Jump to content

False ocd thoughts urge to throw clothes away


Guest Phil10

Recommended Posts

15 hours ago, Phil10 said:

And yes I said before the doctor refused me CBT told me try YouTube and the private theripst I was seeing won’t see me anymore as I said I was going to look at the nhs route. So that leaves me with no help only option is another expensive private theripst and the hassle of finding one.

I don't have any experience with the UK health system, but it might be worth looking at the resources on this site and reaching out to the OCD-UK team to see if they can help you with the treatment angle. While YouTube videos might offer some help in understanding techniques and the lot I don't think they are a substitute for qualified therapy.    

Link to comment
  • Replies 513
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Yes I did another compulsion by getting rid of the new iron board. I sold it as I was too scared to return it incase it contaminated the shop. I carefully carried it downstairs but afterwords I worried I had contaminated my floor with it. The reason is I had a thought when I took it upstairs i put it in bathroom next to dirty washing hence why I got rid of it. The anxiety was too great to keep it but sadly by even getting rid of it the anxiety still comes. My mind feels trapped or should I say the ocd wants to trap my mind into whatever I do it remains dirty. This has been a pattern of late I know if I buy a new iron board I will Instantly think it’s dirty. An area I improved on was not taking two towels but past few days I’ve went back to taking more than one as I had a thought I would contaminate the sofa. I believe the ocd aim here is for everywhere to feel dirty. 

I go back to what I said before it’s even more difficult as the thoughts are false I have never went into a bathroom with anything I purchased but my head went on the journey to get rid of the item only to find even removing that item causes me anxiety due to the false thought .

Link to comment
1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

So what do you think you should do?

Well you probably think I should ignore the thought but sometimes it’s difficult when it pops back up. I keep trying to remind myself it was a false thought and nothing is dirty. I got rid of the iron board so my mind moved into the worrying about the floor. Is it possible to not worry about anything? 

Link to comment
On 28/11/2018 at 09:10, Phil10 said:

And yes I said before the doctor refused me CBT told me try YouTube and the private theripst I was seeing won’t see me anymore as I said I was going to look at the nhs route. So that leaves me with no help only option is another expensive private theripst and the hassle of finding one.

You shouldn't have had to go privately Phil. Under NICE guidelines your GP really should have referred you for CBT.

I'd think about bypassing them altogether and make a referral yourself via the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies service. Ashley put together this map....

https://www.ocduk.org/iapt-database/

....if you track down the provider closest to you just give them a call, and they'll sort out a telephone assessment. I really think it's worth doing.

Link to comment
20 minutes ago, Hal said:

You shouldn't have had to go privately Phil. Under NICE guidelines your GP really should have referred you for CBT.

I'd think about bypassing them altogether and make a referral yourself via the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies service. Ashley put together this map....

https://www.ocduk.org/iapt-database/

....if you track down the provider closest to you just give them a call, and they'll sort out a telephone assessment. I really think it's worth doing.

Thanks but the link above doesn’t seem to cover Scotland 

Link to comment

Sorry about that, I'm on my mobile which doesn't display the flag/location icon:headslap:

Annoyingly the IAPT service doesn't cover Scotland, your only option will be through a GP again. The one you've already seen sounds about as much help as a chocolate teapot, you might be better off having a word with another in the same practice who'll hopefully be much more proactive and supportive. 

This link goes into more detail about accessing treatment in Scotland:

https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/scotland/

Link to comment
On 30/11/2018 at 08:52, Phil10 said:

Well you probably think I should ignore the thought but sometimes it’s difficult when it pops back up. I keep trying to remind myself it was a false thought and nothing is dirty. I got rid of the iron board so my mind moved into the worrying about the floor. Is it possible to not worry about anything? 

Absolutely its challenging when an unwanted thought gets stuck in your head, I mean thats what sucks about OCD after all, the difficulty it causes.  

But yes, it is possible to get to a point where the situations and thoughts that bother you now don't bother you so much (if at all).  I'll use my own experience as an example.  My initial, primary, OCD intrusive thought was about being sick to my stomach, particularly in public.  Transportation was especially difficult for me because of the possibility of motion sickness AND because I felt more trapped.  I hated riding busses and planes, i would become very anxious doing so.  I always sat near the front of the bus (easier to get off, closer to the drivers garbage can) or on the aisles of planes (easier to get to the toilet).  Just taking the bus across town was a highly anxious thing for me.  But I am happy to say that now I am past that point.  It took time and effort, probably longer than it needed to because I was able to avoid that kind of travel for the most part when I was younger, but I got to the point where now I barely even think about my previous fear when riding transportation, and when I do it doesn't particularly bother me.  For the past 11 months I would ride a crowded train too and from work every day here in Tokyo.  I don't even have a car here, whenever I need to go somewhere, its by train or bus.  I fly a few times a year too, including a 10 hour trans-pacific flight to visit my family at the holidays.  If you had told my younger self that would happen someday I'd have laughed!  No way could that happen, not when I feel how I do about even getting on a bus once in a while!  But over time, with the help of medication and therapy I got my OCD under control.  And what you have to understand is I'm no super-hero about it either.  I am lazy, I procrastinate, I made a lot of mistakes a long the way.  I didn't even really dive deep in to the CBT until about 10 years in to my OCD journey.  Point being, my story isn't 1 in a million, its in many ways fairly typical for OCD sufferers.  Recovery isn't a long shot, many many many people do the work and come out the other side better for it, and you can too.  I wish it could be quick and easy, I wish it had been for me, I wish it was for you now, but just because it doesn't happen right away doesn't mean it won't happen.  Better to work towards that goal than remain stuck!

Link to comment

I still have the irons so not sure what I should do about them? I’m still using the old iron

Some washing was out in the rain and I worried about the cleanliness of the washing as it was very heavy rain

How can I stop worrying about dirty washing? When I was at my parents she had a bag of clothes she was washing for someone else and happily put the bag in a cupboard with my ocd I can’t do that but I’m guessing this is because I have ocd about dirty washing? 

How can I get over the fear of dirty washing? 

Link to comment

My ocd makes me want to believe every item of clothing I wear is dirty as I always have these thoughts and urge to change clothes. How can I control this better? 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Phil10 said:

How can I stop worrying about dirty washing? When I was at my parents she had a bag of clothes she was washing for someone else and happily put the bag in a cupboard with my ocd I can’t do that but I’m guessing this is because I have ocd about dirty washing? 

How can I get over the fear of dirty washing? 

You take it one day at a time, apply the principles of CBT and work on getting better at it.  I know you want to feel better right now, thats 100% understandable, but the reality is its going to take time and work, just like you don't go from couch potato to star athlete overnight.

I recommend looking up the Four Steps method from the book Brain Lock by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, its a straight forward cognitive behavioral method to help you start challenging your OCD thoughts.  There's also great resources on this site for how to get started.  You might also want to re-read this thread as a number of times people have given you advice on what you can do, one of which is to stop the replacing obviously, but also that you don't need to explain every situation where you feel the anxiety, thats a reassurance/confession compulsion at work.  We all understand what your anxiety is, the details of each specific instance, while understandbly frustrating for you, don't change the advice or your path forward.  

Finally, look at the information Hal provided above about getting help where you are.  Make a plan and take steps towards that goal.

Link to comment

Hi Phil10. A week ago or so I urged you to contact OCD UK. Hal has now provided much needed information. Your psychiatrist would not refer you for CBT on two occasions, so you need to go through your GP.

You have two diagnosed mental health conditions: one of these conditions stops you from taking SSRIs because of the prescribed drugs you take for this other condition. 

I wondered if one of your conditions meant that therapy was counterindicated in your case. But your psychiatrist was willing for you to pay for private therapy. 

I think Hal’s proposal is a good idea. I also recommend, again, that you get an advocate especially if you have problems getting access to therapy via your GP

 

Link to comment

Yes I mean lately I have worried about clean washing for example my bucket for cleaning was next to a crate I use to put clean washing in and I worried my windows would become tainted and also the washing being outside getting wet I worried it would also be tainted? It seems my ocd is wide ranging and is constantly looking for reasons to worry about clothing. I don’t get why my ocd is totally focused on one issue right now? 

Problem with ocd is not everybody has the same worries as me so sometimes books can be a bit basic and not related to my particular worry but I can certainly look at a few again 

Link to comment

You have been given LOTS of great advice on here Phil (12 pages!) and don’t seem to be taking it in, you keep going over the same things and asking the same questions. Take a leap of faith and 100% commit to beating this, you can do it. ?

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Phil10 said:

Problem with ocd is not everybody has the same worries as me so sometimes books can be a bit basic and not related to my particular worry but I can certainly look at a few again 

You don't need to have the same particular worry as someone else to be able to use the techniques in these books.  The worries are merely examples, the techniques are the same regardless of what your particular worry is.   You can read a book where they use the example of compulsive hand washing or compulsive checking and it will still apply to your compulsion to replace.

 

12 hours ago, Phil10 said:

I don’t get why my ocd is totally focused on one issue right now? 

You don't need to "get" this.  The reality is your OCD is what it is.  The first steps to treating it don't require you to understand why this particular anxiety is your focus, it may never be necessary to know why this is your focus.  The important thing is to start doing the work to get better.

Link to comment

I had another big contamination issue tonight

 My partner done a wash and there was clean washing on the radiator so I had to rewash these clothes and worry about having to replace the radiator.

I know you will say my ocd is lying but for me it’s a genuine worry. I mean I don’t worry if she goes near the heater when there is no clothes it’s barely the thought that the washing isn’t clean or the thought the washing if kept on heater would have contaminated my sofa and drawers and anywhere I worn these items. 

I feel my world is being hoovered up and I feel like the last house eventually lots of Areas become “forever contaminated”. Like I say it’s mostly dirty laundry that is worrying me right now so perhaps someone can reassure me that perhaps they do things differently in there house.

For me dirty washing near clean washing causes me too much stess. Yes I mean I can name times when I got changed in my bedroom and there was clean washing around and it only caused me mild anxiety.

The laundry on the heater issue happened in my old house I can’t remember much of what I done other than I would move it when doing a dirty wash so I’m guessing this happened in the past and I kept using the heater. This time I’m not overly keen on using the heater I mean yes it’s rash as when I use a suitcase it carry’s both clean and dirty washing so it does contradict but it seems my ocd just doesn’t like some stuff and wants to believe there is a danger or anxiety to be had.

I worry about these issues forever more and don’t forget that’s the issue I can pin point 1,2,3,4,5..ect areas of my home where I believe a handle, an area of floor or whatever is tainted I don’t know how I can get out of that thinking. I mean it must happen to everybody whether it be a leak or something in there house that gets spoiled or dirty and they have to live with it for someone without ocd it’s not forever contaminated but for me this kind of ocd I cant live with and I moved house partly due to it. My reaction is to avoid it but this seems typical of ocd from what I have been reading 

Link to comment

It worries me the stuff I believe is tainted will never go away and these areas will always trouble me I wish I could get over that however even when my ocd is mild I find it difficult when I think something is forever contaminated

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Phil10 said:

I know you will say my ocd is lying but for me it’s a genuine worry.

You feel anxiety, that feeling is real.  But OCD is lying to you as well, the thing you fear, the underlying source of the anxiety is not real.

Consider the following example:
You are walking in the forest one evening, enjoying the fresh air.  Suddenly you hear a noise in the bushes nearby.  "Wait, didn't I hear something about a bear in the area?"  Suddenly your body starts to respond to this new worry "What if there's a bear!"  You feel anxiety, you start wondering whether you can run or hide.  Your anxiety keeps climbing and climbing.  Then, out from the bush hops a rabbit.  There never was a bear,  just a rabbit, no big deal.  Emotions and physical response you had were real.  You felt afraid, your heart started racing, the anxiety was real.  But the THREAT was not real.  You were never in actual danger.  No matter how real your anxiety was, no matter how scared you felt, the reality was there was no actual threat.  Of course you didn't know that at the time, but as soon as you did you started to relax, you stopped feeling the anxiety, you calmed down.

Similarly the anxiety you feel now is real.  The emotion is real, the physical sensations of anxiety are real.  But the threat is a lie.  There IS no threat of "contamination".  That is a lie you continue to believe because you are making a fundamental mistake that most ODC sufferers do before they begin recovery.  You are equating the emotion of anxiety with the fear being true.  Essentially you are telling yourself "This must be a real problem because if it wasn't I wouldn't worry".  The reality is that just because you worry does NOT mean something is a real threat.  These two things are not connected.  You can feel zero fear about one thing and it can end up being a problem and you can be completely afraid of another things and live your whole life without it ever happening.  Maybe you are afraid of poisonous snakes.  Ok, thats pretty reasonable.  But just because you have that fear does not mean snakes are actually a threat to you.  You could live somewhere without any poisonous snakes.  You will probably live your entire life without ever needing to worry about a poisonous snake.  Meanwhile you might not fear, say a bookshelf, but lo and behold, someday there is an earthquake in Scotland, that bookshelf falls on you and you break your arm.

You need to start challenging this false belief that your clothes (or other things) are "contaminated" and that being "contaminated" is a problem.  Its not.  It does not matter whether or not dirty clothes touched your radiator.  You might feel anxiety at the thought of dirty clothes touching your radiator, and the anxiety you feel will be real, but the reason  you feel it is a lie.  Its a bunny rabbit not a bear.  We keep telling you its just a bunny.  We show you pictures of the bunny.  We show you video of the bunny.  You keep coming back and telling us "but i'm feeling anxiety, so it MUST be a bear!".  You need to break that connection.  You need to accept that there is no bear, just a bunny.  There is no "contamination" just OCD.

Link to comment
On 05/12/2018 at 04:27, dksea said:

You feel anxiety, that feeling is real.  But OCD is lying to you as well, the thing you fear, the underlying source of the anxiety is not real.

Consider the following example:
You are walking in the forest one evening, enjoying the fresh air.  Suddenly you hear a noise in the bushes nearby.  "Wait, didn't I hear something about a bear in the area?"  Suddenly your body starts to respond to this new worry "What if there's a bear!"  You feel anxiety, you start wondering whether you can run or hide.  Your anxiety keeps climbing and climbing.  Then, out from the bush hops a rabbit.  There never was a bear,  just a rabbit, no big deal.  Emotions and physical response you had were real.  You felt afraid, your heart started racing, the anxiety was real.  But the THREAT was not real.  You were never in actual danger.  No matter how real your anxiety was, no matter how scared you felt, the reality was there was no actual threat.  Of course you didn't know that at the time, but as soon as you did you started to relax, you stopped feeling the anxiety, you calmed down.

Similarly the anxiety you feel now is real.  The emotion is real, the physical sensations of anxiety are real.  But the threat is a lie.  There IS no threat of "contamination".  That is a lie you continue to believe because you are making a fundamental mistake that most ODC sufferers do before they begin recovery.  You are equating the emotion of anxiety with the fear being true.  Essentially you are telling yourself "This must be a real problem because if it wasn't I wouldn't worry".  The reality is that just because you worry does NOT mean something is a real threat.  These two things are not connected.  You can feel zero fear about one thing and it can end up being a problem and you can be completely afraid of another things and live your whole life without it ever happening.  Maybe you are afraid of poisonous snakes.  Ok, thats pretty reasonable.  But just because you have that fear does not mean snakes are actually a threat to you.  You could live somewhere without any poisonous snakes.  You will probably live your entire life without ever needing to worry about a poisonous snake.  Meanwhile you might not fear, say a bookshelf, but lo and behold, someday there is an earthquake in Scotland, that bookshelf falls on you and you break your arm.

You need to start challenging this false belief that your clothes (or other things) are "contaminated" and that being "contaminated" is a problem.  Its not.  It does not matter whether or not dirty clothes touched your radiator.  You might feel anxiety at the thought of dirty clothes touching your radiator, and the anxiety you feel will be real, but the reason  you feel it is a lie.  Its a bunny rabbit not a bear.  We keep telling you its just a bunny.  We show you pictures of the bunny.  We show you video of the bunny.  You keep coming back and telling us "but i'm feeling anxiety, so it MUST be a bear!".  You need to break that connection.  You need to accept that there is no bear, just a bunny.  There is no "contamination" just OCD.

Yes it’s very difficult my anxiety so far has told me:

1. I need to move house 

2. I need to replace the radiator

3. It will take me a long time to accept the radiator like it did with the door

im guessing I should I be aiming for number 3 to live with it but I find it hard like a suitcase has dirty washing plus clean yet I don’t worry yet this even if it touched the radiator would create a similar surface of so called germs yet I don’t feel or think like that? Is that something I can change or challenge because so often I have these contradictory situations and my head focuses on certain issues. Logically it makes no sense when another example is my bed I take my clothes off to change put them on the bed they are dirty yet my partner puts clean washing in the same spot without any worry from me. 

Thus is where I don’t get my ocd it all seems unnecessary to worry like this. It I feel absolutely awful and think about stuff being “ruined”?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Hi Phil 

Not meaning to sound harsh but rather than asking the same questions maybe it might be helpful to you to look back over some of the advice you've been given in this thread? 

Well yes but I feel my life’s is doomed and I need to move house due to stuff being ruined?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...