It's over

[don't know]

I ended up joining another OCD forum and posting on it. I posted my complete story on there and someone replied 'do you do anything to stop the thoughts, if you don't I'm not convinced it's true OCD.' 

I feel defeated it's been four years and I've wasted my time being an imposter. I'm sorry for bothering you guys for over a year when I clearly didn't have OCD to begin with. I even received medication and therapy for it - I must have been lying the entire time. That's what I feared. 

[Caramoole]

Sounds very much like an OCD sufferer speaking to me

Quote

don't make everything about ocd. Do that thing you enjoy not because it's distraction or refocusing but just because you like it

I think you almos certainly do do something but like many, many people haven't identified what this is.  Let's investigate

[don't know]

Hello and thank you for being so nice. I'm currently have a **** time with other things - haven't been too lucky with life and just generally not feeling good enough. So, in a bit of a fragile state.

In the beginning I would just google things and read articles, testing, checking and asking for reassurance. I would spend so many hours in my bed just thinking and trying to work it out. I don't do any of things anymore. I just come on here and post and spend hours doing it and going on all OCD forums. I just feel like I don't have a sense of who I am anymore. I got like a two month break from it but now I feel like I did at the beginnning. 

I feel bad because all I do is complain, but I just don't know if I have OCD or not. It just feels like I'll always be like this and it's leading me down into a depression. 

[dksea]

18 minutes ago, don't know said:

In the beginning I would just google things and read articles, testing, checking and asking for reassurance. I would spend so many hours in my bed just thinking and trying to work it out. I don't do any of things anymore. I just come on here and post and spend hours doing it and going on all OCD forums. I just feel like I don't have a sense of who I am anymore. I got like a two month break from it but now I feel like I did at the beginnning. 

Checking, rumination, pretty standard behavior for OCD.
 

19 minutes ago, don't know said:

I feel bad because all I do is complain, but I just don't know if I have OCD or not. It just feels like I'll always be like this and it's leading me down into a depression. 

Forgive me if you've answered this before in another thread, but have you sought medical help with your issue?  Have you seen a therapist and gotten a diagnosis?
Its not at all uncommon for OCD sufferers to doubt that they have OCD, this is actually the second post i've responded to tonight (where I am its night ) with that particular doubt in fact.  The thing is you don't actually have to be 100% sure its OCD in order to treat OCD.  You can choose to assume its OCD and go forward from there.  Its normal to feel doubt, especially at first, it doesn't feel great, but you can choose to do something even if you aren't sure.  The reality is you do that every moment of every day because its literally impossible (as in against the laws of physics) to be 100% sure of anything.  You take a chance when you step outside your house you won't be struck by lightning.  You take a chance when you bite in to a meal prepared by your partner that they didn't screw up the recipe and its going to taste awful.  You take a chance when you take a shower that you aren't the Wicked Witch of the West and about to melt from being exposed to water (ok maybe that last ones a stretch).  Point being you take chances all the time, you just don't think about it.  You can take a chance on this too.  Why don't you assume for now its OCD.  Follow the path to recovery from OCD that people here can help you with and move forward with your life.  If you feel bad about complaining, you have the power to change that, you can take steps to go forward.  If you don't take a chance then yeah, things will probably stay not so great, and no body wants that.  But if you try to make changes, try to do the work, try to move forward, then heck, theres a pretty good chance things WILL change.  Isn't it worth taking that chance at something better?