ocdsufferer85 Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 I can have long spells without ruminating and if it does pop up I can say NO THIS IS OCD and continue with my day But it always comes back eventually... there will be a day where ITS OCD doesn't cut it and the urge to solve the puzzle is there again... which then starts it off again. If I try to leave it, I feel so tortured and unable to function the same. I don't know how to make this OCD topic be gone forever...it's always on hold...waiting to bite, the same topic, no others, they come and they go but this sticks. It's number 1 on the worry chain. How can I feel free when it keeps hanging on?! Link to comment
malina Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 I feel exactly the same! I think that’s why it’s so difficult, it’s not just thoughts but also feelings (quite intense ones sometimes) that come with it and you can’t always will or talk them away. I also think we all have themes that stick with us and make us more anxious than others. I think wanting it to be gone forever makes it worse too, then you’re still actively engaging with it. I think you have to learn to accept this particular worry and be okay with it, rather than trying to get rid of it completely. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted November 29, 2018 Author Share Posted November 29, 2018 I'm finding it too hard. It just comes back. I'm never free. And I can't work out why things happened and what's even true. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 You MUST stop trying to figure out why things happened and what's true. Doing so is a compulsion. That is keeping you stuck. It's that simple. Give yourself permission to leave that nonsense unsolved. Link to comment
Steve.m.w Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 I agree with the above. One of my techniques is to have a mental health holiday, where I don't follow the thoughts. I see it a bit like being on holiday from work. It usually helps get me back to a better place over the course of a day or 2. Incidentally, you make the holiday last indefinitely. Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 7 hours ago, PolarBear said: You MUST stop trying to figure out why things happened and what's true. Doing so is a compulsion. That is keeping you stuck. It's that simple. Give yourself permission to leave that nonsense unsolved. Is it 'normal' or common to get hung up on the smallest of things and turn it into a massive worry? At the time I knew that as the moments passed by it would get worse....it was like "oh no what just happened?!" to "it's nothing" "wait...is it nothing? I can't be sure now" "what if it was something bad?" "what happened?" "did it happen this way or that way?" and the longer it's gone on the more questions are there. Rather than sticking with believing it was all silly and ocd making a problem over nothing...or making me feel like I should monitor my every motion. This was the one day I decided to say to ocd nah...not this time....but then it was like...how can I put it...it's like I ran towards the fire...to prove I wasn't gonna get burnt....but I end up freaking out and it's made me lose any confidence I did have. Link to comment
dksea Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 1 hour ago, ocdsufferer85 said: Is it 'normal' or common to get hung up on the smallest of things and turn it into a massive worry? At the time I knew that as the moments passed by it would get worse....it was like "oh no what just happened?!" to "it's nothing" "wait...is it nothing? I can't be sure now" "what if it was something bad?" "what happened?" "did it happen this way or that way?" and the longer it's gone on the more questions are there. Rather than sticking with believing it was all silly and ocd making a problem over nothing...or making me feel like I should monitor my every motion. This was the one day I decided to say to ocd nah...not this time....but then it was like...how can I put it...it's like I ran towards the fire...to prove I wasn't gonna get burnt....but I end up freaking out and it's made me lose any confidence I did have. Its absolutely normal to feel more anxiety at first when you start challenging your OCD, after all you are no longer giving in to the compulsions so you have lost that temporary relief. Compare it to a person who decides to quit smoking, they go from feeling "normal" following their day to day routine to anxious and irritable, craving that cigarette more than they used to even, because they have stopped allowing themselves to use it. It's not going to be great at first, its going to take some effort to get over the initial anxiety surge and THEN over time as you stop responding the habit becomes less and less strong as you unlearn it. Or to use a different example, if you are a lazy layabout and you decide one day to get in better shape, when you first try and do exercise you will find it hard and painful. You've gone from a known state that you are comfortable with, to a new uncomfortable state. Yes, in time if you keep at it you will eventually feel better than you did before you started, but at first you will feel tired and painful as you unlearn the bad habits and start learning new ones. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 13 hours ago, ocdsufferer85 said: Is it 'normal' or common to get hung up on the smallest of things and turn it into a massive worry? At the time I knew that as the moments passed by it would get worse....it was like "oh no what just happened?!" to "it's nothing" "wait...is it nothing? I can't be sure now" "what if it was something bad?" "what happened?" "did it happen this way or that way?" and the longer it's gone on the more questions are there. Rather than sticking with believing it was all silly and ocd making a problem over nothing...or making me feel like I should monitor my every motion. This was the one day I decided to say to ocd nah...not this time....but then it was like...how can I put it...it's like I ran towards the fire...to prove I wasn't gonna get burnt....but I end up freaking out and it's made me lose any confidence I did have. The above is you still trying to figure it out. It's a compulsion. It is keeping you stuck. You've been doing this for years and things have only gotten worse. Don't you think it's time you tried something different? Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 No I'm not I'm just showing you that's what happens, it's like a battle between a normal person and not... Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 I feel like it's like a person who spent years avoiding cracks on a pavement and then one day thought will doing this really prevent the worst? What if I just stood on It? I won't but what if? Then they brush their foot past it and freak out and realise maybe they just did it..by mistake, and now they are in danger Link to comment
ocdsufferer85 Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 My ocd is very much controlling myself and if I don't I feel bad. Control and watch my moves...and If I don't then what on earth happened Link to comment
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