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Battle in my mind - Merged Thread


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It's a strange old existence that comes to us all,repeatedly getting up at the crack of dawn to fight our way to a place we don't want to be,to interact with people you don't care for and perform tasks we have no interest i. 

All in the name of MONEY the one commodity the world  is interested in! 

A slave to society in order to pay your way and repeat the same old meaningless tasks day in day out. 

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2 hours ago, bruces said:

Does anybody ever feel bored and tired of life? 

The only way you'll stop feeling like this is if you change something, either your way of thinking about something or some aspect of your life.

So, what are you going to do about it?

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23 hours ago, bruces said:

It's a strange old existence that comes to us all,repeatedly getting up at the crack of dawn to fight our way to a place we don't want to be,to interact with people you don't care for and perform tasks we have no interest i. 

All in the name of MONEY the one commodity the world  is interested in! 

A slave to society in order to pay your way and repeat the same old meaningless tasks day in day out. 

'Just to get money' is certainly one way of looking at work, though it suggests a rather narrow vision of what money and work are really about. :dry:

Before money, back in the stone age, I don't doubt there was someone who crawled out from under his buffalo hide in the morning grousing about having to chisel a new spear head out of flint, just so he could go out hunting in the rain. :mad:  All for FOOD, the only commodity anyone was interested in. Probably considered himself a slave to stone age society because he had to repeat the same tasks day in and day out...

If he had griped about 'making a living' even half as much as you do he'd have starved to death. :laugh:

My point is that it's all in your mind, Bruce. You tell yourself that your life is miserable, so it's no surprise that your life feels miserable. Change the story you tell yourself and even the most mundane tasks of everyday living become more bearable. 

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52 minutes ago, bruces said:

..,but should I hide it or should I say how I feel? 

You don't have to and you shouldn't hide how you're feeling Bruce, but would it be worth giving some thought to finding someone.....maybe a professional therapist you would be able to talk to absolutely honestly and freely about how you're feeling without having to worry about the effect it may have on your loved ones?

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1 hour ago, snowbear said:

'Just to get money' is certainly one way of looking at work, though it suggests a rather narrow vision of what money and work are really about. :dry:

Before money, back in the stone age, I don't doubt there was someone who crawled out from under his buffalo hide in the morning grousing about having to chisel a new spear head out of flint, just so he could go out hunting in the rain. :mad:  All for FOOD, the only commodity anyone was interested in. Probably considered himself a slave to stone age society because he had to repeat the same tasks day in and day out...

If he had griped about 'making a living' even half as much as you do he'd have starved to death. :laugh:

My point is that it's all in your mind, Bruce. You tell yourself that your life is miserable, so it's no surprise that your life feels miserable. Change the story you tell yourself and even the most mundane tasks of everyday living become more bearable. 

My hero Dale Carnegie, tells a story in that great book that helped me break my worry habit. 

A clerk was bored with her work and felt unfulfilled. 

So she decided to change the way she viewed her work. 

She considered ways she could improve the systems; ways of making the processes more interesting, ways of interacting better with the other persons who were part of the processes. 

She changed things around. Now she loved the work, and was popular with the people with whom she worked - and her working life became a pleasure not a pain. 

In my work I found the high level of compliance, necessary though it was, a challenge and a big concern - I constantly feared a compliance failure. 

So I decided to take a keen interest in that necessary compliance. I became an expert in it, and helped other members of the team. 

Both these stories show ordinary people turning minuses into plusses. 

Finally, my own work became a real joy because I made it so. 

Basically my team provided a specific set of services to a very restricted class of professional firms. 

The work might be considered quite samish. But for me each client was different. I needed to develop psychological skills to find out what made them tick, what they really wanted, how I could provide the experience they wanted. 

I developed my technical skills to enhance my abilities and proficiency. Mentored other staff and ran training courses for our young people. 

My job was so interesting that I didn't see it as work. It was something I truly loved to do, and I got paid for it :)

 

Edited by taurean
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If we adapt this concept to snowbear's tale of the caveman...... 

Our hero liked to put a nice sharp edge on his spears, and sought out the very best flintstones in order to do so. 

He took great care in making the shafts, making the edges smooth but adding a binding at the throwing point to aid accuracy, and a monogram to show they were his. 

He honed his hunting skills so much, and he developed his DIY skills to such a high extent in cave interior design that the cavewoman of his dreams, who had previously spurned his advances, fell in love with him.

He was able to take a mortgage out on a low cost cave with great potential, which he soon licked into shape, including a kitchen with honed stone worktops and a gorgeous fireplace ; a kitchen and home which he and his wife adored. 

Edited by taurean
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59 minutes ago, bruces said:

There's a lot of things I wish I was able to change but I cannot unfortunately! 

Of course you can. I use the serenity prayer. 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

Remember you cannot change what has happened in the past - but you can change how you view it and you can accept then forget it - as I did. 

You can change your view of work. Down in the garage nearby where I now take my car they have done this and they are happy people taking pride in their work. 

At my former garage in London they did a wonderful job - so much so that Nick - who ran it - half expected me to drive all the way back from Northampton when it needed a service or MOT :biggrin:

None of us need be tied down by our disabilities or OCD. My sister with various disabilities including breast cancer in remission, mobility problems upper limb disorders and managing OCD lives a very full life with her family and within the community.

As I said before, I have physical and mental disabilities. I used to be a compulsive worrier. I manage my OCD well, and I live a very full life with an outgoing personality and happiness and joy bias. 

My sister and I learned the folly of defeat. We used the serenity prayer, took CBT and really worked on it. 

I spend time here now committed to passing on to others what I have learned. 

Words are a fine thing, but action is needed. 

You have what you need, bruces, to go about making changes in your beliefs and your circumstances. 

I have met and still do meet a lot of people. Many of them have suffered, and overcome, setbacks. Some haven't, and stay stuck - they made the wrong choice. 

Edited by taurean
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I feel bad as my problems arnt anywhere near as some other people's I know,but it's still bad enough to feel like calling it a day on life.

i admire people who battle on despite all their problems but I just seem unable to do that. 

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Here is another saying from my hero Dale Carnegie. 

" I don't believe in defeat ".

At the moment, you do, and you do not need to. 

Applying some of the simple tools we have been passing on to you can turn things round. 

You only need to try them. 

Edited by taurean
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I feel life has maybe beaten me,not only that but I've beaten my family into submission too,I've failed pretty much in all aspects of my life and I've dragged my family down with me.

i sometimes wonder if their lives would be enriched without me? 

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It's good that you have come out with this bruces. It shows where your perception is. 

But parents don't tend to think that way. Whatever the challenges their children face. 

I don’t consider having a job, being in the workforce, failure - many people here would give their eye teeth to be able to work. 

Some of my friends in our local have severe health issues - but they are amongst the happiest people I know. 

And one guy, a roofer, is as happy as Larry. A very repetitive, samish, risky job - yet he knows how to love and appreciate it. 

You can turn your perceptions around. 

Try that exercise suggested previously. Take some negative perceptions and work out a more positive take on each. 

It's a beneficial exercise. 

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Sure psoriasis is unpleasant but I have a friend back in London who treats skin complaints using complimentary medicine not drugs. 

Might be worth your while looking for someone like that locally. 

Yep know all about thoughts going round and round. Later on today I will dig out some previous stuff I have written that will help with that. 

 

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