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I need help. Turning myself in.


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I've sexually abused my little sister, according to Google. This is what I've done:

-Touched her foot for sexual reasons (it aroused me, apparently) 

-Pressured my genitals in her presence even tho she didn't notice, to release tension

-Looked at her butt when she slightly pulled her pants down (not all the wait down, until her waist) and I looked inappropriately. 

I'm turning myself in, I can't stop crying 

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3 hours ago, lily17 said:

Soon I'll be in jail, don't worry @PolarBear

Have a nice time there. If and when you've had enough and decide you are going to take ownership of the problem and do something about it, start rereading the excellent advice you've been given in your many, many threads.

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I am not having a go at you, Lily.

I am just saying, why bother to tell us if you are really turning yourself in, to the authorities unless there is a part of you that wishes for some kind of reassurance to the contrary?

Come on, you should know better the reason the state you are in today, if not, why bother posting on an OCD forum? You could spare yourself alot of suffering if you just put in some effort into applying the advice and treatment tips you have been given by the forum and your therapist.

I mean, don't you want to recover, get better and lead a happy care-free life?

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4 hours ago, St Mike said:

I am not having a go at you, Lily.

I am just saying, why bother to tell us if you are really turning yourself in, to the authorities unless there is a part of you that wishes for some kind of reassurance to the contrary?

Come on, you should know better the reason the state you are in today, if not, why bother posting on an OCD forum? You could spare yourself alot of suffering if you just put in some effort into applying the advice and treatment tips you have been given by the forum and your therapist.

I mean, don't you want to recover, get better and lead a happy care-free life?

I don't deserve to recover and lead a happy care-free life. I've abused my little sister. I've sexually abused her. I don't deserve anything, only to die

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I really want to reassure you Lily- but it won't help. You'll feel temporarily better and then you'll be back for more reassurance.

The advice remains the same Lily- time for action. Stop ruminating, googling, searching the internet, seeking reassurance. You're feeding the beast when you act on these compulsions. Take a positive step... treat it like OCD. It can get better.

Edited by Binxy
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1 hour ago, Binxy said:

I really want to reassure you Lily- but it won't help. You'll feel temporarily better and then you'll be back for more reassurance.

The advice remains the same Lily- time for action. Stop ruminating, googling, searching the internet, seeking reassurance. You're feeding the beast when you act on these compulsions. Take a positive step... treat it like OCD. It can get better.

:goodpost:

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No one here is going to reassure you or say anything different from what was said before.

To post again as a compulsion will lead to the thread being possibly locked by the moderators.

I would also suggest you make an appointment to see your therapist. You may want to get a family member to accompany you and perhaps get advice on how they can assist when you suffer an OCD episode.

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I'm officially the worst monster ever. Yesterday I was typing on my sister's computer and she accidentally touched my finger and I said 'this is gonna be for sexual reasons' and I can't remember if I touched her finger back... And then the same happened when she touched me with her knee but that one was all about screwing myself over.... I want to die. I really do 

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Please Lily, you really can't continue to use the forum as a platform to repeatedly perform compulsions like this.

As has been said time and time again, you have to actually put into practice all the advice and support you've been given here, only you can do that and you can do it Lily:) Sit with the anxiety, allow it to fade away naturally and try to focus on something else. Yes it's difficult in the short term, very difficult...but you need to keep sight of the long term benefits.

You don't have to always feel this terrible, do the graft now, today...don't waste time...because I can guarantee if you don't change the way you're dealing with this, it's very likely you'll look back and regret not making those changes now.

You've got your whole life ahead of you, a great life that can be OCD free...fight for it.

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