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Phil10

False ocd thoughts urge to throw clothes away

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7 hours ago, PolarBear said:

There is another way. You can go against the thoughts and start using all this stuff.

You are correct there is

The anxiety is mostly about the iron boards and also my stag night I bought stuff for it and worry it’s dirty and can contaminate the pub. 

I “may” use the items I may replace im on the fence right now.

I feel fine at work but like right now the way I think that my mind is controlled by god I don’t even know if I will make the choice I believe some entity will.

Good news is I have therapy on Monday and I can explain all this to her 

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So like i say my ocd is very select I touched the hoover phone and handle and floor mop when I had a thought I put my hand down a toilet yet my head only fancies replacing the floor mop?

Also I can’t get the idea out my head that somebody or a god isn’t controlling my thoughts and that I am really me and life isn’t preplanned?

Anyway I have theapry tomorrow after a 3 month break not too optimistic but I have plenty to discuss. 

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So I replaced the rucksack sadly my relief was short lived as my partner went near the bin on the train with the shopping bag and new rucksack. This is the issue at the moment doing compulsions have failed. I was tempted to return the bag but so far resisted the urge..

The iron board issue hasn’t gone away I’m still using the old one determined to still buy a new one however after taking two back and 3 irons my relief may be short lived. 

I have spoke to my theripst about it and also read books there doesn’t seem to be much information on compulsions failing and this is very new to me in past few months. I can only assume as my ocd is that bad it’s not working?

So yeah I’m looking for this rucksack to be perfect but like the iron boards I’m going through too many and in the end I just need a rucksack for the job so I can’t keep replacing?

Edited by Phil10

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Also I left the house with a whole list of ocd today..

Did I lock the door?

Was the toilet blocked?

Was my clean t shirt dirty?

Was my clean socks dirty?

Are my thoughts controlled?

and I wore old shoes just in case, washed my hands a few times, avoided trying new shoes on, then the rucksack issue and I worried if I touched it my hands were dirty anyway. 

So yes it is tiring having ocd that’s my average routine right now..not great

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44 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

I can only assume as my ocd is that bad it’s not working?

You need to shift your mindset. Compulsions are never a good thing.

Compulsions make the obsessions stronger

Your obsessions are now so strong BECAUSE OF THE COMPULSIONS. Your compulsions will not take away the anxiety anymore and won't seem to take it away even for a short time. 

The compulsions will however CONTINUE to make your obsessions stronger and more horrific. 

The only way to stop this whole thing is to stop doing the compulsions.

Edited by Orwell1984

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Phil again let's say you don't need to use the thread as a compulsion, to write down all your intrusions here :(

 If you carry on doing so it is likely the moderators will close the thread.

Let me just say now that carrying out compulsions empowers not diminishes OCD. So we do need to trim them right down, then stop them. 

One of the commonest forms of compulsion is rumination, and here is a quotation I came across which sums up why this is worthless in tackling OCD. 

"The word ‘rumination’ comes from what cows do when they digest grass: they chew it again and again before they swallow it, and it doesn’t end there: they then bring it back up … and chew it again. That’s what we do: a lifetime of chewing"

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Yes I have issues I rebuy iron boards, rebuy rucksacks and don’t feel any relief I don’t know if I will take them back or what I will do. I feel frustrated the therapy isn’t having any effect people say be patient but the reality is it might not work. 

I can’t seem to stop myself buying stuff I mean yes I post when I have worries but I also need some support because I am battling away and needing help to try and cope with this.

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We give you support Phil. I don't know what you're looking for but we guve you and everyone else fact-based strategies to get past this. You come back with this long diary of qhat OCD is up to today and what compulsions you've done or contemplated.

What support are you looking for?

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What you can do Phil is resist those compulsions and ride out the pull of them and the resultant anxiety. 

I should think that everyone who has managed to recover from OCD,  myself included, has had this challenging battle to face - and by hook or by crook and a lot of dedication and determination, done so. 

I can recall times I felt half dead from anxiety, yet still picked myself up and got myself to my therapy session. 

It's up to us to do the homework, tackle the exposures, change our thinking and our behavioural response. 

No therapist can do it for us. And it saddens helpers here when, as often happens, we have given lots of help and advice yet the sufferer seems frozen in time - like a rabbit in the headlights - seemingly unable to apply that advice, do the work, make those changes. 

Phil you know what to do.Aside from guidance and homework from your therapist, it's all been given here. 

There isn't more guidance to give. Sympathy of course - but you have to wean yourself off those compulsions. You know they make OCD worse, strengthen it, encourage it. 

It isn't the therapy that isn't working. The therapy does work - as I know well. But only if we steadfastly keep working it, reducing compulsions, carrying out exposure, learning to refocus instead of carrying out compulsions, make the changes. 

You can do this Phil. We all can. 

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5 hours ago, taurean said:

If you carry on doing so it is likely the moderators will close the thread.

Honestly thats probably the best idea at this point.  19 pages in and we are exactly where we were on page 1.

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