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Need advice asap please... panicking


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On 10/12/2018 at 22:05, gingerbreadgirl said:

OK so by your logic, you should punish yourself forever on the basis of no evidence. 

How do you know you didn't sleepwalk last night, molest a child and come back to bed, waking up this morning with no memory? There is absolutely no evidence that didn't happen, none whatsoever, it is an absolute possibility.  So are you going to torment yourself over that possibility? Go to the police? Tell them you molested someone in your sleep last night?

Sounds kinda stupid when you put it like that - I'm sure you have many arguments that your situation isn't like this but really you have none, nada. It is exactly the same in every possible way except you have gone over and over this. 

Thanks GBG.

I know I didnt go out and sleep walk but I do know I was drunk at a party..seems a bit different to me.

Hope you are ok too. X

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On 12/12/2018 at 06:02, gingerbreadgirl said:

How do you know this?

I think this is an important point because actually you don't know this. You don't know it at all you have no evidence either way - just as you don't with your party. So why are you not worried about it? 

But I didn't get any images/flashbacks or anxious feelings when I woke up, unlike after the wedding.x

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4 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

OK here's another question :

Are you 100% certain you committed this crime? If not why not? 

I'm not 100% but some days it feels very close to that so maybe the reason it not 100% is because I was drunk? See this is too difficult 

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5 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Why has the victim not complained or outed you in all these years do you think?

Because lots don't. You see it on the news all the time that it comes out years later. I feel so sick now

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OK why would you have done this even if drunk? You have absolutely no interest in children. You don't suddenly become a paedophile even when drunk. The people in the news are paedophiles and sexual abusers. You are not. Why on earth would you have suddenly have done this? What would have been your motivation? There is absolutely no reason. Saz this is ocd, we can try and get that through to you a hundred thousand ways but only YOU can decide enough is enough and stop wasting your life on something so blatantly untrue. 

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9 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

OK why would you have done this even if drunk? You have absolutely no interest in children. You don't suddenly become a paedophile even when drunk. The people in the news are paedophiles and sexual abusers. You are not. Why on earth would you have suddenly have done this? What would have been your motivation? There is absolutely no reason. Saz this is ocd, we can try and get that through to you a hundred thousand ways but only YOU can decide enough is enough and stop wasting your life on something so blatantly untrue. 

I'm so sorry GBG. I think I'm struggling in everyway possible because of everything that's happened. Everything seems so intense at the moment and I think I highly stressed out, especially as Christmas is just round the corner. I've been feeling pressure in my head and ears and had pains in my stomach. 

All that you have said above is true and I don't know why I think it. I know it does sound ridiculous I Just don't understand the sheer worry the next day, never experienced that before. I know I'm like a broken record. Trying to be strong but this worry, coupled with a horrendous breakup and Xmas is causing distress. I am at the Manchester Xmas markets tomorrow so really hoping to relax a little bit, although I don't even want to go as feel like this worry is making me want to avoid alcohol too.

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I know you're going through a really hard time :( but try not to let real life worries get tangled up in OCD worries.  Go to the market, enjoy it, have a drink and do all the things you would do if none of these worries were present.  Take care of yourself and your family and try not to pick up the stick every time OCD throws it to you - just leave it be, leave it alone. x

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On 15/12/2018 at 10:11, gingerbreadgirl said:

I know you're going through a really hard time :( but try not to let real life worries get tangled up in OCD worries.  Go to the market, enjoy it, have a drink and do all the things you would do if none of these worries were present.  Take care of yourself and your family and try not to pick up the stick every time OCD throws it to you - just leave it be, leave it alone. x

Didn't end up going to the markets :( to be honest just felt too stressed and run down. Tomorrow is a new day I guess x

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Hi

Please can anyone help put my already tired and worried mind at ease? Since becoming a single mum I've become increasingly worried about the kids and how they would be left with nobody if my memory is true. As you can imagine this is adding pressure to an already horrible and stressful time.

On 14/12/2018 at 22:31, gingerbreadgirl said:

OK why would you have done this even if drunk? You have absolutely no interest in children. You don't suddenly become a paedophile even when drunk. The people in the news are paedophiles and sexual abusers. You are not. Why on earth would you have suddenly have done this? What would have been your motivation? There is absolutely no reason. Saz this is ocd, we can try and get that through to you a hundred thousand ways but only YOU can decide enough is enough and stop wasting your life on something so blatantly untrue. 

Going back to this GBG (and I'm sorry I am) but, for example, according to my mum, when my dad's been drunk he's tried to wee in a wardrobe instead of the toilet, I've heard a lot of men do this when drunk. Someone I know tried to crack on to an ironing board they were so drunk and what about all these violent crimes where one of the couple stabs the other one in a fit of rage because they were so drunk (something they wouldn't normally do)....So can you see my worry? Caramoole said why haven't they come forward of true but as we know that's not always the case.

Adding to all this I'm so worried again about posting on here. :(

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5 hours ago, Saz said:

Going back to this GBG (and I'm sorry I am) but, for example, according to my mum, when my dad's been drunk he's tried to wee in a wardrobe instead of the toilet, I've heard a lot of men do this when drunk. Someone I know tried to crack on to an ironing board they were so drunk and what about all these violent crimes where one of the couple stabs the other one in a fit of rage because they were so drunk (something they wouldn't normally do)....So can you see my worry? Caramoole said why haven't they come forward of true but as we know that's not always the case.

Is it possible for a person to do something bad that they don't remember?  Sure.  I can find examples of people who have done crazy or awful or weird things while drunk, while on medication/drugs, while sleep walking, etc.  But just because something CAN happen doesn't mean it WILL happen or even that it DID happen.  OCD sufferers are often bad at recognizing this distinction and will default to assuming the worst, even when that logically makes no sense.  No matter how much we remember, how many people tell us otherwise, how much evidence we can find that we didn't do something, its ALWAYS possible to construct a scenario, to an absurd degree perhaps, that allows for the possibility of an anxiety being true.  Thats simply the reality of being an OCD sufferer.  You are seeking absolute certainty, an impossible goal.  You have to choose to accept probability instead.  The probability is you didn't do what you think you fear you did, and live your life as if that belief were true.  It will take time to stop feeling anxiety from the intrusive thoughts, but you can still move forward, you can still choose to live your life as if the worry isn't true (because its probably not).  The alternative is to continue to live in agony and waste time you could be enjoying with your family and friends and yourself.  The continued anxiety won't do you, or anyone, any good.  Its best to choose a different path.
 

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6 hours ago, dksea said:

Is it possible for a person to do something bad that they don't remember?  Sure.  I can find examples of people who have done crazy or awful or weird things while drunk, while on medication/drugs, while sleep walking, etc.  But just because something CAN happen doesn't mean it WILL happen or even that it DID happen.  OCD sufferers are often bad at recognizing this distinction and will default to assuming the worst, even when that logically makes no sense.  No matter how much we remember, how many people tell us otherwise, how much evidence we can find that we didn't do something, its ALWAYS possible to construct a scenario, to an absurd degree perhaps, that allows for the possibility of an anxiety being true.  Thats simply the reality of being an OCD sufferer.  You are seeking absolute certainty, an impossible goal.  You have to choose to accept probability instead.  The probability is you didn't do what you think you fear you did, and live your life as if that belief were true.  It will take time to stop feeling anxiety from the intrusive thoughts, but you can still move forward, you can still choose to live your life as if the worry isn't true (because its probably not).  The alternative is to continue to live in agony and waste time you could be enjoying with your family and friends and yourself.  The continued anxiety won't do you, or anyone, any good.  Its best to choose a different path.
 

:goodpost:

What Dksea says is absolutely true.  Your quest for certainty is driving you round the bend and has done for years - it can never ever be found. You have to take real steps to hold firm over this and stop all your compulsions.  

Your thread here is a prime example of how compulsions never work.  I misguidedly gave you some reassurance in my post above, which appeared to make you feel temporarily better.  But then you came back with another thread about how my logic could be wrong because of X, Y and Z.  This is what always happens.  You search for a way out of this, OCD comes back with more. 

There is NO way out of this other than to take a step back, accept you will always feel an element of uncertainty over this and that you have to make peace with that.  

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
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The difference, Saz, is that there is plain and obvious evidence that one person stabbed another. Wound, blood, etc. There is NO evidence you did anything wrong. None.

So where does that leave you? You can choose to believe you did and live in a panic state forever  or you can choose to believe it's all a lie and get on with your life. 

But, continually looking for proof and looking for parallels with other stories will simply keep you stuck.

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