taurean Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 The good thing about this community is that we can learn, then share, experiences to the common good. I have been on my own recovery journey a long time, read lots of books, had various sessions of CBT with different clinical psychologists, and exchanged information with many other sufferers. So, motivated by a cry for help from efes @efeson her topic this afternoon, and having completed my – in retirement – tasks for the day, I have taken myself upstairs to my little office in the loft room of our bungalow, powered up the laptop and printer and done what I often do when writing an involved topic; opened up a word document to regularly save the material, and better edit it prior to uploading it to the forums. In General It’s important that we try and accept that we are dealing with a mental illness called OCD, that manifests itself through negative irrational core beliefs based on falsehood, exaggeration or revulsion. These manifest through intrusive thoughts, and it is a feature of OCD that we may find it difficult to believe our intrusive thoughts are OCD, and not a real statement of our characters. This demand for certainty holds many people back – but they can overcome it by working hard towards accepting the probability it is OCD, and taking a leap of faith that what we all here on the forums are saying is true, and it is OCD. So let’s listen to the WE not the OCD! Why the Repetitive “Stuck” Nature Of the Intrusions My current private therapist (though I have not needed to consult with her for 4 years) really steered me to some great tips and tricks. Before I mention some, here is the first – and to me most important – explanation she gave to me. Think of OCD as a magnifying glass held in the hand, whilst scanning for things that support its arguments. When a non-sufferer encounters such a trigger, they stay on the periphery of their “field of vision”, in the background, are noted then simply gently eased away. But in a sufferer, the brain is automatically scanning for the things we fear, and when it finds one it brings it right into the centre of our field of vision, puts it under that magnifying lens, then “locks” it in place so we can’t get rid of it. We then experience the urge to carry out compulsions to try and challenge the intrusion, make us feel better, but we go wrong to do that – a compulsion, such as ruminating googling experimenting re-assurance-seeking, only makes the OCD intrusion more believable, and we find ourselves making connections (which don’t actually exist) to other thoughts and feelings or experiences, further strengthening belief in the intrusion. The “lock” that the OCD applies may mean repetitive thoughts in an occasional format, quite regular format, or (as in my case), continually-repeating format within the mental chatter in our brain. Some people, like me, fear that they will “voice” the intrusions in the hearing of others. Learning CBT CBT works for OCD, same as it does for other forms of anxiety disorder, and for phobias. Different methods of working it apply to other issues – but if we have those (and I had 4 types of anxiety-inducing thinking distortions) – we may find these are working in tandem with our OCD – so we may need to look for such thinking distortions and learn how to use basic CBT to challenge them. Do we have to have CBT with a therapist- given how long we may have to wait for it on the NHS? Well it’s surely worth having a go at self-help while waiting. But if we want to try private therapy, and we have the money to pay for it, it is important to check out the credentials of the proposed therapist in treating OCD – help is at hand on the OCD-UK main website in this regard. Working The CBT To make it work I think we need to: Understand the C – cognitive side – of how OCD makes us think and feel. Learn how we can challenge the core beliefs and resultant intrusions by changing our behaviours, including using exposure and response prevention (ERP) correctly. I think some people go wrong by trying ERP before the C is understood – and not carrying it our correctly in short structured sessions, targeting each theme and triggers. Within a theme one school of thought (to which I subscribe) is to tackle triggers working up a hierarchy of triggers in accordance within the amount of anxiety caused. To anyone other that the sufferer, the intrusions will appear to be “worthless nonsense”, so the aim of the ERP is to enable the sufferer to see them in this way, so the anxiety false away and the trigger is rendered benign. When we have slayed one such “dragon” we move on in the ERP to another trigger within the theme – and so on. We won’t recover from OCD until we stop carrying out compulsions either. We can use distraction here. When an intrusion occurs let’s think “oh that’s just my silly obsession”, seek not to pay it attention but rather to refocus our attention onto something beneficial and involved – preferably what we were doing before theintrusion appeared. We need to keep practising it and practising it, accepting any failures as simply blips, then try again. When the refocusing becomes automatic, the intrusion will lose power and frequency. Timeframe Recovery will take whatever time it takes for any particular individual. There is no place in recovery for Impatience. We need to learn that “trying” just isn’t good enough. We can all try to do anything – but we are only likely to succeed if we are committed, absolutely dedicated , to doing so. Overcoming That Brainlock I Mentioned Earlier In my own case, just the CBT wouldn’t do this. My brain was stuck in gear, the transmission seized up – those episodes of constant repetitions could go on for weeks, sometimes months. I learned about 18 months ago that using mindfulness could help, as an addition to the CBT. My therapist had taught me that in a true state of mindfulness we leave behind that part of the brain where all the obsessing and carrying out compulsions takes place, and enter a benign part of the brain where we are just “being” in the present, in the moment, totally involved in what is immediately around us. I started to apply this regularly, and also, when an intrusion occurred, at the time of distraction – shifting focus into the mindful state. I additionally moved focus into a consideration of self-love and kindness, reminding my self that, though OCD says so, I am not bad and my true character values remain intact. Still Carrying Out Compulsions? If we are still carrying out compulsions, perhaps without realising it, we aren’t going to, at least fully, recover. To me there is no “Pure O”, the sufferer will be carrying out mental compulsions, and these may be not obvious, might be of a hidden nature. We may need help from therapist or the forums to uncloak these and tackle them. I hope this piece may be food for thought and help those who are struggling with their recovery. I also hope others may add to the aid I hope I am providing here. All the best Roy Link to comment
taurean Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 By the way, apologies for the several typos that came through the word process and onto the upload. Some were correct, but "wrong", words, so fooled the spellchecker, others glitches I failed to spot - like two words combined into one. The meaning is I think perfectly clear; but you just can't get the staff these days Link to comment
bruces Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Do you think it's ever possible to be the person that you were before mental illness? Are you a different person now that you are recovered? Link to comment
taurean Posted October 16, 2018 Author Share Posted October 16, 2018 (edited) I am very much a different person now bruces. Before I set out on my journey of recovery I worried far too much. I worried about things I couldn't change and so the worry was pointless. I learned to stop the worrying. If I could make changes for the better, then I did them. Re those four cognitive distortions, they don't bother me now. From CBT I learned to place them back in their box and seal that, metaphorical, lid Re the OCD, triggers pop up just occasionally (rather than all the time, seemingly all around me, before). I am no longer tempted into avoidance, and don't practice it. Things that were a problem to me before, I now take in my stride. Learning meditation, and mindfulness, have been real aids as an addition to the CBT. I am now more open, more social, than I think I have ever been - and my self-worth and self-forgiveness ride high. And I have this burning desire to help and encourage others to put in the necessary learning and homework in order to get better. Edited October 16, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
taurean Posted October 16, 2018 Author Share Posted October 16, 2018 In summary, re the topic title, the following things may represent hurdles which are holding us back. Lack of knowledge of the cognitive side of OCD. Listening to what the OCD says, not what therapists and learned others say. Seeking certainty, which we can never ever achieve. Failing to convince ourselves to accept probability instead. Lack of commitment, failure to practice, and keep practising, what we learn. Continuing to carry out compulsions especially perhaps avoidance, reassurance-seeking, ruminating, googling, trying to work it out. Failure to understand, and believe, that with such themes as harm, sexual preference, paedophile, relationship, the OCD is taking one or more of our true core character values and alleging the opposite to be true. Being judgemental, blaming ourselves - when we have no fault for experiencing a mental illness that affects around 1% of the population. Allowing the OCD to create rules which we are believing must not be broken. We are applying the words "should" and "ought" in a strict and literal fashion. My psychiatrist told me these words can lead to psychological battles and are unhelpful. Incorrect application of exposure and response prevention. When we change our thinking, change our responses, we can change our lives. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 I think it's quite difficult and complex when you arnt the person you want to be isn't it. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 16, 2018 Author Share Posted October 16, 2018 It's the start of a journey. To be on the train you have to first buy a ticket. Link to comment
bruces Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 That's a good saying! You seem very positive. Link to comment
efes Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) How about the "wishing for the thoughts to leave" part which I think is the only barrier I have right now? Edited October 17, 2018 by efes Link to comment
efes Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 How about the "wishing for the thoughts to leave" which I think is the only barrier I have right now? Link to comment
taurean Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 Hi efes, I am not understanding exactly what you mean. Can you kindly be a little more specific about what is happening and in what context? Thanks Roy Link to comment
dksea Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 37 minutes ago, efes said: How about the "wishing for the thoughts to leave" which I think is the only barrier I have right now? Its natural to feel that way, we don't to feel anxiety and discomfort. However focusing on whether the thoughts are gone or not only serves to keep you focused on the thoughts. In my experience, in time, the thoughts do fade away, but by the time they do you just don't care as much. With OCD the goal is to train your brain to not care about the obsessions, so they become background noise. I've reached the point with many of my previously unwanted thoughts where i can actively bring them up in my mind without feeling anxiety or worry. Imagine someone who is afraid of spiders. Now, unlike OCD, a person who is afraid of spiders can walk away from them or have them taken away and they won't worry anymore. But put them back in a room with a spider and that fear comes back. But if they work on overcoming their fear related to spiders, if they use CBT/ERP to wean themselves off of that fear response, they will reach the point where the trigger no longer causes a problem. After a while they can not only be in a room with a spider, but even pick one up. They can intentionally and willfully interact with the spider, then put it away when they are done, all without anxiety and fear. You can reach the same point with OCD, but the focus needs to be on tackling the anxiety and compulsive response, not on avoiding the thought itself. Link to comment
efes Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 BTW, let me say what my biggest fear is: the idea of being anxious for no reason for an entire day or a couple of days even. For the most part, I no longer have themes that are that bad and my anxiety now is closer to generalized anxiety, but that specific theme refuses to go away. Link to comment
STEJ1986 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Hi Taurean, I am currently waiting to see a GP about my OCD, in hope that I can get it under control. In the meantime, is there anything you could advise me to start doing, as sort of a self help, while I'm waiting to talk to someone? Thanks, Ste Link to comment
efes Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 BTW, I find that I have to relearn various techniques every day because I suddenly get too nervous to do them. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 2 hours ago, STEJ1986 said: Hi Taurean, I am currently waiting to see a GP about my OCD, in hope that I can get it under control. In the meantime, is there anything you could advise me to start doing, as sort of a self help, while I'm waiting to talk to someone? Thanks, Ste Hi Steve Reading this piece is a good start. If you are in the UK the GP will tell you how to refer into the IAPT system to apply for CBT. But expect a long wait. My personal favourite in self-help is to use an CBT workbook for OCD. It gives the science then sets the necessary homework for the sufferers to do. There is at least one available via the shop on the main OCD-UK website. On that website you will also find useful information to help you understand OCD and CBT Regards Roy Link to comment
taurean Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) 5 hours ago, efes said: BTW, let me say what my biggest fear is: the idea of being anxious for no reason for an entire day or a couple of days even. For the most part, I no longer have themes that are that bad and my anxiety now is closer to generalized anxiety, but that specific theme refuses to go away. Hi efes. This is certainly likely if you have general anxiety disorder. But there is it would seem an OCD core belief hiding in there - "what if I suffer anxiety for one or two days for no apparent reason?". And because of the general anxiety, you probably are - which gives meaning to the core belief. General anxiety disorder itself is out of scope of the charity here and the forums, nor have I suffered from it, but will I imagine be on the remit of a CBT therapist. Edited October 17, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
STEJ1986 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 10 minutes ago, taurean said: Hi Steve Reading this piece is a good start. If you are in the UK the GP will tell you how to refer into the IAPT system to apply for CBT. But expect a long wait. My personal favourite in self-help is to use an CBT workbook for OCD. It gives the science then sets the necessary homework for the sufferers to do. There is at least one available via the shop on the main OCD-UK website. On that website you will also find useful information to help you understand OCD and CBT Regards Roy Thanks Roy, Ill take a look. I have been reading on hear and it does seem a lot of people have a long wait for therapy. Now that ive finally admitted to myself i have a problem, i might aswel try and do something about it, rather than waiting around and letting it get worse. Thanks again. Link to comment
STEJ1986 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 By the way, i found this post very helpful. Thanks. Link to comment
OB1 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 8 hours ago, dksea said: Its natural to feel that way, we don't to feel anxiety and discomfort. However focusing on whether the thoughts are gone or not only serves to keep you focused on the thoughts. In my experience, in time, the thoughts do fade away, but by the time they do you just don't care as much. With OCD the goal is to train your brain to not care about the obsessions, so they become background noise. I've reached the point with many of my previously unwanted thoughts where i can actively bring them up in my mind without feeling anxiety or worry. Imagine someone who is afraid of spiders. Now, unlike OCD, a person who is afraid of spiders can walk away from them or have them taken away and they won't worry anymore. But put them back in a room with a spider and that fear comes back. But if they work on overcoming their fear related to spiders, if they use CBT/ERP to wean themselves off of that fear response, they will reach the point where the trigger no longer causes a problem. After a while they can not only be in a room with a spider, but even pick one up. They can intentionally and willfully interact with the spider, then put it away when they are done, all without anxiety and fear. You can reach the same point with OCD, but the focus needs to be on tackling the anxiety and compulsive response, not on avoiding the thought itself. Really great post @taurean thanks for taking the time and effort to share. I really like your analogy @dksea Link to comment
efes Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Let me think back to that one time yesterday when I managed to relax myself: it's because I ate a piece of food which I actually savored instead of just mindlessly chewing it, and because I remembered how to think mindfully, it led me to a good mood for the rest of the day. Link to comment
efes Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 I'm trying to apply some tips for anxiety and even though I managed to distract myself for significant stretches of time yesterday and today, I'm too anxious to do that now, so I'll try to fill out this panic diary because it helps in distancing yourself from your emotions: Date____________09/21/2018_______ Name__________________________Marc_______________________________ Level (0-10) __________9 or 10_____ Time began: Afternoon __________________ Time ended: _Not yet__________________ Symptoms Being unable to be mindful____________________________________________________________________________ What type? Just anxiety.____________________________________________________________________________ Where are you? __Restaurant______________________________________________________________________ What were you doing when the attack began? __Just eating._______________________________________________ Are you alone? (If not, list who is present) _No, a travel group. (I'm in Korea RN.)__________________________________________________ What were you thinking before the attack? ___Something about being more nervous at lunchtime than breakfast.________________________________________________ What were you thinking during the attack? _____________Something about being afraid of laughing at and making jokes that may be offensive.______________________________________ How did you talk back to the fears? _________________________Trying to distract, but that failed.________________________________ What actions did you take to calm yourself? ________________________Same as above._________________________ How did the attack end? ________________________It hasn't.__________________________________________ How do you want to respond differently next time? ________________________Uh, I'd not panic about my anxiety. Well, of course anxiety makes you panic, but I'll try to tell myself it means nothing.____________________ www.anxietycoach.com Link to comment
taurean Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 I agree using a thought log, writing down the thoughts that are causing the anxiety is a good technique for dealing with emotional "storms". It helps give release from pent-up emotions ; but it also shows the nature of intrusions - which can then be categorised so the right form of CBT can be applied to challenge them. Link to comment
efes Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 https://www.anxietycoach.com/overcoming-panic-attacks.html Link to comment
efes Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 4 hours ago, efes said: I'm trying to apply some tips for anxiety and even though I managed to distract myself for significant stretches of time yesterday and today, I'm too anxious to do that now, so I'll try to fill out this panic diary because it helps in distancing yourself from your emotions: Date____________09/21/2018_______ Name__________________________Marc_______________________________ Level (0-10) __________9 or 10_____ Time began: Afternoon __________________ Time ended: _Not yet__________________ Symptoms Being unable to be mindful____________________________________________________________________________ What type? Just anxiety.____________________________________________________________________________ Where are you? __Restaurant______________________________________________________________________ What were you doing when the attack began? __Just eating._______________________________________________ Are you alone? (If not, list who is present) _No, a travel group. (I'm in Korea RN.)__________________________________________________ What were you thinking before the attack? ___Something about being more nervous at lunchtime than breakfast.________________________________________________ What were you thinking during the attack? _____________Something about being afraid of laughing at and making jokes that may be offensive.______________________________________ How did you talk back to the fears? _________________________Trying to distract, but that failed.________________________________ What actions did you take to calm yourself? ________________________Same as above._________________________ How did the attack end? ________________________It hasn't.__________________________________________ How do you want to respond differently next time? ________________________Uh, I'd not panic about my anxiety. Well, of course anxiety makes you panic, but I'll try to tell myself it means nothing.____________________ www.anxietycoach.com Uh, admittedly though, the relief brought by this short term. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now