taurean Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 I am wondering if this might be a good idea? During the week we can all share how best we stop the carrying out of compulsions and all work on doing that. Carrying out a compulsion will always "biff us on the nose"! It only helps to strengthen, not weaken, an obsessive thought so keeps the obsessing, the urge to carry out compulsions, and the disorder all going. Link to comment
jay.b42 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 When I get the thought to do something like peep through the door to see if anyone there , I tell myself ok so you had thought leave it as that. I think getting clarity helps me see clear Link to comment
taurean Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, jay.b42 said: When I get the thought to do something like peep through the door to see if anyone there , I tell myself ok so you had thought leave it as that. I think getting clarity helps me see clear That's very good because an obsessional intrusive thought is, to anyone else, just a thought, and one from which they speedily move on. A slight variance on that is what my therapist told me. She said just think of it, dismissively, as "just my silly obsession" then refocus away back to what you were doing. A real key to me is to gradually become stronger at not responding and refocusing away. The default mode we have sunk into is : obsessional thought give meaning to it react with disorder respond with a compulsion to try and make it better makes things worse, So when we learn to "spoke" this wheel that becomes a circle of distress, we start to recover. Edited October 26, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
taurean Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 What I like about that mini explanation is that it shows the elements that cause the problem, and the heavy toll of carrying out compulsions in the overall scheme of CBT - including understanding OCD so we stop giving belief to intrusions, changing our behavioural responses, applying exposure and response prevention etc. Link to comment
BelAnna Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 8 hours ago, taurean said: I am wondering if this might be a good idea? During the week we can all share how best we stop the carrying out of compulsions and all work on doing that. Carrying out a compulsion will always "biff us on the nose"! It only helps to strengthen, not weaken, an obsessive thought so keeps the obsessing, the urge to carry out compulsions, and the disorder all going. That sounds like a great idea! Link to comment
Emsie Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 On 26/10/2018 at 01:46, taurean said: I am wondering if this might be a good idea? During the week we can all share how best we stop the carrying out of compulsions and all work on doing that. Carrying out a compulsion will always "biff us on the nose"! It only helps to strengthen, not weaken, an obsessive thought so keeps the obsessing, the urge to carry out compulsions, and the disorder all going. It’s a great idea Roy, thank you. Ruminating for me and for most I’m sure is the hardest compulsion to crack. I’m starting to try just simply saying ‘not now’ or ‘its not going to help’ to myself when I catch myself ruminating or when I feel the urge to squirrel myself away to actively ruminate. I’m going to keep it really simple with saying those things to myself and perservering and see how I go. Link to comment
lostinme Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 On 28/10/2018 at 14:34, Emsie said: It’s a great idea Roy, thank you. Ruminating for me and for most I’m sure is the hardest compulsion to crack. I’m starting to try just simply saying ‘not now’ or ‘its not going to help’ to myself when I catch myself ruminating or when I feel the urge to squirrel myself away to actively ruminate. I’m going to keep it really simple with saying those things to myself and perservering and see how I go. Hi Emsie, hope your ok and well What helped me the most to stop ruminating was to just think I’m not going there and continue with what I was doing beforehand and I’d do this each and every time it tried to drag me in. It takes lots and lots of practice and you will have times when you don’t even realise your doing it, but as soon as you do just do exactly the same and refocus your attention back to the job in hand. You have to be really careful not to neutralise the thoughts because this will just keep the cycle going. Hope this helps lost x Link to comment
Emsie Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 1 hour ago, lostinme said: Hi Emsie, hope your ok and well What helped me the most to stop ruminating was to just think I’m not going there and continue with what I was doing beforehand and I’d do this each and every time it tried to drag me in. It takes lots and lots of practice and you will have times when you don’t even realise your doing it, but as soon as you do just do exactly the same and refocus your attention back to the job in hand. You have to be really careful not to neutralise the thoughts because this will just keep the cycle going. Hope this helps lost x Hi Lost, I'm not too bad thank you. Certainly better, but a long way to go, but I feel I have made progress. I hope you're ok and well too and that your homework is going well. Thank you so much for your reply, that's really helpful. You are so right too about being careful not to neutralise the thoughts, it is something I do, usually with self reassurance, so thank you for highlighting that for me as I can now be more vigilant to it. Best wishes as always, Em X Link to comment
taurean Posted October 29, 2018 Author Share Posted October 29, 2018 Well I think the week is starting well. Compulsions can be sneaky under-the-radar such that we don't notice we are doing them - but they still connect with the OCD thoughts and strengthen, not weaken, them. Hidden compulsions can be such as unconsciously avoiding things - that's one to watch out for. Avoidance also adds restrictions to our lives, creates phobic responses. And how often do we look to pass off googling as essential homework - trying to work out an OCD intrusion such as false memory is an unhelpful compulsion. So let's look beyond the obvious and uncloak, and stop, those hidden compulsions - they might just be what's keeping you in the clutches of your obsessional thinking. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 29, 2018 Author Share Posted October 29, 2018 (edited) If we are carrying out some mental practice or physical thing the purpose of which has the intention of reducing anxiety, then it may well be a compulsion. It might be a mental attempt to "make things better", or some unrecognised neutralising activity such as trying to make a "bad" word better be thinking of a good one. But exercises designed to help us shed our obsessional thoughts can be good, so long as we have first accepted that they are the work of OCD so, although they appear in our brain, we aren't responsible for their content. There are various methods that may help to ease thoughts away - such as a meditation imagining the thoughts leaving the mind, attaching to leaves falling into a stream then floating away. Or taking a " helicopter view ", imagining us looking down from above and not reacting to the thoughts. We can imagine the thoughts as storms, but reminding ourselves that storms have a finite duration, after which there is calm. Edited October 29, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
lostinme Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 On 29/10/2018 at 22:05, Emsie said: Hi Lost, I'm not too bad thank you. Certainly better, but a long way to go, but I feel I have made progress. I hope you're ok and well too and that your homework is going well. Thank you so much for your reply, that's really helpful. You are so right too about being careful not to neutralise the thoughts, it is something I do, usually with self reassurance, so thank you for highlighting that for me as I can now be more vigilant to it. Best wishes as always, Em X That’s great news Emsie, I’m so pleased for you keep up the good work I just wanted to help make you aware of this, because this is something that prevented me from moving forward and to be honest it took me some time to even realise when I was neutralising a thought and also reassuring myself too. Homework as been going really well and I’m still pushing myself forward. The only issue I have at the moment is I keep falling ill, I think this must be the 5th cold I’ve had in the last couple of months or so I no sooner get over one I come down with another and this one is really taking it’s toll on me, just hoping I will be feeling much better for the conference Best wishes always lost x Link to comment
Emsie Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 14 hours ago, lostinme said: That’s great news Emsie, I’m so pleased for you keep up the good work I just wanted to help make you aware of this, because this is something that prevented me from moving forward and to be honest it took me some time to even realise when I was neutralising a thought and also reassuring myself too. Homework as been going really well and I’m still pushing myself forward. The only issue I have at the moment is I keep falling ill, I think this must be the 5th cold I’ve had in the last couple of months or so I no sooner get over one I come down with another and this one is really taking it’s toll on me, just hoping I will be feeling much better for the conference Best wishes always lost x Thank you so much, Lost. And I’m so glad you’ve made me aware of it.....I’ve caught myself neutralising thoughts so much more now, so a huge thank you. I’m so glad your homework has been going really well, that’s wonderful, a huge well done! Sorry to hear you’ve been unwell with colds and this one is taking its toll on you. I hope it goes really soon and that you don’t catch anymore. I hope you feel better really soon and that you have a great time at the conference. All my best wishes, Em xxx Link to comment
taurean Posted October 31, 2018 Author Share Posted October 31, 2018 How are we all doing with leaving our obsessional thoughts and images be, refocusing away and resisting that urge to compulse? Link to comment
taurean Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) Looks like californiadreaming is currently doing very well at stopping compulsions @californiadreaming Edited November 1, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
lostinme Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 31/10/2018 at 13:00, Emsie said: Thank you so much, Lost. And I’m so glad you’ve made me aware of it.....I’ve caught myself neutralising thoughts so much more now, so a huge thank you. I’m so glad your homework has been going really well, that’s wonderful, a huge well done! Sorry to hear you’ve been unwell with colds and this one is taking its toll on you. I hope it goes really soon and that you don’t catch anymore. I hope you feel better really soon and that you have a great time at the conference. All my best wishes, Em xxx Thank you Emsie, your such a sweetie to be honest I’m dreading it, it’s the first time I’ve been away from home on my own so if I can achieve this I can achieve more. But sadly this week as been a bit of a downer and I’ve not managed my homework set but I’ve been really ill and I’ve had some emotional stuff happening so you know stress only makes things worse, but hey I can get back to it as soon as things settle again and I’m feeling better Really glad it was helpful for you, keep up the great work and never give up xx Link to comment
taurean Posted November 2, 2018 Author Share Posted November 2, 2018 There's some good work been going on across the boards. Well done, and keep up that good work. Compulsions have to go if we are to break free. Link to comment
Emsie Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) On 2 November 2018 at 19:27, lostinme said: Thank you Emsie, your such a sweetie to be honest I’m dreading it, it’s the first time I’ve been away from home on my own so if I can achieve this I can achieve more. But sadly this week as been a bit of a downer and I’ve not managed my homework set but I’ve been really ill and I’ve had some emotional stuff happening so you know stress only makes things worse, but hey I can get back to it as soon as things settle again and I’m feeling better Really glad it was helpful for you, keep up the great work and never give up xx Bless you, thank you Lost. I'm sorry that you're dreading it, but you can do it and absolutely see it as a big achievement and a catalyst for even more. You'll have a great time when you're there and you'll feel so good for going. I'm sorry to hear too that you've had a difficult week, yes stress makes things so much worse. Of course, you can get back to it as soon as things settle down and you're feeling better. You can't do too much as you have to look after yourself. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I really hope you feel better soon and things settle again soon too. Take care, xxx Edited November 3, 2018 by Emsie Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 This is such a great thread Link to comment
Bodger Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Could be a bad idea. I think you should maybe advise who should try this, I would say only people who are advanced in therapy. Otherwise the negative effects of failing could be detrimental to health. I am doing well, but could I do a week without any compulsions, nope. I would bet most people in here couldn't do it, except maybe the members who claim they are cured but then whats the point for them. Link to comment
taurean Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 (edited) This isn't a literal absolute concept though. It isn't possible to go "cold turkey" and just stop unless, as with me as a child, they hadn't yet become overpowering. My purpose here was to start a week, and hopefully longer, of a thread where we work together to help wean ourselves off compulsions in a structured way. I am doing very well, but still have to work this. When we were leaving a car park in the town centre last week, I had the compulsive urge to go back and check that I had locked the car. But did I go back and check? No, I realised it was a compulsion, and that I wouldn't have left the car without going through the simple process of locking it before putting the key in my pocket. So I successfully avoided what was a surprisingly powerful urge. And that's what we all need to learn how to do. Edited November 4, 2018 by taurean Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I agree I think it's a great thing to aim for x Link to comment
ExpectoPatronum Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 I have a question if that’s ok. I’ve really cut down on my compulsions this week, but I feel this overwhelming sense of depression...greater than I have ever felt before. I just feel so heavy and dark that I hardly have the ability to do anything with my thoughts. I’m just wondering if this is a normal occurrence or even related to doing fewer compulsions. Any ideas? I’m just not sure whether there’s a correlation or this is just a random observation. Link to comment
taurean Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 When we win back time lost to OCD, we do need to refill that time beneficially or there is a void and we can experience the emotions you describe. Link to comment
taurean Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 Avoidance is a very restrictive compulsion. Some years ago we visited a relative and told her we would like to take her to Leamington for the afternoon. She said she had a phobia about it, as last time she was there she had her handbag stolen in the shopping mall. We told her she needed to go back there and accept it was just a negative experience, and slay the phobia dragon We took her ; we even went back to the shopping mall with her and together we slayed the dragon Leamington is a gorgeous place, my mother and uncle's hometown - I didn't want my aunt to fear going there again Link to comment
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