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Hey all, this is gonna hopefully be just a short stress vent, but it’s my birthday today (23 years, OCD hasn’t finished me yet!) and it’s all been rather nice except for I had a bit of an OCD episode about an hour ago and it’s started to ruin it a bit unfortunately. I fully expected this might happen, and I know exactly how OCD works in regards to trying to ruin good moods and events you hold important, so I’m neither too surprised nor too upset, just a little annoyed to be honest. Was having a grand time and now I’m stressed out and irritable, which is no fun for anybody. I’m sure I’ll work through it, it’s just a bit of an annoyance really! Thugs have been tough lately but they have been getting better which is something to hold on to. Just wish I could let it go for good really!

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Happy birthday Ollie! :happybirth::happybday:

 

It sucks when OCD comes along and ruins nice occasions.  My Christmas last year was a total write-off because of OCD - it's almost like the more you don't want it to come along, the more it thinks "aha! something for me to ruin!"

Just hold onto the fact that things have been improving and will continue to improve - just stick with it.  It sucks that it's tainted your birthday, but you were having a good time until then and you will have an even better time for your 24th :) 

Hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your evening as much as you can - and keep fighting, you will get there in time.

GBG x

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Happy birthday Ollie! :happybirth:

I often have problems with my OCD around birthdays/Christmases etc. too for as long as I can remember. My OCD/health anxiety effectively ruined my 30th birthday in August this year, as me and my partner went away to Snowdonia for a couple of days, but when I got there I was convinced I had appendicitis and needed to come back home so I could go to hospital. I was so distressed and had crippling pain in my lower right abdomen, that after 2 days we came home early, and would you believe it (not), by the time we'd got home my "symptoms" had disappeared. I just felt for my poor partner who'd tried so hard to make my birthday a good one so that I could relax and enjoy it but unfortunately that didn't happen :(

Edited by Lynz

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Thank you very much for the birthday wishes guys! I’ve managed okay for the rest of the evening, still get those small waves of anxiety and depressing feelings when I remember it but am doing my best to just dismiss it and get on with enjoying myself 😊 it’s hard work, this OCD thing! It’s very awkward how it will spike up during moments you really don’t want it to, taking away it’s power can be an absolute mission sometimes. Thanks again everybody 😁

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Happy Birthday Ollie! :baby2:

My OCD also gets worse with any events such as birthdays, holidays, Christmas etc. 

My therapist taught me breathing exercises, which I now do when the anxiety gets bad, and then I do my best to move on and refocus - I know, easier says than done sometimes, but it really helps me now. 

Do your best to not let the OCD hijack your birthday, you deserve a lovely day! Tell it to get lost! :)

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Thanks for the response Dagonfly :) 

Yes, holidays and Christmases are another one my OCD loves to try to ruin. I’m not going to lie, right now I’m feeling rock bottom, massive decline from yesterday. I was feeling okay yesterday up until the very end and I just had a massive anxiety attack and I’ve been stuck in a loop of rumination ever since. I can’t stop, I feel extremely depressed right now and I’m finding it very hard to bring myself back. I have my birthday celebration later on where I’m going to dinner with all my friends and right now I don’t feel up to it at all, my mind is going in circles and even though I know what I have to do, I just can’t seem to do it.

I think I keep doing the wrong things, like I keep telling myself this is an OCD trick but that in itself is me trying to reassure myself and it’s obviously not working. Hope I can get through this, this little setback period is without a doubt the worst I have ever felt with this disorder, I just feel so lost sometimes 😖

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Hi Ollie,

Happy birthday! - I sympathise as I find OCD can aim to ruin any occasion, its my birthday next week and I have in the past had OCD effect me. I have various 'themes' and 1 or all can seem to rear their ugly head when I am approaching something I may dare to enjoy.

What I would say is make yourself go out later - enjoy a few hours of letting your hair down - spending time with others having a laugh can be a nice distraction/ respite from OCD or other worries. Staying in will only make you feel worse and probably ruminate more.

Have you ever had CBT to tackle your OCD?

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Thanks Avo!

yeah I’ve kind of concluded going later will be the best thing as well. It’s going to be hard because right now I feel absolutely god-awful, but I’ll still go and try to have fun. 

I have had CBT for my OCD some years ago now, between the ages of 17 and 18. After I had it and after I’d been suffering for a while, I just decided that I was going to get better no matter what so I resigned myself to ensure that I tried my best with using what I’d learned to get better. And it worked! I’ve had small setbacks and bad days, but for the last 3 years my OCD has been MUCH easier to manage and my main sexual obsession subsided massively. Only in the past 3 months or so have a gotten bad again, and only in the past week and a half has it gotten as bad as it is now. I know exactly why- I haven’t been using what I learned in my CBT at all. I’ve been making every mistake in the book. And now I’m here and some days (like today) it just feels like I’ll never get out.

For a while, I think one of the things that has been contributing to my anxiety is the fear that I may have to go back into therapy. I really don’t want to and I think that fear of the idea is causing damage itself. I was doing so well last week and now I feel like all that progress has gone away

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Hi Ollie,

Don't beat yourself too  much - relapse is not uncommon in OCD, I have had several bouts of CBT over the years. Don't worry about going back into therapy with a good therapist it can be tough but rewarding. I have had similar themes myself and although I can't say I am free of OCD I am able to dismiss the thoughts by and large that can bombard me at times. I would say I am 70 - 90 % recovered. 

Anyway - Get yourself out and have a good time .!

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Hi GBG,

Yes my evening that night turned out to be very lovely and I’m really glad I went, I was very up and down for some of it but it was a wonderful celebration overall 😁 my OCD has been quite difficult today, yesterday was quite good. I went to the gym again for the first time in about a month, when I was going regularly my OCD was a lot easier to deal with, no doubt because I had a physical outlet for a lot of my anxiety that was fuelling it. I’m getting there, it’s just going to take some time unfortunately! But I’m in a much better place than I was a few days ago 😊

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