual hugs to you all. Link to comment
Emsie Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) Hi Puffin, I'm sorry to hear your struggling right now. It's a hard time to have an OCD fear because it's hard not to ruminate when you're lying in bed.. Maybe you could get up and do something to try to break the cycle. You've had an intrusive thought, you've given it meaning and if you're anything like me you've googled too (I'm getting better on that one and learning from my mistakes). You're probably ruminating and doing other mental compulsions. It's good you're in therapy and seeing your therapist tomorrow. Try to remember that OCD makes a huge deal out of things when the risks are minimal, the thoughts seem real but it doesn't mean that they are. I can really empathise as I suffer from health OCD. Take a deep breath, try and get up and do something for a short while before you go back to bed and try your very best to not engage. Sending you a virtual hug back. Em x Edited August 16, 2018 by Emsie Link to comment
paradoxer Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Puffin (cute name by the way). There are no glib bromides. I'll just say this, you know OCD's inane MO, you've been through this before, you've come out the other side, as you will this time. Another virtual hug coming your way. Link to comment
paradoxer Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 25 minutes ago, Emsie said: Hi Puffin, I'm sorry to hear your struggling right now. It's a hard time to have an OCD fear because it's hard not to ruminate when you're lying in bed.. Maybe you could get up and do something to try to break the cycle. You've had an intrusive thought, you've given it meaning and if you're anything like me you've googled too (I'm getting better on that one and learning from my mistakes). You're probably ruminating and doing other mental compulsions. It's good you're in therapy and seeing your therapist tomorrow. Try to remember that OCD makes a huge deal out of things when the risks are minimal, the thoughts seem real but it doesn't mean that they are. I can really empathise as I suffer from health OCD. Take a deep breath, try and get up and do something for a short while before you go back to bed and try your very best to not engage. Sending you a virtual hug back. Em x BTW a great simple adage there, 'Don't engage'. Link to comment
Puffin Posted August 17, 2018 Author Share Posted August 17, 2018 Thank you both means alot Emsie - yes you are 100% right, I googled it and then had a massive panic Yes that's very true about OCD! I also still struggle with self compassion and I think having a big wobble recently the internal diaglog of hopelessness and depression is harder to deal with which makes challenging OCD a bit more exhausting. Thank you that's good advise and very helpful thank you for your compassion and hope your mental health journey is going well x Paradoxer - thank You! I am a bit of a bird nerd Yes that is very accurate advise, I've been through it many times before. There's a good OCD book "when in doubt make hope" as essentially OCD works on the worse case scenario and sometimes you just need to have a bit of trust that life isn't just a giant **** sandwich! Thank you for your time x Link to comment
Emsie Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 16 hours ago, Puffin said: Thank you both means alot Emsie - yes you are 100% right, I googled it and then had a massive panic Yes that's very true about OCD! I also still struggle with self compassion and I think having a big wobble recently the internal diaglog of hopelessness and depression is harder to deal with which makes challenging OCD a bit more exhausting. Thank you that's good advise and very helpful thank you for your compassion and hope your mental health journey is going well x Paradoxer - thank You! I am a bit of a bird nerd Yes that is very accurate advise, I've been through it many times before. There's a good OCD book "when in doubt make hope" as essentially OCD works on the worse case scenario and sometimes you just need to have a bit of trust that life isn't just a giant **** sandwich! Thank you for your time x You’re so welcome Puffin. I hope you’re feeling better today and your therapy session went well. Google is our enemy, we look for reassurance but we won’t find it and we just scare ourselves even more. When you have the urge to google, try to delay it and sit with the anxiety and the urge will fade. I wish I could take back a lot of things I’ve read and the huge amounts of time that I’ve wasted. Ignorance is bliss I find. Take care. X Link to comment
Emsie Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 20 hours ago, paradoxer said: BTW a great simple adage there, 'Don't engage'. Link to comment
cookiemonster Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 You have said that you have been given some great tools by therapists. Put them into practice. I know it’s easier said than done. Start with small goals achieveable and build up. You have been in recovery before. You can do it Link to comment
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