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What are Intrusive thoughts


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Hi, I’m looking for some feedback. I am a bit confused about what is actually going on and what I am struggling with. I know no one can diagnose and I already have a diagnosis, but I am a bit confused about the symptom of intrusive thoughts.

So I have been trying to understand if I actually have intrusive thoughts. I am not sure what it means to have them.

I say this because I carry out certain compulsions daily and I know I do them because I fear getting ill/injured/death. It is almost like carry everything out, but don’t have thoughts that enter my mind.

However my anxiety is severe and I feel awful most of the day. I am constantly anxious about illness/injury/death. My anxiety is so bad that I am struggling to manage with my restrictive life. Ironically my fear makes me suicidal. Yes my fears make me turn towards my biggest fear and just a week ago I acted on suicidal on thoughts. 

I have been referred for assessment for treatment for OCD, but I keep feeling that I am wasting their time and funding. If I am not getting intrusive thoughts, but only doing compulsions is there a possibility that this isn’t actually OCD?

I just don’t understand the intrusive thoughts part clearly enough. The only time I can see where it effects me is when I question myself as a person. So when I am with others I get thoughts that lead me to question what I say and what I do and what that says about me as a person. I can recognise these thoughts disturb me and I then try and workout who I am as a person.

Other than that I can’t really attach any intrusive thoughts to the other stuff. It just seems like a constant anxiety that I try to relieve through actions.

Sorry for the length of this just wanted some feedback on what intrusive thoughts can look like when it doesn’t seem obvious.

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Hi there :)

I'm sorry to hear you acted on your suicidal thoughts and hope you are getting lots of support from those around you and remember if you need to talk to someone at all for support you can call the samaritans. 

Your problem sounds very much like OCD to me. I don't really get intrusive thoughts as such. I just know I'm anxious, know sort of what I'm worried about and then do compulsions. Sometimes when you've had OCD a while it can just be like a fast track to anxiety, so don't worry about your seemingly lack of intrusive thoughts. 

Also, even though I think you have typical signs of OCD, you don't have to have specific intrusive thoughts to be diagnosed. Anxiety, compulsions and severe impact on your life is all that is necessary. 

I hope your assessment goes well :)

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Hi Jamie,

I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much and really hope you manage to see some improvements very soon.

I agree with Gemma I don't think you necessarily need to have the lightning bolt "oh my god what if XYZ" intrusive thought for it to count as OCD.  I think often when OCD is well under way there are no intrusive thoughts so to speak.  However I do believe there probably was an intrusive thought at one point which sparked all of this - even if it's now forgotten.  That original thought could have been the tiny seedling which was nurtured by compulsions over time.  I do think however that the idea of intrusive thoughts is sometimes over-emphasised when talking about OCD.  All you need is an obsession which causes you severe anxiety and causes you to carry out compulsions.  In your case the obsession is around illness/injury and you know what your compulsions are. To me it sounds very much like OCD.

Take care and good luck with your assessment.

xx

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Hi Jamie,

I completely echo and agree with all that Gemma and GBG have said. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much and I really hope things improve for you soon. 

The definition of an obsession, brilliantly explained by PolarBear may also help you. It doesn’t have to be just intrusive thoughts. I’ll paste a link below to his post where he gives the definition. 

Take care and I hope your assessment goes well. X

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The term "Intrusive Thought" we often think of as big ones like "What if I lost control and stabbed my partner?", they don't need to be huge ones which flash across our minds.

You say that you fear getting ill/injured/death......well sure as night follows day you are having thoughts about these fears, without a thought of sorts you wouldn't be able to determine what it was you feared, so these are the thoughts that are intruding, they are thoughts you don't want to have, Intrusive Thoughts.

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Thank you each and everyone of you that has replied and offered your thoughts. That does make more sense to me now. I definitely do think everyday about the things I fear, it never leaves. It is a constant anxiety. That anxiety seems to be getting worse added in with the very low mood, which is just overwhelming. Thanks yes I have reached out to the Samaritans. I was in contact with them via email for a week, but have taken a step back because I had so much contact and felt bad about it. 

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12 hours ago, jamie2011 said:

I am constantly anxious about illness/injury/death.

There's your intrusive thought.  Its true you often see them framed as complete sentences when people talk about their intrusive thoughts "What if ...." but the reality is our thoughts are not like a novel.  An intrusive thought can be an image or a scene or simply a feeling about something.  When I was young and first had my OCD it centered around being sick to my stomach, especially in public.  But my intrusive thoughts didn't manifest as the actual sentence "What if I throw up" in my head, it was images of the event happening, or a vague sense of dread that it might happen.  Anyway I hope that helps a bit. 

Meanwhile I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I'm glad to hear you are reaching out to get help.  Don't feel bad about getting help, its what groups like OCD-UK and Samaritans are for!

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Thank you dksea for taking the time to respond and give an example of how you have struggled with intrusive thoughts. I think I have definitely been questioning whether if it had to be like "what if..."  and that is where I was getting confused. I can see how I am still getting the thoughts now just in a different way as you described above.

Thanks for the support and letting me know it is ok to reach out. Something I struggle with. Probably made worse by the fact I constantly question my morals as person and a fear that I am not actually struggling with my mental health, but doing everything for attention. It is horrible to constantly question myself. Means I fear if I ask for help then I am going exactly the right way of getting attention and if feeds into my fear. So if I keep quiet then it stays with me. It has been harder to reach out in person to people like my support worker, but at least with the Samaritans I was able to express myself and really say how I felt.

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