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Ever since I read the types of child sexual abuse on the internet, I'm hyper aware of myself and I'm constantly worrying about abusing my sister. So yeah earlier I was crouched petting my dog and I noticed my cleavage was showing and my sister was in front of me so I was like 'omg I'm exposing my body' and I pulled up my t-shirt so she wouldn't see my breasts but then I pulled it down again so she would see my breasts apparently?! and I don't know why I did this but it was not to get sexual arousal or ANYTHING AT All like please believe me I wasn't doing an exhibition of my body to her and thank God she didn't see anything... 

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1 hour ago, lily17 said:

Desperation 

As we've discussed many times Lily, trying to make OCD feel better in the moment, by use of compulsions, will ensure that the desperation will continue now and in the future.

I know you're suffering, I know how afraid you feel but in order to improve how you feel, in order to start to get better you will have to change how you respond when these thoughts and doubts hit you. That advice remains and always will remain the same.  Whether you start today, in two years time, in ten years time you'll still have to use the same methods to start your recovery.  

That's why when you use the forum to carry out compulsions many of your threads are locked because it is damaging to you to allow them to continue.

You've had lot's of advice Lily, you have professional advice as well.  I urge you to take it and do your very best to use the suggestions.  It's hard I know but you have to make a decision to try and start the process.

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