Battle in my mind - Merged Thread

[bruces]

I'm constantly weighing up how relative life is,I'm swaying between the good and bad points in my life trying to find some kind of rhyme or reason to living.

i find myself making mental lists of positives and negatives in my life,it's like some kind of mental see-saw,also how my absence would affect family it's exhausting. 

[cookiemonster]

Have you thought about trying to do things to keep yourself busy so less time for thinking. Maybe hobbies you have enjoyed in the past. 

[bruces]

I do quite a lot,I go to the pub and ride my motorbike,go to watch football but I can never distract myself.

i feel I've missed out on life like I suppose a lot of us have! 

[bruces]

Is life meant to be enjoyable or is that just being unrealistic? 

[bobfish]

Hey Bruces, I think we all have regrets and wish that certain things had gone differently. Life tends to throw us a curve ball from time to time. My life has been derailed a bit as well: a few years ago I even had aspirations of becoming a commercial pilot, but due to a series of two massive health problems in secondary school that's probably never going to happen. The second health problem also ultimately led to me developing OCD, and suddenly I was faced with a severe anxiety disorder that, at its worst, prevented me from performing everyday tasks.

Do I wish things had been different? Of course. But there's no point spending all our time wondering what we've missed out on - instead, we should focus on the present and come up with ways to make our real lives enjoyable!

It does sound like you do quite a lot, which is good, although as you say, you're still finding it difficult to distract yourself from your thoughts. I'm just wondering, have you fallen into a routine with these activities? For example, when you go for motorbike rides, do you always visit the same places or do the same things? If so, maybe it's time to make meaningful changes to your life - even something as simple as being more adventurous and visiting new places during your bike rides, perhaps finding other people to ride together with, could possibly 'spice things up a bit' and make you feel more interested. Otherwise, you could try taking up a completely new hobby, something completely different to what you're used to?

Life can be enjoyable, but it's ultimately up to you to find ways to enjoy life.

Edited August 23, 2018 by bobfish

[bruces]

Why life has to be so cruel I really don't know! 

[taurean]

It can be a challenge, and OCD is a challenge on its own. 

I used to be a terrible worrier, worrying about any manner of things. 

Had I carried on like that I may not have survived, it would have destroyed my health. 

So I bought a self-help book on how to conquer worry, and set about doing exactly that - thank goodness I did. 

I didn't give up when my first attempts at coping with an SSRI drug were unsuccessful. With the help of my doctor I found a way to get through the initial side effect of diarrhoea that held me back. 

I had real problems with OCD in episodes that sometimes might go on for weeks. 

But I didn't give up. I worked hard at CBT and kept on trying additional ways of seeking to tackle constantly -repeating intrusions. 

I didn't give up and eventually, with help, found a way. 

For the determined, solutions are there to be found. 

But we must have that determination that we shall not be beaten, that we will find a way. Hard work can bring good rewards. 

Edited August 23, 2018 by taurean

[kaheath80]

I recently submitted an article which was unfortunately rejected. But the topic of the article was about a quote I read saying ‘mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is’. A lot of people on Facebook disagreed with the quote. But it’s true. At some point you have to take that step and put in the hard work to start the recovery process.

[bruces]

I'm worried sick about changing jobs I'm in a real mess,I just wish it was 100 years from now lol 

[taurean]

So what are your worries regarding the new job? 

Remember, worry serves no purpose because it solves and achieves nothing. 

So let's look at those worries and set you about how to address each one so there is a path to resolve them. 

[taurean]

13 hours ago, bruces said:

I'm constantly weighing up how relative life is,I'm swaying between the good and bad points in my life trying to find some kind of rhyme or reason to living.

i find myself making mental lists of positives and negatives in my life,it's like some kind of mental see-saw,also how my absence would affect family it's exhausting. 

That is a bundle of OCD thinking bruces. You need to learn to, when the urge to ruminate, to analyse, occurs (both consequential compulsions), stop falling down into that rabbit hole by noticing what you are doing, stopping, then refocusing away. 

It's tough at first but soon becomes a new way of thinking instead of the carrying out of those compulsions. 

[bruces]

I seem unable to think of anything else 

[taurean]

19 minutes ago, bruces said:

I seem unable to think of anything else 

But you can. I felt like that too. 

I would get episodes of OCD with my mind totally locked into negative repetitive thinking. 

But I believed what I was told, had fantastic help from here. 

Do your best to get close to achieve ( the A)  something each day, get a little closer to others (the C) - take an interest in them and their issues ( see if you might help them)  and rack up your personal enjoyment in things ( the E) that interest you. 

Those three letters - ACE - are a helpful key to breaking out of negative thinking. 

 

Edited August 24, 2018 by taurean

[bruces]

I feel like such a massive failure in all aspects of my life  

[taurean]

So change your thinking and behaviours to turn things round. 

We have told you how to do this bruces. Let's see you start to do it. 

[bruces]

I'm really worried and distraught about my parents being in their 70s it worries me dreadfully 

[bobfish]

Do you think posting all these negative comments is going to help in any way?

No offence bruces, but don't you think your threads are a little strange? There doesn't seem to be any conversation going on - you don't even acknowledge the brilliant advice given to you; you completely disregard all the replies and just carry on self-pitying and getting bogged down in all your worries, as though no-one ever replied.

Put simply, if you want to get better, this needs to stop. You're the one giving these thoughts too much importance. Only you can make changes to stop that happening any longer.

[bruces]

I know I do apolagise my replies often go off on a tangent. 

[bruces]

My mind is telling me that there isn't anything to look forward to in life,maybe that's the illness but I can back it up with proof too. 

[taurean]

Don't listen to your mind. 

Remember the illness asks for certainty, proof. 

Leave it alone. Start following the advice from your friends and forget the past and build a new present and future. 

[bruces]

Oddly I often try to live in a fantasy world one where I'm mentally healthy and have clear skin and a loving girlfriend with holidays and things to loook forward to,lol 

[taurean]

Well that's good. You can turn fantasy into reality. 

OCD never stopped me dating getting married buying our own homes having fun working till retirement. 

We are only defeated if we choose to stay defeated. We can get better, do at least some of the things we would like to do.

The only person stopping us is we ourselves. 

 

Edited August 24, 2018 by taurean

[bobfish]

Hey bruces, do you feel up for a challenge? So, in the past you've been encouraged to think more positively, and you've been given lots of advice for it. Now, do you think you can try putting it in practice? For every negative post you write, you have to follow it with at least one positive post, whether that's a small change to your everyday life you're going to make, a different perspective on things, etc. Even better would be if you got rid of the negative posts entirely. But I think you should really make an effort to break this chain of pessimistic posting by adding constructive updates.

[taurean]

1 hour ago, bobfish said:

Hey bruces, do you feel up for a challenge? So, in the past you've been encouraged to think more positively, and you've been given lots of advice for it. Now, do you think you can try putting it in practice? For every negative post you write, you have to follow it with at least one positive post, whether that's a small change to your everyday life you're going to make, a different perspective on things, etc. Even better would be if you got rid of the negative posts entirely. But I think you should really make an effort to break this chain of pessimistic posting by adding constructive updates.

 

[lostinme]

3 hours ago, bobfish said:

Hey bruces, do you feel up for a challenge? So, in the past you've been encouraged to think more positively, and you've been given lots of advice for it. Now, do you think you can try putting it in practice? For every negative post you write, you have to follow it with at least one positive post, whether that's a small change to your everyday life you're going to make, a different perspective on things, etc. Even better would be if you got rid of the negative posts entirely. But I think you should really make an effort to break this chain of pessimistic posting by adding constructive updates.

I think this is a great idea bruces, are you going to give it a try