I am getting worse

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

No you shouldn't just ask about one minor thing or make one last question, go against it now, or it won't happen. 

I am sorry but you can't relapse because you are already having severe OCD. Yoou really need to have your priorites in order here, overcomming OCD is your highest priority. 

Edited September 3, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[PolarBear]

7 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

 

Thank you everyone, it means a lot. It must be really frustrating to keep going over the same ground so again I'm sorry.

Can I just ask though, everyone else seems to just know that in certain situations it's their OCD, did everyone else struggle to believe it? Is that a 'thing' to not believe it so adamantly? For me I know I have it a little bit re checking and random panics about random things that last a few hours but others see as stupid or funny, but this seems like another level.

I know I have to do something about this but I'm scared it will mess the new career up. They made me see a psychiatrist and they basically portrayed it to me as anything reported within the next two years will be classed as relapse.

You did it again. Several people explained why it is OCD and you came back with, but, but, but. It's time for you to make a choice: stay stuck where you are and likely get worse, or just asdume we all know what we are talking about and get on the road to recovery. What's it going to be?

As for your job, what's more important, your job or your sanity?

[taurean]

I think it's a fair question to ask. 

Yes others do feel it's real, it feels so real to them and they struggle to believe it's OCD. 

But those that recover either :

take a leap of faith that it is OCD 

Accept that what we say is the truth not what their brain is telling them 

Go with the probability that it is OCD and work CBT therapy accordingly. 

Continuing to believe It - whatever it is - is true leaves them stuck, falling deeper into the rabbithole - stuck believing - and so strengthening - what the OCD says; stuck carrying out compulsions ; stuck suffering the resultant disorder. 

And all so unnecessary if they would only believe those in the know. 

[Headwreck]

Hi everyone.

Been making a conscious effort to stay off the forum and away from compulsively posting. Trying not to look up OCD stuff which is proving hard but will keep trying, hoping I'll have tomorrow where I read nothing OCD related. Then again the next day.

Have also been trying to apply the advice received here. I'm trying to ignore it all as much as I can and I'm doing some arty stuff for a colleague's wedding which is keeping me very busy though the evenings to the point where I'm not thinking about anything but what I'm doing which is such a relief for a few hours. I'm finding though that the more I don't think about it, the more I am asking myself "what if you think you did nothing but you really did" "what if you make yourself believe a lie" etc etc. Do I treat this in the same way? Just ignore? I guess so? It's so hard not to think about it in one way or another. How do I know that these are not valid questions? Or sometimes that horrible feeling will lift and I think maybe I'm innocent, then I start getting thoughts like "maybe you feel like you didn't do anything but you did really" again do I just keep ignoring? Will that sort of question stop?

Edited September 7, 2018 by Headwreck

[taurean]

If you leave the thoughts be, and don't give them meaning or carry out mental compulsions as a result of them, then they will lose power in due course. 

[PolarBear]

31 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

Hi everyone.

Been making a conscious effort to stay off the forum and away from compulsively posting. Trying not to look up OCD stuff which is proving hard but will keep trying, hoping I'll have tomorrow where I read nothing OCD related. Then again the next day.

Have also been trying to apply the advice received here. I'm trying to ignore it all as much as I can and I'm doing some arty stuff for a colleague's wedding which is keeping me very busy though the evenings to the point where I'm not thinking about anything but what I'm doing which is such a relief for a few hours. I'm finding though that the more I don't think about it, the more I am asking myself "what if you think you did nothing but you really did" "what if you make yourself believe a lie" etc etc. Do I treat this in the same way? Just ignore? I guess so? It's so hard not to think about it in one way or another. How do I know that these are not valid questions? Or sometimes that horrible feeling will lift and I think maybe I'm innocent, then I start getting thoughts like "maybe you feel like you didn't do anything but you did really" again do I just keep ignoring? Will that sort of question stop?

What you need to recognize is that those thoughts/questions are intrusive thoughts. They are obsessions. Their goal is to suck you back in. Don't get sucked in by them. Dismiss them as irrelevant and continue on.

[hedvig]

Great work Headwreck, just keep it up!

[Headwreck]

Thanks. I'm trying but doesn't seem to be getting much easier.