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Volunteer work and contamination fears


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Just after some help with anyone has some ideas. Since my last post I have made a few small changes. So for the past two days I have been able to eat my dinner later than I normally would. It hasn't felt that bad. I found that if I was occupied with something I was able to push the times a bit further.

So now what I need help with. This is harder to work with. I mentioned that I was due to do some volunteer work. I attended the training and found out that the work will involve handshakes and high fives with the children. The person taking the training mentioned that handshakes and high fives with the children is very common during the sessions each week. Then in the induction we had to practice the technique used in doing this with the children. The children have extra needs, so this way of interacting is about safe physical contact. I managed to do the practice in the induction even though inside my anxiety was going crazy. Afterwards I had to sit with it knowing my hands had been touching another persons'.

Sadly I didn't last long before washing my hands afterwards during the break. I know to really challenge myself I should have just sat with the anxiety and not washed my hands.

I am really keen to do this volunteer role and have registered my interest to continue with the process. I have a few weeks before the sessions start. I need to work on my anxiety around contamination. Because I know when it comes to meeting the children my anxiety is going to go through the roof.

Any ideas of what to do over the next few weeks?

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Hi Jamie, what you probably should do is take the volunteering job, high five the children and not wash your hands.  A lot easier said than done though.  Out of interest what are you worried about touching them for, would you be anxious touching anyone's hands or is it something to do with being children with extra needs?  I also have problems with washing my hands too much and in my work I come into a lot of contact with people who are not the cleanest.  I have to shower as soon as I get home and I'm a million miles from being able to not doing this.

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OCD greatly exaggerates, with such themes as contamination, and creates threats that others don't recognise or accept.

We beat it partly by challenging it - not accepting the restrictive rules it tries to set. And by working through CBT including exposure and response prevention.

In the end we are able to view its insinuations as the worthless nonsense that non-sufferers do. 

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The issue with contamination is with anyone not just children or children with special needs and is the fear is of getting ill. Last year I managed to volunteer for 8 weeks and this ironically also involved high fiving children. At the time I had lots of anxiety around doing this and handling things they had also touched. With that I attended each session, did what I needed to do and washed my hands after using the toilet at the end. So I wasn't going to any extremes, it was more the anxiety.

I have been thinking more about this and realise I need to start challenging myself more. I know some of compulsions I do feel more hard to change. Like using tissue to lock doors and flush toilets when out or in someone else's home. 

I really don't want to pass up this opportunity. It isn't just the volunteer work. There is someone I am close to and a number of years ago they stayed over at mine. But my anxiety was so bad it only lasted two visits. They have been visiting more recently even though I find it very difficult. I want to spend more time with them and perhaps challenge my fears. They know all about my difficulties and are understanding. Again it is my fear of contamination that is holding me back from getting closer and spending more time together.

I need to start testing things out.

 

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