OCD Answers..

[Ben Dark]

Hello Everyone,

im aware it’s been a while since I’ve posted but at moment just feel I want to live depressed and fed up each day, but know has clicked the only way forward around these issues is too get out there if I’m not sure what I’m doing is right or need some advice.

Unfortunately this weekend is going pretty rough. Was ment to going away with some family memebers who I’ve known many years throughout my childhood, but unfortunately they had purchased a kitten from me agreeing to pay at the time, then when I chased about money they decided to block all communication and make out to there side of the family and there friends who I was ment to be seeing that I give them the kitten too look after which they know what was agreed at the time, and would hope they would know in there heart what they’ve done and the disaster they have caused is wrong.

 

anyways don’t want to bore everyone with my life problems. Sorry peeeps.. 

this was just a post to see if anyone gets similar symptoms as myself. 

I always find the only time my brain can relax and can gather all my thoughts properly without everything going around is when I drink acohol.  Anyone else experience this. 

 

Also find my head is like a foggy mess and feels jammed (not sure if this is the best way to  explain lol) . 

 

And seem to forget something I’ve done a second ago, 

 

for example: it might been I took my antidepressants, and forgot and doubting myself repeatedly. Is this normal to experience.

i probably have all your answers in the back of my head lol, but could be wrong. 

 

Does anyone find sertraline works??? 

 

Sorry to go off on a tangent, really just needing some answers as this is really impacting my life a lot. 

 

Dont think it helps a lot of things the fact I’ve been controlled from a parent throughout my life, and is probably causing some of the symptoms i am experiencing I.e memory issues etc. 

 

Thanks all in advance for your replies 

 

Ben  

[Hal]

Hi Ben,

Try not to worry too much about what went on with your family and the kitten. I know it's a tricky situation when family are involved, you must feel very let down by them, but maybe look at it that you did your best. So long as the kitten is being looked after well, maybe chalk this one up to experience and try to move on from it...focus now on what's also important here, how you are in yourself.

Talking of which, please please please be a bit careful mixing alcohol while you're taking the antidepressants. I get that a drink helps with feeling more chilled out and less anxious, but it's more than likely undoing all the benefits you should be feeling from taking the medication.

It's difficult to say for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if the foggy feeling you're experiencing and the forgetfulness are down to the combInation of the two...and 'feeding' the doubt more.

How do you feel about maybe stopping the alcohol for a month or so and seeing how you feel? It might initially be tough going, but my hunch is you'll feel a lot better in the long run. 

 

[Ben Dark]

Hi Hal, 

thanks for your nice message. think Im gonna try and cut the alcohol out for 1 month at least and see how I feel as every time I seem to go out and have a few drinks of alcohol I seem to get the feeling that everything is great at the moment of drinking and being surrounded by the up lifting atmosphere, then find in the morning when I wake up I feel more worse then I generally do daily. but alcohol isn't the main issue I would say. I feel very alone here, don't have any family who is interested, or find I have any friends who is interested in me. for quite some time been struggling to get things done and I still do now, and im wondering if its more than Depression and OCD? not sure if its the fact of the mental abuse I've gone through in my past and see nothing is good in what I do, or there is something else mentally not right with me. do experience lack of energy initially when you wake up and de motivated, and struggle to get a good nights sleep? 

 

you don't know of any of social sites where people have the same condition and you can plan to meet up etc?

im not sure on here, but if im right in saying you like to keep everything within the website only don't you :) 

anyways how you doing lately you all good...

Ben :)

[Hal]

On 18/10/2018 at 01:50, Ben Dark said:

....think Im gonna try and cut the alcohol out for 1 month at least and see how I feel....

I really think you're doing the right thing. Fingers crossed, once you begin to feel all the benefits from the medication, you might also notice an improvement in your sleeping patterns and energy levels, and that will also have a knock-on effect on your motivation...it should be a win win.

See how you go, but don't panic if you don't feel an immediate improvement, take it a day at a time, but hold firm.

You might also find the atmosphere where you're drinking is enough in itself to lift your spirits, it's important you keep your regular social life going.

It can be difficult with friends and family can't it, they don't always understand how difficult coping with OCD can be and how low it can make us feel. I guess some of it probably comes from being a bit apprehensive around knowing what to say or worrying they might say the wrong thing, it's not easy though.

I think you're being very wise to want to find new social outlets and not expecting the medication to change everything, you've got a great proactive attitude.

From memory the charity does occasionally organise events, but I have also found a peer support service through MIND, I wonder if that may be something worth looking at? Here's a link to more info:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/peer-support-directory/about-peer-support/#.W8peWoHTXqC

I just wonder though, if it would also be an idea to see what sort of clubs and social events are available locally to you. Not necessarily tied-in with mental health, just regular activities like adult education, or maybe joining a local sports club. Something like that could also help with how you feel about yourself and raising your self esteem.

Some of those thoughts you're having around nothing you do being good enough are more than likely down to the depression and what you've been through in the past, but gradually when the fog lifts, I really hope you'll be able to see the truth about yourself.

I'm doing okay, thanks for asking one day at a time eh, but we'll all get there won't we.

[Ben Dark]

Thanks for your message Hal, 

My Docs have just increased my medication to 150mg from 100mg so I hope to feel some effect now with all luck. I will soon see. They suggested I took the medication in the mornings as well so it can get into my system and by bed time it should make it easier for me to rest and sleep.

im finding going out and socialising very difficult as I am doubtful people think certain things about me. The only time I go out and actually enjoy the atmosphere is when I’ve pre drinked at home and feel buzzing lol. Would really love to get to the bottom of all these issues and get myself out this misery. I do think a lot of it is down to my past and how I’ve been brought up, but then think some of it is due to how people how decided to turn there backs on me, and feel very lonely and isolated. I see the link you posted, cheers for that. Will check that out . 

Regarding local clubs in my area don’t think there is anything interesting I would want to get into in my town. Think I would have to go a few miles out which isn’t really a issue as I really need to get myself out this mind of negativity, and depression I have every day. 

Sometimes I read replies on here and can’t even reply as just got no motivation, now that’s really not normal is it? Do you experience this?? Or could be I take my tablet for my aniexty and depression, then few moments later i can’t remember if I’ve took it... 

a thing I’m experiencing at the minute is I have loads of things to do with my motivation decides to turn off, then things pile up. But no matter how many things I’ve done that day. Everything still seems to be going round my head (it’s like I’ve done nothing of the things I’ve needed to do) if this makes sense. 

 

Hope your weekend is going well .. :-)

[Hal]

Hi Ben,

Taking the medication in the morning sounds like a really good plan. Hopefully you won't have any side effects from upping the dose, but if you do, please tell your GP. Some people do well on them, but it's best to keep an eye on how you respond to the increase.

I was thinking over the weekend about what you were saying around not remembering if you've taken your tablet, it's easy to do. Would something like a tablet dispenser maybe help? Boots sell them quite cheaply....just an idea:

https://www.boots.com/safe-and-sound-7-day-pill-box-10125536

On 27/10/2018 at 17:03, Ben Dark said:

Im finding going out and socialising very difficult as I am doubtful people think certain things about me.

I went through a time in my late teens where I struggled socialising too. In small groups among close friends I was fine, but being amongst large groups of people I didn't know I struggled with.

This isn't easy, but the best advice I can give is keep making yourself go out. The most tempting but worst thing to do is isolating yourself.....it becomes so much harder to break the habit and won't give you the opportunities to work on building up your confidence. People can think what they want to think, all that counts is how you feel about yourself. Maybe you could dismiss what you think others might be thinking as you would an intrusive thought?

It would be great if there are a few clubs or societies locally you feel would be worth a go. Sometimes I've found sharing a common interest can make breaking down any social barriers a lot easier than it can be in a pub or club.

On 27/10/2018 at 17:03, Ben Dark said:

Sometimes I read replies on here and can’t even reply as just got no motivation, now that’s really not normal is it? 

I think it's very normal with depression Ben. Maybe at the moment posting isn't the right 'fit' with how you feel, but hopefully you'll discover something that sparks your interest and helps to lift the depression. 

With the stuff you need to do though, would it help to write a list of what you need to do, but break it up with other things that might be more enjoyable? It will help to make small changes and, this is really important....be kind to yourself. 

If you do better on some days than others, that's okay, look at the long term goal

[Ben Dark]

What a good idea Hal.

 

think I will have a look on the link you provided about a tablet dispense. thank you for that. so with the problems I am having with memory do you experience this or ever experienced this? im not really too sure what to look online to find something most approipiate  for my needs. at present im finding I want to go out on the weekend and have a blast on alcohol as this just really relaxes me and takes away the pressure in my head and depression. I know tho alcohol is a depressant and when the drink gets out your system you feel very down and depressed. 

 

a lot of my anxiety and depression is down to my life style I think, the issue is can't see nothing good in what I do hence why I think I don't want to purse things I need to do on a daily basis. at the minute have a bit of a nasty habit of going to bed silly o clock and waking up 5pm in the evening next day.. 

 

hows things been with you.? 

 

I sense you probably have a feel of my depression as my reply here is very late, a lot of that is due to the fact my motivation is out the window..

 

 

Ben :)

 

 

[Hal]

I'm sorry the depression's not lifting Ben, I reckon you could well be right though that some of how you feel could be because of your lifestyle. It becomes a bit of a vicious cycle doesn't it. If you're not feeling up to doing things you're also not giving yourself a fighting chance to find something that might help you feel better in yourself.

It's very very easy for me to advise this, I appreciate I'm lucky enough not to be going through depression, but to overcome it, it will help to try to do things in spite of how you're feeling.

That must take a huge amount of strength and willpower to do, but setting yourself a couple of goals to achieve each day is the way forward. They don't have to be huge, something like making a proper breakfast for yourself, going down to the corner shop for something or the cinema....anything, so long as you can look back at the end of the day knowing yep, I did this and I'm taking some steps in the right direction. 

Do you think you could get your sleeping pattern back on track? Not getting enough sunlight will also affect how you feel, it might be worth getting hold of some Vit D supplements, they don't call it the happiness vitamin for nothing

I'm pretty sure it can also help with memory too, don't quote me on that though. I'd say it's quite normal to forget occasionally, I have noticed if I fall back into old habits and start ruminating I can be so focused on that, that I'm not fully engaged in what I'm doing, is it possible you're doing the same sometimes, you mentioned looking online for solutions, do you worry and feel anxious about it a lot?

Things aren't too bad at the moment, I'm looking forward to Christmas and having a proper break, have you got plans for the holidays?