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The past day or two I've been feeling a little better, rumination hasn't been as heavy as usual. But I think it's because I know I have booked to see the Dr. It's as though the closer it gets, the more I think I'm okay so I don't need to go? Can anyone relate to this? How can I book a doctor's appointment and all of a sudden feel better after struggling for a year?

Edited by Headwreck
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It's probably a combination of  the relief of taking that step and doing it ; plus OCD at work trying to make you believe there is no need. 

Remember OCD lies and fabricates, tries to throw us off paths that threaten it. 

Don't ruminate about these feelings. Leave analysis alone. 

When you see the doctor, take him or her through how you have been feeling - not just how you think you feel now. 

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13 minutes ago, taurean said:

It's probably a combination of  the relief of taking that step and doing it ; plus OCD at work trying to make you believe there is no need. 

Remember OCD lies and fabricates, tries to throw us off paths that threaten it. 

Don't ruminate about these feelings. Leave analysis alone. 

When you see the doctor, take him or her through how you have been feeling - not just how you think you feel now. 

Thanks, you are right, how I feel right now is not important it's how I have felt for the past X amount of years. I think it's distraction because now I'm worried that the drs appointment is going to ruin my future.

Can't help but think that this ten minute doctors appointment is going to destroy my future so considering no showing or lying when I get there. I'm really not sure what to say to him.

Edited by Headwreck
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34 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

Thanks, you are right, how I feel right now is not important it's how I have felt for the past X amount of years. I think it's distraction because now I'm worried that the drs appointment is going to ruin my future.

Can't help but think that this ten minute doctors appointment is going to destroy my future so considering no showing or lying when I get there. I'm really not sure what to say to him.

More OCD at work here Headwreck. 

And a golden rule is to be open and honest with healthcare professionals - they cannot help us if they don't know truthfully what we are experiencing. 

A visit to the doctors to seek some help is a bonus, an asset to seek to help us - not something to run away from, or not be honest in. 

As I said earlier, when the illness is threatened it plays dirty - seeks to eradicate that threat. It isn't an entity - it's a mental illness playing on distorted thinking. 

Edited by taurean
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I think you should still attend the appointment Headwreck, you need to start on the road to recovery and this is your first step. be truthful, write a few bullet points down if you need to. Mention your OCD from childhood and the issues more recently.  The doctor can't help if they don't fully understand. 

Hope all goes well. 

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I'm just really worried that the Dr is going to get angry because last time he said to me quite abruptly that I always go and then never come back. I think he might think I'm just lying. I do always go and not go back because I end up telling myself I can sort myself out or things improve briefly and I think I can fix it all on my own but then it just gets worse again.

Edited by Headwreck
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I think this is a well known phenomenon, even with physical illness Headwreck. I know that as a child when I had raging tonsillitis or a nasty ear infection I would always feel miraculously better the second I got to the GP practice even though I'd then be told that the infection was quite bad and be given antibiotics! 

OCD plays on doubt so just try to distract yourself and write a list of things you need to discuss. 

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Thanks everyone. I took all of the good advice here and went and didn't lie.

The dr has given me 50mg Sertraline and I have to go back and see him in 4 weeks, he said I may feel a little better by then with the medication as thoughts will be dampened. He advised I go for private therapy as the waiting list for NHS is extremely long. But couldn't give any recommendations. He agreed when I said so many people say they specialise in OCD and CBT when in actual fact they don't at all. I'm not sure what to do about the therapy now as it's impossible to find anyone.

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7 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

I'm not sure what to do about the therapy now as it's impossible to find anyone.

Go to the OCD-UK main website Headwreck and check out how to find a private therapist. 

If you are willing to share the area where you live via another topic, someone online may be able to help. 

I can regarding central London, where I had my CBT. 

We live in retirement now in Northampton. 

 

Edited by taurean
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5 hours ago, Headwreck said:

Thanks everyone. I took all of the good advice here and went and didn't lie.

The dr has given me 50mg Sertraline and I have to go back and see him in 4 weeks, he said I may feel a little better by then with the medication as thoughts will be dampened. He advised I go for private therapy as the waiting list for NHS is extremely long. But couldn't give any recommendations. He agreed when I said so many people say they specialise in OCD and CBT when in actual fact they don't at all. I'm not sure what to do about the therapy now as it's impossible to find anyone.

Congratulations on taking this very important step.  You should be really proud!  You stared down the OCD doubts and won.  You now know it’s possible to win those battles, never forget that! :thumbup:

Now, that doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again, don’t worry (heh), you don’t have to be perfect.  But every time you win a battle against OCD it’s one more step forward on your road to recovery.

I hope you are able to get some help from a therapist soon, but in the meantime there are some very helpful self-guided books (check the OCD-UK site) that are worth checking out.  And definitely give the medication a chance to get working.  

Keep up the good work and take some time to feel good about yourself!

 

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7 hours ago, taurean said:

Go to the OCD-UK main website Headwreck and check out how to find a private therapist. 

If you are willing to share the area where you live via another topic, someone online may be able to help. 

I can regarding central London, where I had my CBT. 

We live in retirement now in Northampton. 

 

Thank you, I'm going to try having a look on the website and start looking actively for a new therapist to go alongside the medication. There was one therapist mentioned on here in my area and I went to him twice but I didn't think he was suited, as he said he didn't believe in traditional CBT and moreso for OCD. He practiced some kind of forward thinking CBT hybrid I've never heard of. I didn't see much point in continuing after I was told I had to simply think positive in order to get better.

1 hour ago, dksea said:

Congratulations on taking this very important step.  You should be really proud!  You stared down the OCD doubts and won.  You now know it’s possible to win those battles, never forget that! :thumbup:

Now, that doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again, don’t worry (heh), you don’t have to be perfect.  But every time you win a battle against OCD it’s one more step forward on your road to recovery.

I hope you are able to get some help from a therapist soon, but in the meantime there are some very helpful self-guided books (check the OCD-UK site) that are worth checking out.  And definitely give the medication a chance to get working.  

Keep up the good work and take some time to feel good about yourself!

 

Thanks dksea, it took a lot and was a nervous wreck in the waiting room. Felt ok afterwards, certainly weight lifted and hopeful about taking the medication although know not to expect miracles. Just hoping it will take the edge off. One thing though, the Dr didn't seem to even question the OCD he just took it as red when I said what it was, should he have questioned it? He also looked at me weird when I told him about the new job I might start soon, I think he doesn't think it's a good idea, can he say that?

Panic stations have set in once again since anyway but just trying to sit here and get on with it.

Will start medication tomorrow morning, apparently should see improvement two weeks in but full effect by week 8. Will have a look at some self help in the meantime while I look at therapy (bit worried about how I'm going to afford it).

Even though I have possibly put my future career at  risk I'm still really not convinced it's OCD but do I just continue what I'm doing with regards to treatment plans anyway? Medication, self help etc? Is that what everyone does? Do most people feel as though they are faking it?

Thanks for all of the support everyone. 

 

Edited by Headwreck
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Hi Headwreck,

I am glad to see you have taken the first steps towards getting your OCD treated. I would like to chime in to give my support and encouragement. I don't have much time to drop comments nowadays because I am on a roster as a part-time caregiver for a close relation who recently suffered an OCD episode and had to brought back to the psychiatrist's office for medication which thankfully has brought the anxiety down.

16 minutes ago, Headwreck said:

do I just continue what I'm doing with regards to treatment plans anyway? Medication, self help etc? Is that what everyone does?

Yes. You may want to add diligence to the mix. Changes have got to made and you have to stick to them for them to take effect.

Take care and hang in there,

Mike

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Hi Headwreck, 

You will find in the advice on the website it recommends we question a potential therapist in advance regarding their experience in treating OCD. 

You did right to end that previous therapy. Therapy in OCD needs CBT at its core. 

Re the doubt, don't listen to what your mind is telling you - that's the key. You carry on treating it as if it is OCD. We here know so, but OCD sows doubt at every which way, and that's why you experience it. 

You are doing really well. You are "listening to WE not the OCD"  and I commend you for that. Keep on doing that.

Roy 

Edited by taurean
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46 minutes ago, St Mike said:

Hi Headwreck,

I am glad to see you have taken the first steps towards getting your OCD treated. I would like to chime in to give my support and encouragement. I don't have much time to drop comments nowadays because I am on a roster as a part-time caregiver for a close relation who recently suffered an OCD episode and had to brought back to the psychiatrist's office for medication which thankfully has brought the anxiety down.

Yes. You may want to add diligence to the mix. Changes have got to made and you have to stick to them for them to take effect.

Take care and hang in there,

Mike

Thanks so much Mike, that's really thoughtful and appreciate all your support. Hope you are well and your family member starts to feel on more of an even keel again soon.

36 minutes ago, taurean said:

Hi Headwreck, 

You will find in the advice on the website it recommends we question a potential therapist in advance regarding their experience in treating OCD. 

You did right to end that previous therapy. Therapy in OCD needs CBT at its core. 

Re the doubt, don't listen to what your mind is telling you - that's the key. You carry on treating it as if it is OCD. We here know so, but OCD sows doubt at every which way, and that's why you experience it. 

You are doing really well. You are "listening to WE not the OCD"  and I commend you for that. Keep on doing that.

Roy 

Thanks so much Roy for the kind words. I'm really hoping the Sertraline helps with the awful low moods, maybe once they subside then I can start making progress. It's only a low dose but we'll see. Hoping this time next year I can look back on all of this, chalk it up as experience I've learned from and give back to the forum all the great support it has offered me and others.

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Weee, so glad you went for the appointment! This makes me really happy to hear! Be proud of yourself for taking this important step forward. Take care of yourself now and good luck, hope you’ll feel the meds kicking in soon and that it’ll contribute to your recovery!

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1 hour ago, hedvig said:

Weee, so glad you went for the appointment! This makes me really happy to hear! Be proud of yourself for taking this important step forward. Take care of yourself now and good luck, hope you’ll feel the meds kicking in soon and that it’ll contribute to your recovery!

Ditto to what lovely hedvig has said. Rooting for you. X

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Thanks so much Hedvig and Emsie. Hope you are both doing well? :)

I had my first tablet today. Last time I took this stuff must have been about 4 years ago and only did a month of it. I have been reading up about it and I'm really scared about side effects, weight gain, cystic acne, worsening of anxiety to the point where it's unbearable. I have a headache, nausea and ears are ringing at the moment but can deal with that as long as not permanent.

Has anyone experienced these sorts of things? 

Also I've read about people saying it's great for OCD, social anxiety, depression and works really well for them but years down the line will just stop working? I'm hoping it helps me with my social anxiety as a side so I'm not so scared to talk and awkward around people but I don't want to become reliant on this if it is going to stop working and then I'm left out on a limb.

I always read up on things, OCD compulsion? I don't know, I don't think so. But I have to know the ins and outs about everything. So now reading up a lot about this medication.

Edited by Headwreck
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Hi Headwreck, 

I’m so pleased for you, after reading this thread today! :) 

I googled loads and asked on here before taking my Sertraline, and nearly didn’t take it. For me it has helped so much! 

As you probably know meds effect everyone differently, so whatever anyone else goes through, does not mean you will. 

I had a few headaches at first, felt sick at times and experienced a little tiredness. To be honest though I wonder if that was me ‘looking’ for symptoms first of all. I have put on a bit of weight, but again it may be my age (they say apparently, that your body and metabolism can change at 40ish) or it may be that I actually relax more now, the amount of anxious energy I had before must have worn my body down at times!! Despite that though I have no intention of coming off of my tablets. It’s so nice to actually enjoy my days now :)

Well done and stay positive! You really can do this! X

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14 minutes ago, Dragonfly said:

Hi Headwreck, 

I’m so pleased for you, after reading this thread today! :) 

I googled loads and asked on here before taking my Sertraline, and nearly didn’t take it. For me it has helped so much! 

As you probably know meds effect everyone differently, so whatever anyone else goes through, does not mean you will. 

I had a few headaches at first, felt sick at times and experienced a little tiredness. To be honest though I wonder if that was me ‘looking’ for symptoms first of all. I have put on a bit of weight, but again it may be my age (they say apparently, that your body and metabolism can change at 40ish) or it may be that I actually relax more now, the amount of anxious energy I had before must have worn my body down at times!! Despite that though I have no intention of coming off of my tablets. It’s so nice to actually enjoy my days now :)

Well done and stay positive! You really can do this! X

Thanks Dragonfly. It's only been you guys on here that have made me realise that I should have gone long ago or I'd probably not have bothered at all so can only thank you all for being persistent.

What dose are you on if you don't mind me asking? And did you find that the tiredness, etc. faded eventually? I'm already constantly exhausted and have been for years, I think due to depression and obviously the constant thinking, so if these are going to make me even more tired then that's going to be interesting :rolleyes:

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I’m on 50mg, and have been now for about 8 months I think. You need to give it time to take effect too. 

I really worried about being tired, as I have two children. The thought of being more tired filled me with dread! 

For me it all has subsided though. I still have tired days, but who doesn’t and I’ve always been the type of person who ideally needs to be asleep by 10.30pm, any later I will be a bit tired as we’re usually up quite early too. Pretty sure it was all fine after a few weeks though. What I’ve found is though is that if I do get tired I don’t get down like I used to before meds, and the anxiety really has subsided quite a lot. The other thing I’ve found is that if I am feeling anxious and want to check or ruminate, I now can wait more for the anxiety to subside, and as a result then can see the wood from the trees so to speak, and I get clarity. For me the meds have really helped me use my CBT more too, whereas before I’d give up.

Something else actually too while I think of it, which you may already know but I didn’t, make sure you take your tablet with plenty of water. When I’d been rushing some mornings I just swallowed my tablet on its own quickly, and as a result got the worst heartburn ever, it lasted almost all day. I then found out you must take it with water x

 

Edited by Dragonfly
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I'm so glad that they are working so well for you, it must be such a relief and must be like night and day by the sounds of it. Do you think you'll stay on them or increase dosage?

Hopefully not too much information here and sorry in advance but the upset stomach, am I able to take over the counter medication alongside this to stop the interruptions? Work are going to notice as I barely leave my desk usually. :blush:

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They really have helped me so very much! 

At the moment I have no intention at all of coming off of them. If I have to increase my dosage at some point I will too. But, if it’s a choice between how I was feeling before meds to how I feel now, then it’s a no brainier! 

I was never actually sick on them, or had an upset tummy. It was more just felt sick at times. The headaches were more frequent at first than feeling sick, but paracetamol helped with them.  It really was only for a couple of weeks though. If you do get an upset tummy speak to the pharmacist. 

Whilst your on them at first, I would just really look after yourself ie make sure you eat regularly, get a good nights sleep etc. I did get bad dreams at first too, and would literally wake up in the night panicky at times - that may have been why I was tired too!! But again this went after a little while. I think it’s just your body adjusting x

 

 

 

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