Saz Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 (edited) I've also been worrying that I may have been duping my therapist. I had a though that when she was asking how I felt and I said I was OK (because I was but I wasn't 100%) she said she was really pleased Etc and I've responded well... Well I obviously I straight away think I haven't responded well so she doesn't really know how I'm feeling so how could she possibly know my memory is false! She can only go off what I've told her! I've not deceived anyone on purpose but feels like I could have unintentionally. Does that even make sense? Help! X Edited October 11, 2018 by Saz Link to comment
PolarBear Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 Just your OCD trying to get you back into ruminating. Link to comment
Saz Posted October 13, 2018 Author Share Posted October 13, 2018 Thanks pb. I see really tough times ahead. It's practically over for me and my partner. Not even going to go into it. But this is all I need after everything I've been through. Just need a break! Link to comment
Saz Posted October 14, 2018 Author Share Posted October 14, 2018 Struggling quite a bit, it's probably a combination of everything. Feel rotten. Sorry just needing to vent a little. Link to comment
Saz Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Sorry to take up more time but I'm not in a good place. I don't feel well at all in terms of...well everything really...I feel really down and am questioning myself so much. I can't even have a conversation with my (soon to be ex partner) without us disagreeing /arguing, him going out to his house and then me thinking he's going to so something terrible to himself. I feel a need to ring him to make sure he's ok but I don't want to because he's in the wrong in my eyes and has hurt me. I'm tired, emotionally drained and thinking I'm a bad person. All this on top of the memory that hasn't yet really faded. Sorry I just need a virtual hug or words of wisdom x Link to comment
Saz Posted October 20, 2018 Author Share Posted October 20, 2018 Sorry to post again and not sure if I've offended anyone but I am really going through it as per my above posts. I'm trying to go with the anxiety and sick feeling but I'm really starting to feel so panicked with the memory again. I know the stress of everything with my partner won't be helping. Just don't know where else to turn. Link to comment
ExpectoPatronum Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 Hi Saz, I don’t necessarily have words of wisdom without knowing the specifics, but I empathize with what you’re going through. Relationships are hard anyway, but especially when compounded by anxiety and ocd. I’m going through something that sounds pretty similar relationship-wise and I can’t talk to my partner about anything because they pretty much invalidate anything I say. Hope you are ok. Link to comment
Binxy Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 (edited) Hi Saz, So sorry that things aren't going well at home- this will only exacerbate things. Unfortunately, when we're already on our knees, OCD will always pick that time to strike. Whilst you're feeling pants, it will be very tempting to start the compulsions again in an effort to make the problem go away. Stand firm, take things a day at the time, don't put yourself under too much pressure if that's possible. You know what to do. Hang in there buddy. Binx Edited October 21, 2018 by Binxy Link to comment
Saz Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 On 20/10/2018 at 14:24, ExpectoPatronum said: Hi Saz, I don’t necessarily have words of wisdom without knowing the specifics, but I empathize with what you’re going through. Relationships are hard anyway, but especially when compounded by anxiety and ocd. I’m going through something that sounds pretty similar relationship-wise and I can’t talk to my partner about anything because they pretty much invalidate anything I say. Hope you are ok. Thank you Expect. Hope you are OK too, think it's worse when when can't spk to our partners isn't it. Im dealing with an apparent horrendous false memory, although I feel it's real X 20 hours ago, Binxy said: Hi Saz, So sorry that things aren't going well at home- this will only exacerbate things. Unfortunately, when we're already on our knees, OCD will always pick that time to strike. Whilst you're feeling pants, it will be very tempting to start the compulsions again in an effort to make the problem go away. Stand firm, take things a day at the time, don't put yourself under too much pressure if that's possible. You know what to do. Hang in there buddy. Binx Oh binx Just been really feeling it lately. Was actually shaking a bit yesterday, just jittery and on edge. I tried to hard to work through the anxiety and let it come down but it's not really coming down. I'm tired. I understand ocd strikes when we are vulnerable, I just hate the way it ends up feeling so intense and real. I feel like I've undone all my good work. I even started to question what you guys must think of me considering I've had the same thought for years now, it's must seem like it's real because it does to me. x Link to comment
Binxy Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Morning Saz, Seeming like it's real is normal for OCD- if it wasn't so convincing it would be a problem. You're really going through it in your personal life at the moment- it's no wonder you're struggling. Have a look at your therapy notes. Keep an eye out for compulsions slipping in. You've not undone your good work- you're just having a rough time with it at the moment. Don't worry about what we think of you; this is a community of fellow sufferers- we know exactly what it's like. 2014/15 was the hardest period of my life- but I got through it. You will get through this too. Link to comment
Saz Posted October 22, 2018 Author Share Posted October 22, 2018 5 hours ago, Binxy said: Morning Saz, Seeming like it's real is normal for OCD- if it wasn't so convincing it would be a problem. You're really going through it in your personal life at the moment- it's no wonder you're struggling. Have a look at your therapy notes. Keep an eye out for compulsions slipping in. You've not undone your good work- you're just having a rough time with it at the moment. Don't worry about what we think of you; this is a community of fellow sufferers- we know exactly what it's like. 2014/15 was the hardest period of my life- but I got through it. You will get through this too. Thanks binx as always. Just on my dinner in work. Hope I feel better soon. Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Be kind to yourself saz, you're going through a rough time. Things are difficult and it's OK just to pause and leave everything be. Just take things one step at a time. Sending you hugs and good wishes x Link to comment
Saz Posted October 24, 2018 Author Share Posted October 24, 2018 On 22/10/2018 at 18:49, gingerbreadgirl said: Be kind to yourself saz, you're going through a rough time. Things are difficult and it's OK just to pause and leave everything be. Just take things one step at a time. Sending you hugs and good wishes x Thank gbg. This is rough. Had all kinds of doubts today. Feel like asking for help with questions I have but I know everything has been answered before. x Link to comment
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