I give up it's not OCD

[don't know]

Well, I can't deal anymore. I just want to know the truth. I don't think it's OCD but at the same time I don't want to do these sexual things. I think I don't anyway - I don't know. It's been going on for nearly four years. Maybe I was in denial all this time and using OCD as an excuse? Who knows. 

I'm sorry for this post - I'm so scared and confused. 

[dksea]

It’s OCD. The doubt you are describing is completely standard for OCD. You will never have the 100% certainty OCD is telling you you need, but you really don’t need it even though it feels like you do. 

I am sorry that you are suffering and I hope you will feel better soon, but choosing to believe it’s OCD, even though you aren’t sure, is an important part of that. 

[humbleno1]

if you truly did give up and resign yourself to accepting, you would actually get better, its wanting to know that is the problem, uncertainty exists no getting away from it, If we realize that we can stop looking for this perfect certainty and live accordingly.

[don't know]

I tried to accept my obsessions but I felt ill. I don't know what to do - I feel genuinely confused and I don't think it's OCD. I just want to know the truth, once and for all.

[dksea]

5 hours ago, don't know said:

I tried to accept my obsessions but I felt ill. I don't know what to do - I feel genuinely confused and I don't think it's OCD. I just want to know the truth, once and for all.

We told you the truth, its OCD.  Recovery from OCD takes time and work, its not just about "accepting your obsessions" you have to change your behavior and your mental approach.  You have to accept that your obsessions are just unwanted thoughts, and just because you feel anxiety, does not mean they are worth your time.  You have to prevent yourself from engaging in compulsions, including rumination, about your unwanted thought.  You have to basically unlearn the bad habits that you have fallen in to because of the OCD. 

If you are someone who is out of shape and unhealthy, simply accepting that you need to change isn't enough, you have to ACTUALLY do the work of changing.  You have to change your diet, you have to get more exercise, and you have to work at it over time to get results.  You can't go from overweight and out of shape to slim and athletic in a day or two, it takes weeks maybe months, maybe even years to get to the end goal.  Yes you will make measurable progress along the way.  If your goal is to lose 20 kilos, losing 10 kilos is progress, and you'll likely feel better at that mid point, but regardless it takes time and work.

And you don't have to do it all by yourself, there are people and resources out there to help you, such as this very charity OCD-UK.  There are books and videos and all sorts of material.  What you do is up to you but a good start would be to talk to your doctor, or find one to talk to , particularly one who specializes in treating things like OCD.  You can also get a book or two and start working on self directed CBT.  There is a great amount of help on this site about getting started with treatment.  If you want to get better then thats a great place to start.

[don't know]

I've read other articles and forums (non OCD related) where they ended up acting on things and ended up enjoying them even though they had never thought about it (I don't mean that to be triggering to anyone - but these people didn't have OCD) I'm just worried that will end up happening to me! I'm terrified of the future because of this. 

[Atlantis]

Hi, I'm not sure what your theme of OCD is, but regardless, the mere fact that you're doubting it's OCD, proves it's OCD. The more you try and work it out, the more you'll doubt yourself. OCD has curveballs for every single thread of reassurance we give ourselves or from others. Once you're strong enough to resist the compulsion to work things out and can live with uncertainty, you'll start to see that the OCD thoughts of "I'm a bad person" etc, start to lose their poison. They run out of fuel if you don't argue with them. 

[don't know]

I deal with a range of sexual themes, so it's really distressing

thanks for the reply 

[Atlantis]

Yes I do as well

[paradoxer]

On 17/10/2018 at 08:44, humbleno1 said:

if you truly did give up and resign yourself to accepting, you would actually get better, its wanting to know that is the problem, uncertainty exists no getting away from it, If we realize that we can stop looking for this perfect certainty and live accordingly.

Yep, it's engaging with the question that's the problem. 

[dksea]

14 hours ago, don't know said:

I'm just worried that will end up happening to me! I'm terrified of the future because of this. 

And what if it doesn't happen to you?  What if you spend the rest of your life afraid of something that never happens?  Will worrying about it so much have been worth it? 

People get thoughts all the time about things that make them uncomfortable if they think about it too much.  Most (non-OCD) people can easily dismiss those thoughts.  OCD people have a harder time.  But a thought is still just a thought.  Just because a thought pops in to your head doesn't mean you will actually do anything.  Doing something requires you making an ACTIVE choice to do it.  

For example, there have been moments in my life where i'm driving down the road, i notice the people walking on the sidewalk, and the thought pops in to my head "man it would be so easy to just swerve over and run them over".  Who knows why that thought popped in to my head.  Maybe I'd seen it on a video game like Grand Theft Auto.  Maybe it happened in a movie.  Maybe there was a news story about someone being hit by a car.  Maybe it was just random noise.  Regardless of why the thought popped in to my head, I have not, in over 20 years since I started driving, ever swerved on to a sidewalk and run people over.  Why?  Because I don't want to, and because its wrong.  Because I CHOSE not to do something like that.  I had a thought, I noticed it, I ignored it and continued on with my life. It meant nothing and fortunately my OCD didn't latch on to that thought.  If it had, I certainly would have felt anxiety, but it wouldn't have changed that it was a random, meaningless thought.  I've had thoughts OCD does latch on to.  They have caused me anxiety, sometimes great anxiety, but eventually I learned to accept they are meaningless garbage thoughts.  I'm not perfect at it, I still have to catch myself from ruminating on thoughts, but I recognize the disease for what it is.  You can too.  

Or you can keep going in circles in your mind, feeling terrified and never getting anywhere.  Just like I made the choice not to run people over with my car, you can make the choice not to give in to your compulsions and feed the OCD.

Remember, these two things are true:

1. Basically everyone gets intrusive thoughts, not just OCD people, we are just less good at ignoring them
2. Intrusive thoughts are meaningless junk, they only become meaningful if you choose to make them meaningful.  Having a thought doesn't make you do the thing you think about.  If it did every mystery novel writer in the world would be a serial killer by now.