How do you know if it's OCD?

[sufferer]

I posted earlier in the week as I had beaten OCD and was doing great until recently.

We recently found out that my daughter needs an operation - scheduled for the end of the month. Since finding out I have had a constant knot in my stomach and feel sick. I have a bad feeling about it and am struggling to know if it's OCD back to it's old tricks or some sort of intuition.

I keep thinking I'm seeing signs that we shouldn't go ahead (songs on the radio, ads on the TV, random comments from people) and this week a magpie pecked at our bedroom window which sent my mind spinning. I've got up at 6:30am every day since and watched him out of my window and he hasn't done it to anyone else.

I've spoken to my husband and parents who love my daughter as much as I do and are still happy to go ahead with surgery and say it's my ocd and anxiety, but what if they're wrong?

I was reasonably confident that it was ocd until I came across this on google...

 

"A premonition is a feeling that something bad will occur, whereas with an obsession there's a ritual to prevent it"

I don't have any rituals associated with this particular worry, and now I am petrified.

My anxiety is off the chart and sometimes I feel like my heart will just burst.

Please help me.

[sufferer]

Anyone? 

[sufferer]

The lack of replies is making me feel like it's maybe not ocd.

Please someone help me.

[Headwreck]

Hi Sufferer.

Sorry there haven't been many replies yet, you will probably find a lot of people will respond later in the day as most will be busy with day to day stuff, especially on the weekend.

I can't really give much in terms of advice as I'm in quite a bit of a mess myself but one thing I've seen people mention a lot is; if you're doubting it's OCD then it probably is.

I presume you have been through treatment in the past, do you have any workbooks, methods or notes you can refer to and implement in order to try and tackle this? Even if you don't think it's OCD then maybe try and treat it like it is first, see if it improves? Would you say that's a fair suggestion?

Edited September 16, 2018 by Headwreck

[sufferer]

Hi Headwreck

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time yourself - I hope things improve for you soon.

I know from experience that the way to beat it is to sit with the anxiety, but my issue is that what if this isn't anxiety, but a premonition? I know that sounds crazy.

[cookiemonster]

It’s only natural to be anxious about a child having surgery or anyone else you love. This level is your ocd though. You need to team up with your family and support each other through it. 

[snowbear]

9 hours ago, sufferer said:

I  don't have any rituals associated with this particular worry, and now I am petrified.

Hi sufferer,

First of all, you do have rituals associated with this - you're ruminating, you're looking for signs everywhere and you've fallen prey to magical thinking. These are your 'rituals'. 

Secondly, it's important to recognise that a 'premonition'  isn't any kind of prediction. Premonitions are feelings, they have no power to predict the future and they don't represent what will happen. A premonition represents only how you are feeling at the time. Your anxiety that something might go wrong has become a 'convincing feeling' that it will, all of which you've interpreted as 'intuition'.

Believing a 'premonition' (feelings) reflect the future is evidence of magical thinking, same s believing a magpie has any significance is magical thinking (superstition.) 

I'm sorry to hear your daughter needs an operation as nobody wants that for their child. But your husband and parents are right that this 'intuition' and 'premonition' is just your anxiety getting out of hand. Trust the judgement of those whose thinking is more rational and try to accept these thoughts and feelings for what they are - natural parental concern combined with a desire to be able to control something which is out of your hands. 

[sufferer]

Thanks cookiemonster and snowbear.

I beat ocd a few years back, it creeps back in every now and again. This is on a WHOLE new level though.

I'll try relabelling and refocussing - sitting with the anxiety is hard as I'm so anxious about it anyway, but I'll try that too.

Thanks x x

[dksea]

A good rule of thumb for OCD.  If you think it MIGHT be OCD, it probably is.  

[sufferer]

On 18/09/2018 at 03:05, dksea said:

A good rule of thumb for OCD.  If you think it MIGHT be OCD, it probably is.  

Thanks dksea 

[stanwee lee]

On 16/09/2018 at 10:46, sufferer said:

I posted earlier in the week as I had beaten OCD and was doing great until recently.

We recently found out that my daughter needs an operation - scheduled for the end of the month. Since finding out I have had a constant knot in my stomach and feel sick. I have a bad feeling about it and am struggling to know if it's OCD back to it's old tricks or some sort of intuition.

I keep thinking I'm seeing signs that we shouldn't go ahead (songs on the radio, ads on the TV, random comments from people) and this week a magpie pecked at our bedroom window which sent my mind spinning. I've got up at 6:30am every day since and watched him out of my window and he hasn't done it to anyone else.

I've spoken to my husband and parents who love my daughter as much as I do and are still happy to go ahead with surgery and say it's my ocd and anxiety, but what if they're wrong?

 

"A premonition is a feeling that something bad will occur, whereas with an obsession there's a ritual to prevent it"

I don't have any rituals associated with this particular worry, and now I am petrified.

My anxiety is off the chart and sometimes I feel like my heart will just burst.

Please help me.

Are you sure you don't have any rituals? Isn't ruminating about not having a ritual infact a ritual and is ocd? Are you really having a premonition or is it that your ocd that has convinced you that is what it is and that you are so fixated that you find signs all over the place that gives you this bad feeling, i believe that is something that ocd does.

I am no expert but maybe  it is you fearing over your daughter and her upcoming operation, it is understandable that you are worried and even more so with you suffering with ocd it will feel so much worse. 

[sufferer]

4 hours ago, stanwee lee said:

Are you sure you don't have any rituals? Isn't ruminating about not having a ritual infact a ritual and is ocd?

Apparently so, stanwee - It's not something I'd considered as a ritual before but it seems I was very wrong.

In fact, having revisited this site recently after many years of having my ocd 'under control' I have discovered that many of the things I have done/thought over the last few years are classed as ocd and rituals.

It wasn't as dormant as I thought it was 

[dksea]

7 hours ago, sufferer said:

In fact, having revisited this site recently after many years of having my ocd 'under control' I have discovered that many of the things I have done/thought over the last few years are classed as ocd and rituals.

 It wasn't as dormant as I thought it was 

We all have patterns and rituals in life, don’t get down on yourself about that!  The problem when it comes to OCD is the rituals reinforcing the obsessive anxiety. The rituals impede recovery and continue to trap us, they damage our quality of life.  If you had some minor rituals that weren’t doing that, your probably ok. 

It doesnt hurt to reflect on your behavior and consider if making some changes will be a positive step, that’s fine too. But if you felt your OCD was well controlled and you were happy, that sounds like a good thing and you should be proud 

[sufferer]

4 hours ago, dksea said:

 if you felt your OCD was well controlled and you were happy, that sounds like a good thing and you should be proud 

I did think I was doing well, but I'm not so sure now, but thank you for this - it has made me feel better 

[stanwee lee]

Glad to hear that you are starting to to feel better, it is great to feel supported and have people to talk to on here.

Like you, i had been fantastic for probably more than than the last 5 years or so and thought i had cracked this ocd thing as i was living a much happier and normal life. I felt better because  if i started to obsess about something for some reason it never lasted very long, i put it down to me finding the correct medication (sertraline) that worked best for me and i think it helped me to more easily dismiss my scary thoughts, even though i would have said i was 90% free of my ocd it was still there but i was coping so much better with it. I believe the more you educate yourself and the more you understand about ocd the more you can fight back and see it for what it is, that may be easy to say but not so easy to put into practice when  when ocd hits you hard you start to doubt and question and imagine everything.  Ocd can be a tough thing to live with but like you and myself we have both experienced what it is like to feel so much better and happier when it eases off even though we believed it would never end ,so there is no reason to believe we can't get to that stage again.

[sufferer]

15 hours ago, stanwee lee said:

Ocd can be a tough thing to live with but like you and myself we have both experienced what it is like to feel so much better and happier when it eases off even though we believed it would never end ,so there is no reason to believe we can't get to that stage again.

Let's hope we all get back to that soon - it's certainly a much happier place.