Why do psychologists do this??

[ineedahug]

I really wanted to get some help when I went to my college counselor. We talked for a little while and he seemed like a good guy.  Then he said,

"Have you been working out? You're looking really fit-- your biceps and triceps"

This was so disappointing to hear. Why? Well fitness is not entirely subjective. I was skinny-fat and my arms were tiny.  Please take my word for it-- I was not fit by any stretch of the imagination.

 All this did was make me worry that I couldn't see my body accurately. So I asked several other people and they all agreed with me that I was not fit.  One person even laughed and said my arms were puny. 

You could say it was just the psychologist's subjective opinion even if it wasn't necessarily true, but I don't think he actually believed what he was saying. He works at a college where a majority of the students are athletes. He knows what fitness looks like.

I know it sounds a bit backwards, but does it make sense why this bothers me so much? 

I was wearing a tight athletic shirt at the time (it was all that was clean). It made my beer belly even more noticeable, so definitely wasn't doing me any favors. But he probably assumed I dressed like that because I was feeling good about my body, and wanted to encourage it.

Why would a counselor do that? It is manipulative, and even more importantly, it's not helpful. Telling someone they should hit the gym would be helpful. Encouraging them to think something that isn't true-- that is not beneficial.

It's been like this all my life. My family walked on eggshells and would never say anything that helped me improve as a person. Who can you depend on for something like this? Shouldn't you be able to depend on your psychologist to be completely candid with you-- or are they just trying to make you feel better in the short term. 

For this reason I will not see another psychologist. All they want to do it stroke your ego so you keep paying to see them, even if they have to grasp at straws. 

 

Edited November 1, 2018 by ineedahug
Clarity, fixed typos

[PolarBear]

You are way over-thinking this. You should have told him he needed glasses/better glasses, dismissed what he said and got on with your day.

[ineedahug]

27 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

You are way over-thinking this. You should have told him he needed glasses/better glasses, dismissed what he said and got on with your day.

Ok..  But I didn't dismiss it. 

Can you/anyone relate to this?

I want to understand if anyone else feels betrayed by "pretty lies", and also want to understand if this is normal for psychologists to "help" people just by trying to make them temporarily feel better, or is there job to offer genuine constructive advice.

I feel really alone with stuff like this. 

Edited November 1, 2018 by ineedahug

[PolarBear]

I reiterate what I said before.

You are looking for reassurance, looking for someone to tell you your thoughts and feelings are correct. I'm telling you that this is a very minor thing and should be dismissed. But this minor thing is perfect for OCD to latch onto and try to make into a big deal. Don't let it.

Let it go.

[Bodger]

I think he was being nice. Let it go as that.

People are strange, don't let OCD get hold of it.