I think I've contracted Hiv.

[Snowflake]

Hi, I'm freaking out. 

I was using a tagging gun in work, it has a 2cm needle on it and I accidentally stabbed my finger. There is no blood, I have a tiny  a cut but I think that was already there, but I can't be sure. There was no visible blood on the needle. 

I think that if there was the hiv infection on the needle wouldn't it of died, but my anxiety is obviously telling me that even though there was no visible blood on the needle or my finger I still have hiv now. 

[PolarBear]

Keep on with your day, no Googling and watch your ruminating.

[Snowflake]

Okay I didn't reply because typing on this forum is part of my compulsions, I've tried to go with it.  I can't, I'm convinced I've got hiv. I'm close to getting a blood test. I can't think logical right now. I know you said no googling but I couldn't help it. I did last  two days before giving in to my compulsions. I don't know how long ago someone used it the tagging gun and who last got stabbed by it, or how long hiv last outside the body, or even if I had no visible cut would it still infect me. OMG I'm going to die. 

[Snowflake]

It's not the first time I've used one, I used on in  my two previous jobs and I got stabbed in both jobs. Okay my risk has just gone higher. 

[PolarBear]

You are your own worst enemy right now. This is all based on the ever-present OCD lie that said you were in danger. OCD always lies. It never tells the truth.

Keep doing compulsions and your situstion will get worse. More fear, more anxiety, more nasty thoughts. You have to stand up to the disorder and say enough!

[Snowflake]

Thank you. I was having a bad week in terms of ocd. After i got over my hiv intrusion, another one appeared. I'm feeling much better now. I know I can't keep believing everything I think. Its really hard when you can't think rationally, that's what I need to work on. 

Thanks for the help. I means  a lot x

[Emsie]

I’m so glad to hear that you are feeling much better now. 

2 hours ago, Snowflake said:

I know I can't keep believing everything I think. 

This really resonated with me, and it is the crux of the matter. Just because we think it, it doesn’t make it true.  This insight will really help you and it’s helped me, so thank you.