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Hi, I'm having a bit of trouble right now. I don't know what to do and I am so confused to be honest. 

I've had an okay time with my OCD recently but in the past few days it's come back and I don't think it's OCD anymore. Basically, for school I had to watch something very triggering. I deal with a variety of sexual themes. I was panicked the whole day leading up to it. It dealt with some sexual themes - the entire time I felt so uncomfortable and I took relief which meant I didn't like it and wouldn't want to engage in it. But, i kept comparing myself to the film and panicking myself even further. I don't know what to do and it feels like this will never go away. I'm embarrassed in all honesty. It feels as though when I make progress and feel better I just get worse and it feels so real! I've resulted to googling things and comparing myself, asking how I felt and I'm scared that I'm in denial when I didn't feel like that a week ago. Can someone please help me? 

Sorry for the rant but I need some help 

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Pretty straightforward. You were triggered. That resulted in thoughts that you could be abnormsl (obsessions). Those thoughts caused you anxiety. You doubted who you are. To solve the alleged probkem you Googled (checking compulsion) and mentally compared yourself to others (checking compulsion).

Obsessions, distress, doubt, compulsions =  OCD.

Your problem was, as usual, buying into the thoughts, rather than treating them as worthless. Because you bought into them, you performed compulsions, which far from solving the problem  only made things worse.

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Hi, thanks for the reply

I know but it genuinely feels real and like I'm repressing myself even thought I hate them. I don't know really

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10 minutes ago, don't know said:

Hi, thanks for the reply

I know but it genuinely feels real and like I'm repressing myself even thought I hate them. I don't know really

Ocd always feels real 😒 otherwise it wouldn't be so horrible. Pb's advice is spot on. You need to take charge and show ocd who's boss x 

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Hi, thanks for the reply 

It's confusing me whether it is ocd or not because it keeps coming up, so I'm scared there's some truth to it - even though I've been better when I haven't been dealing with it. But, I'm going to take on the advice I've been given and stop the compulsions 

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I'm still having trouble and I feel as though I'm falling back into old habits. Am I just running away from the truth? Am I in denial? I just don't know anymore. I just watched something that made me doubt myself. I know I said I would stop looking things up but I couldn't help myself and I still feel so confused. I know in my heart that I don't want to do any of these things (I feel panicked by typing that out, so that the truth?) but am I just trying to pretend to have OCD in order to stay in denial? I'm not sure and I'm really scared. 

 

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I'm not going to entertain your questions. I gave you a perfectly valid answer yesterday and you are back here looking for reassurance.

Time to change what you are doing or you'll continue to go round and round.

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