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lily17

So worried I hurt my little sister.

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Last night we were having dinner and my sister was scratching her chest through her shirt and I believe that drew my attention to look at it or maybe I just looked at it to test myself. So then I noticed my sister pulled a sad face and did a hand gesture and I asked her why she did that and she said she was getting her hair out of the way so it was fine and the sad face was probably because she had a bad day at school but the thing is that I got worried she did this because she noticed I looked at her chest so I told her I wasn't looking at it even though I was so she wouldn't thing anything weird about me... So she reacted to me saying that with 'oh my god' or something like that because I've been behaving oddly towards her because I don't let her touch me etc. So maybe she thought it was nonsense and didn't care about it? I don't know... I'm just worried that what I said was maybe harmful for her... Even though she didn't seem to care... :(

Edited by lily17

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Hi Lily, you have to try to realize that, wether you looked at her chest, is not the problem. How you think about these things is always going to be distorted because you have a misfiring brain. If I tell you now, what you want to hear. Which is, that there is nothing wrong with looking at someones chest - it doesnt mean anything, often it cant be helped, - ive done it myself, - it means nothing. Your sister is not going to get upset about you looking at her chest - something else is just going to pop up.

This order is very very hard, but if you want a shot at beating it, you have to leave these things unanswered, what you are doing is only fueling your own suffering. You also need to work on letting her touch you etc. Because this is affecting your relationship with your sister, and you shouldnt let it have that much power.

 

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28 minutes ago, humbleno1 said:

Hi Lily, you have to try to realize that, wether you looked at her chest, is not the problem. How you think about these things is always going to be distorted because you have a misfiring brain. If I tell you now, what you want to hear. Which is, that there is nothing wrong with looking at someones chest - it doesnt mean anything, often it cant be helped, - ive done it myself, - it means nothing. Your sister is not going to get upset about you looking at her chest - something else is just going to pop up.

This order is very very hard, but if you want a shot at beating it, you have to leave these things unanswered, what you are doing is only fueling your own suffering. You also need to work on letting her touch you etc. Because this is affecting your relationship with your sister, and you shouldnt let it have that much power.

 

Thank you for your response. And yeah... I really should start working at letting her touch me but it terrifies me right now 

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Someone please help me. PLEASE HELP ME. My obsession with my deceased grandfather has come back... I was sitting on the sofa with a huge groinal response and I closed my eyes and nodded my head in signal of tiredness... So the second time I did this, I thought about doing it thinking of my grandfather for sexual reasons!!! Like right after doing it or even at the same moment I thought that!!! And I'm so sure it was me and not OCD that I wanted to do that to pleasure myself thinking of him even though what I was feeling was a groinal response! I'm so so sad because then I was like okay so let's see how I've done this how is it possible to move your head and move your crotch at the same time and I feel like I've done it for sexual reasons too when trying this out I feel like I got another thought of him and did it for sexual reasons PLEASE HELP ME  

Edited by lily17

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45 minutes ago, lily17 said:

Someone please help me. PLEASE HELP ME. My obsession with my deceased grandfather has come back... I was sitting on the sofa with a huge groinal response and I closed my eyes and nodded my head in signal of tiredness... So the second time I did this, I thought about doing it thinking of my grandfather for sexual reasons!!! Like right after doing it or even at the same moment I thought that!!! And I'm so sure it was me and not OCD that I wanted to do that to pleasure myself thinking of him even though what I was feeling was a groinal response! I'm so so sad because then I was like okay so let's see how I've done this how is it possible to move your head and move your crotch at the same time and I feel like I've done it for sexual reasons too when trying this out I feel like I got another thought of him and did it for sexual reasons PLEASE HELP ME  

Do you see what has happened Lily, you solved the other thought now this one is back, this is meaningless, if you really want to help yourself accept the possibility of whatever you fear.

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4 minutes ago, humbleno1 said:

Do you see what has happened Lily, you solved the other thought now this one is back, this is meaningless, if you really want to help yourself accept the possibility of whatever you fear.

I don't fear I'm attracted to him because I know I'm not. I'm just afraid of doing movements thinking of him... Like OCD makes me do these kind of things like I've done now and I don't know why if I didn't have OCD I would never do this ****. 

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Lily, you have the insight to know that, if "you didnt have ocd, you wouldnt do something", you have to try to understand the misfiring signal, and how to deal with it. This rumination, and reassurance seeking is not going to help you. Its just pushing down the inflatable raft so to speak, the other end is just going to pop up.

I know its hard I completely get that, but hows about trying this, these questions that you have right now, right now while they sit and nag at you in your brain, allow them to do so. Go and do something relaxing and everytime It enters your head accept its there, but dont delve into it, let it sit in your brain. Try to do this for as long as you can, the longer the better.

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This isn't helping, Lily. You've been warned about this dozens of times.

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