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Positive Turning Point!


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Hi all, 

 

So i had my 5th CBT session yesterday, Ive given her a list of potential triggers that we can create graded ERP excercises from, we've created a formulation and distinguished alot of my compulsive behaviours are overt too. which is great. But she wanted to show me an article written by David Veale on the risk asessments when it comes to OCD. It highlighted that some proffessionals in mental health can actually cause OCD to become worse in people and create alot of damage particularly if they dont or havnt specialised in OCD, the risk asessments they do because of the nature of intrusions. 

So for me this was many months ago i had self harm intrusions that had focused on sucide, it was enough to terrify me into carrying out alot of compulsive behaviour and a real need to feel safe along with major reassurence seeking all of the behaviours and the level of distress i felt, i recognised instantly as OCD.

The first professional (family social worker) decided it wasnt and i was in denial, that actually i really was sucidal and at risk so immediatly took me to the hospital, on the way there said it was important i was truthful because i knew so much about OCD & very articulate that i had the ability to convince people i was ok when really i wasnt. At that point i began doubting wether it was ocd or not, meant i was unable to take on board anything the mental health team said because i felt id convinced them i was ok and that once home i was at risk and felt unable to keep myself safe, social worker then said hubby had to quit his job! 

No suprise that her comments intensified everything because of her comments i was convinced that i was suicidal and was terrified id lose control and act on the intrusions so much so barely slept or ate due to such extreme anxiety and distress. as i sat in the back of the ambulance i cried my heart out to the paramedic that i no longer wished to live yet the idea of it seriously hurt my heart and i was doing and thinking anything to cling on. 

the 2nd proffesional that really did her damage was a duty Psychiatrist, when i sat and told her i couldnt figure the thoughts out anymore sat and said 'post natal depression' even though i have never been depressed and wanted to live my life. at my lowest point she sat and delievered a certainty that she should never have given, she told me that if my anxiety continued then she was seriously concerned i would act impulsivly before giving me diazepam and sending me home again, no suprise that i no longer felt able to keep myself safe because i believed everything she said, why wouldnt i, she was a psychiatrist! 

after that ive spent many months trying to figure out if its all been OCD or not and what the thoughts mean, to completely avoiding certain emotions and feelings, avoiding situations because of the way ive interpreted certain emotions and thier meanings .....all because 2 people told me i was wrong and what i was experiencing wasnt OCD. 

When my therapist read me that article i feel so free of it all and really felt like a turning point in my recovery! Ive recognised that i forward think, have goals and plans for the future, changes i want to make and goals to work within mental health particularly in setting up a OCD peer support group in our area. I feel such a weight lifted and optimistic but most of all..she validated the way i felt about those peoples comments, it makes me feel really sad that there are other people out there that put trust in some  proffessionals that can get it utterly wrong. 

 

David Veales recommendations and inline with NICE guidelines is that if there is a diagnosis of OCD and it isnt thier field then they should always seek the advice from someone who specialises in OCD. he gives some case study examples about a guy with sexual intrustion about children, the proffesional rather than seek assistance, rang social services which saw his children placed at risk, wasnt allowed around children unsupervised which ultimatly led to futher compulsive behaviour and a mistrust of mental.health proffesionals. 

Part of me feels quite angry that i was right all along, that i knew it was OCD and allowed others to convince me it wasnt, robbed me of over 6 months of enjoying my youngest baby growing up and reaching his milestones, reduced us to now living on benefits and me not being allowed to have more than 7 tablets on a prescription a week but most of all put me in a place emotionally that i felt nothing but guilt & confusion constantly. 

 

Sorry for the long post, just needed to vent in a place where there are people who understand. 

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Hi Becky

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences and how your were let down by professionals who didn't have the knowledge they need to have.  I wish I could say this was rare but it does happen.  I experienced problems myself with IAPT practitioners who became obsessed with this line of questioning and spent the first 4 sessions going over and over needless delving.  Fortunately, I was prepared for this, knew of the risk assessment document, printed it off, presented it to them and actively challenged them.  Sadly, they don't have the autonomy to make a personal decision and have to follow policies and procedures as laid down by their organisation.

Luckily, awareness and and education is improving and hopefully fewer people will experience this in the future.

I'm sorry you've had to go through this :( 

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Hi @beckyboo, to echo what Caramoole said, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, it sounds awful.  I wish more people understood about OCD but it sounds like your current therapist is fantastic, not just in helping you with your OCD now, but helping  you deal with the unfortunate way you were treated in the past.  I hope recovery continues to go really well for you!!

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