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I keep reading that this is chronic


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Does this mean I will be worried about this forever? I can't keep living my life how I'm living it, there is no enjoyment, no happiness, I just go through the motions in order to get through the day to get to bed at night where I can sleep and get a break. But even now I am not getting a break as I'm having horrible dreams. And when I wake up it's right there as soon as my eyes adjust. As for my partner, he doesn't deserve this, his life is hell because of me.

I do have OCD as I have been diagnosed a long time ago, ie checking compulsions and do have intrusive thoughts about floods, fires, burglary, which causes me to check things, also extremely worried when it comes to work and making mistakes, especially at the weekend when I can't check to make sure. But I'm not convinced that I have it about my current worry. That said, I do know that I am being excessive about it.

When people are saying it's chronic, what is it like to live with? Is it this forever as if so then sorry but I'm out? People say you learn to live with your obsession, I don't want to just 'learn to live' with it, what sort of life is that.

Edited by Headwreck
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The best thing to do as a sufferer from OCD is accept that we have it, then engage with therapy to beat it. 

And that is certainly doable. 

The way to beat themes and intrusions of OCD is to stop believing or connecting with them. 

This takes time and effort - but the sufferer that goes through therapy committed to making it work is likely to emerge, after putting in the time and effort to apply what they have learned, with intrusions considerably reduced and, for those where they do occur, the likelihood may be that they can just gently, but firmly, ease them away. 

Time is wasted on carrying out the compulsion of looking for what causes OCD, or can we ever recover. 

Time is best spent on cognitive behavioural therapy and applying what we learn from it. 

Around a 1 in a 100 people suffer from OCD that affects daily living. They aren't cursed or doomed - they have an illness from which recovery is possible and management very likely. But only if they put in the time belief and effort. 

As kaheath80 has said in her excellent piece, we have to be dedicated and committed to get better. 

It isn't a short process, there is no quick fix, there will be challenges/blips - and people often give up just when they may be about to succeed. 

Edited by taurean
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Because I'm concerned that my life is going to be absolutely garbage like it is now and always has been and I'm trapped for at least another 30 years, knowing my luck even longer, unless I get the guts to finish it or something else cuts life short. Everywhere I read about OCD they say it's not curable and instead you learn to live with it and have days better than others. I just can't be bothered, everything is always a battle.

Also today I'm just agreeing with the thoughts, I am sick of it. The question I have is this. Agreeing with the thoughts we are saying we have done these disgusting things. So does that not mean we have to own up? So we just say we are these things and don't tell anyone or own up or hand ourselves in etc? So do I tell my partner now or am I meant to sit here and lie?

Edited by Headwreck
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2 hours ago, taurean said:

 

34 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

. Agreeing with the thoughts we are saying we have done these disgusting things. So does that not mean we have to own up? So we just say we are these things and don't tell anyone or own up or hand ourselves in etc? So do I tell my partner now or am I meant to sit here and lie?

The way to beat themes and intrusions of OCD is to stop believing or connecting with them. 

The only liar around is OCD. 

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1 hour ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Why do you keep on reading about how people are saying that it is chronic?

 

57 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Yes, why are you reading junk like this?

I absolutely agree with our friends here.

It's a compulsion and like all compulsions it is totally unhelpful - in this case feeding the OCD by suggesting doubt. 

We need to get beating, not feeding, our OCD - and we do that by seeing how unhelpful and damaging engaging in any type of compulsion is. 

Edited by taurean
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It’s one of those ironic things that happen often with mental illness. By obsessing over the worry that you might have OCD forever, you make it more likely to happen. Ignoring things like this make it more likely you will recover and not be stuck like the thing that you read suggests.

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This is just day in day out. I feel like I'm playing different strategies with my head all the time, every day different methods of how to stop doing this. Nothing is working. And reading about all of this stuff ie it's incurable, is making me think that it's all futile. Or maybe I've not got OCD anyway but I think I have because I have read so much about it and playing up to it.

I only have you all to speak to. I'm sorry if I repeat or seem ignorant or rude, I am really thankful for you all and this place. But I feel like I'm trying to swim in a swamp with a blindfold on. No idea or direction even though I have all of this great advice.

Edited by Headwreck
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I've been reading a book called "reasons to stay alive" by matt haig. 

It was a good book but kind of pointed out that depression and anxiety are life-long and it's something we are always going to struggle with. 

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34 minutes ago, bruces said:

I've been reading a book called "reasons to stay alive" by matt haig. 

It was a good book but kind of pointed out that depression and anxiety are life-long and it's something we are always going to struggle with. 

This is simply not so. The way to tackle depression and anxiety is to tackle whatever is causing them - plus to learn a positive, not negative, take on things. 

Many years ago I used to be a compulsive worrier - I worried about everything, and that of course led to anxiety, health issues and resultant depression. 

I found the right book to tackle this - " How To Stop Worrying And Start Living " by Dale Carnegie ( still in print despite being published in the 1950s).

I read, re-read, and practised the techniques in this book until I conquered worry and the consequent bad health and depression. 

I had four cognitive thinking distortions triggering anxiety. With the help of my CBT therapist I have overcome them. 

My OCD used to be so bad, and episodes of it so long, that I would sink into consequential depression. I never gave up on finding a way forward, am doing much better now, and am not depressed. 

 

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These words of Jesus are great to encourage us to look for answers :

" Seek, and you shall find ".

Note there is no doubt there - go looking, and you shall find the answer. 

But this is a 2-edged sword. If we go looking for sadness, gloom and doom, negativity, depression - we shall find it. 

So let's not do that. Let's use the excellent advice on this forum to ditch our blue take on life and seek the rose -coloured alternatives. 

So seek positivity - seek improvement - seek solutions - seek change, seek guidance from others, and you shall find it. 

Edited by taurean
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STOP reading websites that say OCD will be around forever. Can you not see that as a major problem? Anyone who wrote that garbage sure didn't talk to me first. 

No you don't confess. What are you confessing to? You do not know that you did anything wrong and you have zero evidence of same.

 

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Well I don't know why I started looking. I stopped Googling OCD for a while but I started again maybe a few days ago. It's like I need to read about it to see if it's that or not. Or sometimes I do it because it's as though I like reading about it? I know I do have OCD about other things but this doesn't feel like OCD.

I haven't confessed but I'm in the same boat as I always. Not as anxious as it is night time but know I'll be back to square one tomorrow and Groundhog Day starts all over again.

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If you are fretting over whether it's OCD or not, then it likely is. 

Why?  Because it plays on exactly this and demands certainty to prove it. 

For me, that's a weakness because it is a powerful indicator that OCD is at work. And, of course, the ruminating compulsion is another massive clue that it is the work of OCD. 

Take those two things into account and it will  start to feel more like OCD. 

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The problem is that as long as you use compulsions as a method of controlling anxiety/OCD then it will result in being chronic.  If we give up on compulsion and learn to gradually change our reactions and responses then life can improve and get better.  Yes, sometimes it can be episodic, returning at times of stress but it can also be that we can live a life without it.  This won't happen whilst hanging on to the use of compulsions.  

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3 hours ago, Headwreck said:

I'm in the same boat as I always. Not as anxious as it is night time but know I'll be back to square one tomorrow and Groundhog Day starts all over again.

Read again what Caramoole has said, Headwreck. Really take it in. 

Groundhog day is an apt description of how it feels when stuck in the clutches of OCD. 

But escape, as I well know, is possible for those that put in the work. 

A combination of learning how the OCD works (the C) and changing our responses and cutting out the compulsions (the B) in CBT will reduce then take away the disorder. 

Groundhog day can come to an end. 

Edited by taurean
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Depression can also have the rumination and repetitive thoughts though, which I have been diagnosed with previously, so it bothers me because I don't know if this whole thing is a byproduct of depression rather than OCD.

Having a really bad morning again, back to work, and also very anxious because I had a night out with work on Friday and I'm worried I did something bad or offended someone as one of the partners of a guy I work with was looking at me in a weird way. I got quite drunk which I'm prone to doing as I tell myself I need the chance to forget everything for a while. And drink = stupidity. They were also making jokes about someone who wasn't there on the night and I joined in because it was the first time everyone had spoken to me in a social setting since I had been there. And now I know I'm just a horrible person but that's what I get for engaging in these behaviours yet sit here crying when I get my just desserts.

I know it's the same old :censored: but don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, feel like I just want to self destruct and destroy everything so I can either start again or end it all. Everything feels wrong and I feel like everything I do proves that I'm scum.

Edited by Headwreck
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Everything you say there epitomises the place in which you are currently stuck due to OCD. 

Stop worrying about it, stop the ruminating - the belief you did something wrong, the "I must be a bad person"  - all OCD. 

When your mind tries to wonder to this stop ✋. Note it, and refocus to work or something beneficial and distracting. 

It will pull at you, you will feel mentally tired,strained. 

But it is the way forward - I have been exactly there, I know how this feels, I know how depressive this can make us. 

You can do this Headwreck. 

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19 hours ago, kaheath80 said:

It’s one of those ironic things that happen often with mental illness. By obsessing over the worry that you might have OCD forever, you make it more likely to happen. Ignoring things like this make it more likely you will recover and not be stuck like the thing that you read suggests.

RE the above, I'd also add, focusing too much on hating OCD only gives it the importance it craves, better to just hold it in contempt - see it as absurd. 

Edited by paradoxer
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My partner just doesn't get it. He said I need to take control of my mind and my life by just saying no when I get the thought and the urge to think. Just no all the time, even vocally.

But I can't do it, it's automatic and when I try not to do it I feel I am lying to him and myself if I don't think about it. So I'm sat here thinking about this for almost a year day in day out. I don't remember the last obsession feeling this bad although I know it was very bad for a long time but, I could push through it as it wasn't focused on me but this is horrendous as it's me that's done the bad thing. Why does this have to last so long for me, most people only have it for a few weeks or months, mine go on for years?

What an absolute mess.

Edited by Headwreck
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