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bruces

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Caramoole

Caramoole

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, bruces said:

i know this kind of talk isn't helpful but it just seems so impossible when we live in such a difficult world 

It isn't.  Virtually nothing is impossible Bruce's, difficult yes.....but again, it's down to you to make changes if you want a better existance.

I am going to close this thread for now because it isn't benefiting you to continue in this way.  Make an appointment with your therapist and start tgat process

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Caramoole

Caramoole

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It's not impossible to change your thinking process, and hence your life, by making changes to the way you currently react and respond.  However, this has been explained many times, in many, many ways.  It's time to move forward from that point and start making some of those changes.  You don't respond or engage with that Bruce's, you just continue with the melancholy and introspection which is why I recommend you engage with the professional therapy you have in place.  I think it will serve you better at the moment.

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dksea

dksea

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, bruces said:

I do try to stop ruminating but I find it next to impossible,even distraction techniques don't seem to work 

How long?  For a few minutes? A few hours? A few days?  Stopping rumination takes time, probably a lot for someone who is in deep as you seem to be.  Its going to be difficult at first, you aren't going to be very successful at it because you are just getting started and you have a lot to unlearn.

Could you run a marathon if you tried today?  Like right now go out and run a marathon?  Not even in a specific time, just complete a marathon without stopping, without walking, but run the whole thing?  My guess (unless distance running is your hobby/profession) is the answer is a big no.  You would fail, you would fail miserably.  Depending on how out of shape you are you probably wouldn't get very far at all.  Does that mean its impossible to run a marathon?  Of course not, people do it all the time.  How does that happen?  Simple, they train for it.  They practice over a LONG period of time to be able to do it.  Or play a piano concerto. Or program a video game.  Or paint a portrait.  Or cook a world class meal.  People who do these things don't just wake up one day, decide to do it and BAM its done, they work hard, they prepare, they put in effort, they fail many times and eventually, slowly, little by little, they improve and then succeed.

It is an objective fact that you can beat OCD.  We know, without a doubt, that it can be done because millions of people have and continue to do so.  Millions of people everyday who have OCD go on and live fulfilling and rewarding lives.  Not because they have some secret, not because they are better than you, but because they have made the choice to put in the effort to solve the problem.  It is not impossible.

So if you want it to happen you have to CHOOSE to do the work and make it happen.  If it doesn't, its because you are choosing not to do that, not because you can't, not because its impossible, but because you won't.  You have two choices:

1. Make the choice, put in the work, and get better
2. Keep lamenting how terrible things are and how nothing ever gets better

But if you choose 2, the only reason its true is because you are making it true, you are choosing not to make things better.  We can't fix it for you, we can help you, others can help you, but ONLY if you choose path 1.  

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taurean

taurean

Posted
Posted

Great advice dksea. 

A doomladen feeling that the world is terrible is classic depression thinking. 

The world's been a terrible place for years, centuries even, if we apply a depressive take on it. 

Comes back to the old classic - change what you can, accept what you can't. 

Dksea's choice 1 is the change what you can route. It's a choice I made a very long time ago, after being told I had similar choices in CBT therapy. 

Apathy won't get us anywhere, neither will retained regret and guilt. 

And we are never too old to change our habits and our thinking. 

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taurean

taurean

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Posted

Oh bruces - you are back on the turntable again, asking the same questions in a slightly different format. 

If you only tried some of the excellent suggestions you have been given, then you would become a new person. 

The plan you are looking for isn't a difficult one to make. I'll suggest for starters. 

Work towards leaving the past behind. It's over, let it be. 

Stop feeling guilty for the distress your OCD has caused to others - we sufferers are not to blame for that. 

Work that ACE therapy as I described it to you. Make an achievement, get closer to others and do something enjoyable every day. When you feel better for this, look to add a little more per day. 

When you get the urge to make those unhelpful questions stop, note it, and refocus onto something else. 

How about that for a plan? 

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Caramoole

Caramoole

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, bruces said:

Does anybody struggle dbadly with existentialism? 

Bruce's, if we just keep on down this track the thread serves no beneficial purpose.

Where's the beginning of that plan?  It's time to make some changes.

Have you started a plan?  Have you had/made an appointment with your therapist?  If not, why not?

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taurean

taurean

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, PhilM said:

Maybe it's not down to the therapist but your mind constantly finding different variations on the same theme?

Spot on I think Phil. 

It's we that have to make the changes - lift the anchors that are binding us in the same - restrictive - place and make a better future. 

The past is done, we have to accept it - then dismiss it. 

If we remain  stuck with feelings of guilt, stuck in the past, without changing that mindset, we cannot move forward.

 

Edited by taurean
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Caramoole

Caramoole

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, bruces said:

Maybe I'm not sure,I just wish I'd made something of my life I feel such a failure 

Bruce's this constant type of posting serves you no good purpose at all and I am tempted to close this thread.  Please let's have a change of tack and use the thread to work on the positive changes you need to attempt, including either making an appointment with you therapist or actively, immediately sourcing a new therapist.

Although I understand what Phil and Roy are saying about it perhaps being more about your thinking process than the therapist........Personally, I do hold some concerns about a therapist who tells you (if indeed they did and you understood properly) on your first appointment that you'll need to be in therapy for the rest of your life.  How much/what type of research did you do into sourcing this therapist?

So, no more of these constant, one-line, melancholy comments Bruces.  Get proactive about your road to recovery :)

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