So much anger

[Orwell1984]

I am reliving the slights, gossips, slander and defamation against me by people at the office I worked in for the past year. I am so angry and want revenge.  Closure would be better but how do you get over collusion, bullying by management and HR as well as employees who joined the pack

My skin more often than not is prickling with anger and I have palpitations and migraines. If voodoo dolls worked I'd have an army of them by now

[snowbear]

15 hours ago, Orwell1984 said:

how do you get over collusion, bullying by management and HR as well as employees who joined the pack

You won't like my answer, Orwell, but I would be doing you a disservice not to say it.

You get over it by letting it go. 

I know it feels like 'righteous' anger, that you feel totally justified in being angry, that you feel you are in the right and they were in the wrong. That may be true, but thinking like that only fuels the anger and damages your physical and mental health. Thinking like that doesn't change the past, doesn't make them change, doesn't bring justice - and it never will. 

So you have to make a decision. How long are you going to hold onto this position of 'being right' and staying angry? 

A day, a year, a lifetime? You can hold onto it as long as you want. Feel like this to your dying day if you choose. But what a waste of your life.  

Or you can choose to let it go. Choose to move on.

How? Change how you think about it.

Instead of thinking, 'Letting it go means letting them get away with it'   change the meaning you put on it. 'Letting it go means I can be happy and well again.'  

It takes a bit of work and determination not to keep punishing yourself with anger (in lieu of being able to punish them) but with perseverance you will get there. Like forgiveness, letting go of anger is about YOU, not them. It's about choosing how you want to feel.

It's a mindset; nothing to do with justice, nothing to do with 'letting them off the hook'. Just an uncomplicated choice of how you want to think about it and the meaning you choose to give it. 

 

[Orwell1984]

Hi Snowbear. The overcoming of righteous anger is one of those nuts I've been unable to crack so far in life. I'll work on it the way you suggested. Thanks.

[Angst]

When I worked I too at times felt anger. The trouble is that if you act in anger then the result is often counterproductive. I learnt this in a hard way. Spend this weekend being active and switch your attention from work. Are you seeing a therapist at the moment? For a period of time while I was working I was seeing a therapist which was helpful because he was an expert in occupational stress. We discussed strategies to reduce stress and helped me negotiate a ‘reasonable adjustnent’ at work which helped me a lot.