Dirty hands and the toilet.

[BigDave]

I am trying to rationalise this feeling in my head and it’s driving me insane. Please note the following information isn’t pleasant. 

Whenever I go to the toilet it seems like there is an issue, especially if it involves defecation. In theory it shouldn’t be a problem as long as I mop up and pee that my autistic brother sprays in the bathroom. But there is always a problem with wiping. I have a chronic bowel condition and that means that everything isn’t great. Sometimes I get blood on my hands. Sometimes, rarely I might get worse. I know it’s horrible. And even if I think I don’t, when it comes to pulling up my trousers and/or getting up, if my used hand touches my leg or whatever as I’m doing everything, I feel extremely contaminated. So after I went today, my “dirty” hand touched one of my legs by accident and now I’m toying with having a shower to clean up. Obviously this might be excessive but I feel incredibly unclean. 

Am I alone with this?

[dksea]

12 minutes ago, BigDave said:

I know it’s horrible. 

It’s not horrible. Our hands get dirty sometimes. Wash your hands afterwards (a reasonable amount) and you’re fine.

 

13 minutes ago, BigDave said:

 So after I went today, my “dirty” hand touched one of my legs by accident and now I’m toying with having a shower to clean up. Obviously this might be excessive but I feel incredibly unclean. 

You feel incredibly unclean, but the reality is you are not.  You don’t need to shower. Wash your hands and that’s all you need to do. 

 

16 minutes ago, BigDave said:

Am I alone with this?

You are definitely not alone, there are many OCD sufferers with the same or similar anxieties and compulsions. But like them your interpretation of the level of risk is dramatically out of alignment with the reality. That’s not your fault, it’s how OCD works.  But now that you know that you need to choose to recognize these feelings of contamination  as lies and not give in to the compulsions you think are necessary (but definitely aren’t)

 

[BigDave]

So this morning I have woken up and I have come back to this same point again. And essentially, it all stems from last night when I went to the toilet and then came back to my room and actually touched my waist band of my shorts. My hand felt so contaminated. Obviously in this case, it was just a feeling and I only peed so how bad can it really be? I did have to put on sanitising foam for me to settle though so I regrettably went through with the compulsion. But that got me thinking about the problem as a whole a lot more deeply and I think that in itself might be a problem. 

I was wondering. How can anyone ever consider their pants to be clean? How can anyone ever feel comfortable touching their trousers. I mean, if my hands as much as hover over my genitals or bottom then I’m panicking. 

I think one big thing I can’t get my head around concerns going for a poo and then pulling your pants up. Perhaps I’m just an aggressive wiper (lol) but I find it difficult to fathom that you can wipe your bottom without your hand becoming somewhat contaminated. I’ve had toilet paper be perforated while using it for example or regrettably getting some excrement on me. I don’t think I’m unclean or a slob but it happens. And then, I think how do I pull my pants up. If you were to say to do it as normal, then I ask you how I could ever touch my trousers again in passing without potentially causing contamination. Because I would have poo, even if just remnants on my trousers. Then I’d sit on my bed or chair and then it would be on there too. Or if I want to scratch my hip while on my computer and it’s on that too. It’s a disaster. I mean, I have been contemplating this and I can’t see how it’s avoidable but I’m wondering if I’ve missed something?

[PolarBear]

You are asking the wrong questions. You are trying to figure out how the rest of us come out perfectly clean after doing a banal, everyday task. We aren't and we don't care.

 

Edited December 27, 2018 by PolarBear

[gingerbreadgirl]

I have recently developed some compulsions around this that I am having to challenge. The fact is - and you may hate this fact but it's true - poo is everywhere. Faecal matter gets everywhere. Bacteria get everywhere. There's not a lot you can do about it. I pull my trousers up and probably get germs on my hand. It bothers me but I force myself to do it. Most people don't even consider this. And yet people survive, perfectly fine, day after day and have done for millions of years. 

The fact is by far the biggest threat to your welfare is not poo or bacteria or any other kind of contamination, imagined or not - the biggest real threat is ocd. And you should be focusing all your efforts on challenging that, and getting yourself as contaminated as possible. 

[PolarBear]

Where's that darn like button? Well said, gbg.

[BigDave]

GBG and Polar Bear. Love your comments. Thank you for bearing with me. I know I’m a pain in the butt but I promise you I am taking it all on board. You guys are my inspiration. 

[Guest Phil10]

Most of the time I try and use the toilet before a shower. Sadly my ocd lately has seen me shower as I get a thought my backside isn’t clean. That’s despite me wiping it before I even do the toilet. The toilet brush and plunger also cause me anxiety. I Duno how people clean toilets and just get on with there day and wash there hands for me I need a sterile shower to be extra clean. Toilet water is one of my biggest fears along with poo and urine germs. 

[BigDave]

1 minute ago, Phil10 said:

Most of the time I try and use the toilet before a shower. Sadly my ocd lately has seen me shower as I get a thought my backside isn’t clean. That’s despite me wiping it before I even do the toilet. The toilet brush and plunger also cause me anxiety. I Duno how people clean toilets and just get on with there day and wash there hands for me I need a sterile shower to be extra clean. Toilet water is one of my biggest fears along with poo and urine germs. 

Honestly Phil, just going on what the other two have said, I think the general consensus is that people just do and don’t have second thoughts about it. I think for me and you it differs slightly in so much that I am trying to preserve a sterile haven which is my room. At least in my mind it is. BUT, I think in reality, while I’m sleeping I probably fart, scratch my genitals and all sorts anc touch the rest of my bed but because I’m not aware of it, I can’t knowingly say I know it happens. Truth is that nothing is every truly perfectly clean and we need exposure to microbes and pathogens to build resistance. While the thought of toilet water splashing against you might seem revolting, most of it probably evaporates not long after touching you and you are probably exposed to many of the same bacteria etc in your bathroom anyway. You just can’t physically feel it. With regards to poo and urine, I hear your pain and know it feels repulsive to think that you are spreading that sort of stuff around your person. Even just writing that here makes me feel sick at the thought. But what those above I think are trying to smash home is that, ok, it might not sound nice but the truth is that we, in this regard, are no different than anyone else. Brie Larson is gorgeous right? You’d probably accept her invite for a date. Well, even she has to pull her pants up and she probably isn’t spending too much time thinking which hand she wiped with before she does. 

[Angst]

The thing that concerns me in this thread is your statement about ‘a chronic bowel’ problem where you have ‘blood on your hands’. Have you seen your doctor about this?

[BigDave]

1 hour ago, Angst said:

The thing that concerns me in this thread is your statement about ‘a chronic bowel’ problem where you have ‘blood on your hands’. Have you seen your doctor about this?

Yes I have my friend and I am currently being treated as best as possible.