Compulsions are bad, and I'm a failure for doing them. Correct?

[ineedahug]

I've been really discouraged by my failures when it comes to managing OCD.  Every day I do compulsions.

I have mentioned on this forum before, but I really really really hate compulsions. I'm afraid my compulsions will make me crazy. They usually make me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Then I'll post on this forum and (sometimes) get further scolded for doing compulsions, as if my own thoughts are not enough to bring me down. 

On the other hand, every day I take steps towards recovery. I refuse to wash my hands even though my head is screaming at me to do it. 

But these steps forward never really get attention in my mind, and nobody ever says "you're making progress. You're doing well." Is it weird to want a little encouragement and positivity (providing it is genuine and deserved)? 

How are people supposed to get better when all they ever hear-- both externally and internally-- is that they keep failing?

I get it. Compulsions are bad. I shouldn't have done compulsions yesterday, today, or ever. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry that I've done this to myself. I'm so very very sorry. Go ahead and tell me I'm right to feel this way. I'm right to HATE myself because I do compulsions, and compulsions are bad. You wouldn't be helping me, but you would at least be agreeing with me. 

 

[gingerbreadgirl]

Hi ineedahug

I totally think that resisting even just one compulsion one time deserves a massive pat on the back!! It's so important to cheer ourselves on when fighting ocd - it's bloomin difficult and most of us fail a million times a day but what matters is that we pick ourselves up and keep going. I try to keep a record of all the times I resist a compulsion  - and forget the failures. Then I can look back on my successes and think, hey, go me!

You should feel really good about any time you refuse to play ocd's game. Forget the rest. 

[lostinme]

1 hour ago, ineedahug said:

I've been really discouraged by my failures when it comes to managing OCD.  Every day I do compulsions.

I have mentioned on this forum before, but I really really really hate compulsions. I'm afraid my compulsions will make me crazy. They usually make me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Then I'll post on this forum and (sometimes) get further scolded for doing compulsions, as if my own thoughts are not enough to bring me down. 

On the other hand, every day I take steps towards recovery. I refuse to wash my hands even though my head is screaming at me to do it. 

But these steps forward never really get attention in my mind, and nobody ever says "you're making progress. You're doing well." Is it weird to want a little encouragement and positivity (providing it is genuine and deserved)? 

How are people supposed to get better when all they ever hear-- both externally and internally-- is that they keep failing?

I get it. Compulsions are bad. I shouldn't have done compulsions yesterday, today, or ever. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry that I've done this to myself. I'm so very very sorry. Go ahead and tell me I'm right to feel this way. I'm right to HATE myself because I do compulsions, and compulsions are bad. You wouldn't be helping me, but you would at least be agreeing with me. 

 

Hi ineedahug,

Really sorry to hear your feeling so down at the moment. Firstly I’d like to say well done for taking some steps towards recovery 

Compulsions are bad and I think we can all say we don’t like doing them and they are what keep the OCD going. However it’s easier said than done to just stop them, if it was so simple we wouldn’t have a disorder and there wouldn’t be a need for such forums.

I think both encouragement and positivity is one of the most important things on our journey, celebrate every little success no matter how small, make a point of doing this every time, praise yourself for every little achievement you’ve made. Stop seeing yourself as a failure it is very counterproductive and causes negativity that only brings your mood down and makes you feel less likely to continue. We have to remember that we are doing this for us, so encouragement and praise need to come more from within ourselves because it’s that that keeps us moving forward.

Are you currently having CBT? and working through a heirachy from the easiest to the hardest? This really does help, it is the best treatment for OCD. 

Dont see yourself as a failure because you didn’t manage to stop doing a compulsion, just think ok I didn’t manage it this time but I could possibly do it next time and carry on with your day. It takes lots and lots of hard work, Courage and practice but eventually you will get there one step at a time 

[PolarBear]

I don't think anyone here has scolded you. If that was the case, the perpetrator would get a swift kick in the tambourine by Caramoole or Snowy.

Resisting compulsions is hard. When you do resist, it's a win. But it's one small piece in a huge battle. You have to do it over and over.

I suspect one of your big issues is what you tell yourself. You have to be hard with yourself but not too hard. 

And no, you aren't a failure when you do compulsions. You only fail when you give up.

[dksea]

3 hours ago, PolarBear said:

And no, you aren't a failure when you do compulsions. You only fail when you give up.

Read this.  Then read it again.  Then read it again.  Memorize it.  Remind yourself of it anytime you feel down because of not resisting a compulsion.  It is the truth!