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taurean

Overcoming The Massive Recovery Hurdle Of Worry

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Worry is pointless, achieves nothing, evokes anxiety, erodes joie de vivre and in time will result in illness. 

In OCD the disorder provokes worry, and those prey to it will find the illness more difficult to challenge as a result.

For the first 6 months of this year I had to face the biggest challenges of my life.

A property sale and purchase that seemed likely to collapse, but we desperately wanted to go through. 

Then a challenging move, and my wife fell seriously ill the day after we arrived. And for some time we both thought she was dying. 

A new home and location to deal with on my own, nursing my wife. 

But did I worry?  No. I was concerned, but not worried. 

When I went out to get supplies, dump endless boxes in the recycle centre, deliver piles of unwanted things to the charity shops, grab a pint or a cup of coffee, and accompany my wife to medical appointments (she is profoundly deaf) - well I placed a metaphorical carnation in my buttonhole, a spring in my step and placed my trust in myself and others. 

Because I didn't worry I slept well, considered actions carefully then implemented them. 

I got friendly with the locals. 

My Satnav steered me where I needed to go. 

And, because I kept busy and refused to worry, OCD didn't get a hold. 

Two books changed my life years ago when learning how to fight worry:

"How to stop worrying and start living"  by American Dale Carnegie. 

and 

"The Power of positive thinking"  by American pastor Norman Vincent Peale. 

Both books written in the 1950s, both so good that they are still in print. 

 I read and re-read those books until their doctrines became second nature to me, and I knew I had defeated worry. 

 

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Such a good post Roy.  I am a terrible worrier.  I am often inspired by your positive approach to life - you always approach everything so lightly and positively.  I could definitely do with a bit more of that! I have the Dale Carnegie book you mention so might get it out again and have a read.  Thank you :) 

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Prolonged worry can cause stomach ulcers and other digestive problems, high blood pressure, heart problems due to ongoing hypertension, amongst others. 

There is a chapter in "How to stop worrying and start living" titled "what worry may do to you",  and it doesn't make for a comfortable read. 

 

Edited by taurean

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Bit of a vicious circle as you worry yourself silly then worry again over what the worrying is doing to you! 

Personally I'd say I worry from the minute I open my eyes till I close them. 

Edited by bruces

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So how are you proposing to overcome that? 

You can't just say to yourself "this worry is pointless"  and stop. 

You need action, and commitment. 

Not making the effort isn't an option. 

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The answer to that is in my earlier post. 

We need to get stress under control, and learn how to stop worrying and start living. 

I used the self-help books, and a lot of commitment, to do this. 

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Hi Bruces do not worry about worry. It used to be thought that worry caused stomach ulcers but they are caused by bacteria or taking certain medications. See the NHS site. If you have high blood pressure see your doctor it can be caused by a variety of things and medication can reduce it.

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If worry is not good for you - and it isn't, physically or mentally - then worrying about worry is obviously not good. 

I have had a challenging year, with a number of concerns. 

They weren't worries ; because for each of them I had a plan. I considered options carefully, selected the most sensible, implemented it - then dismissed all anxiety about the outcome. 

It sounds so simple - and it is simple - but steering oneself from abject worry to this nirvana takes time, patience and effort. 

But you really do then start to live :)

 

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I'm unsure as to purpose is anymore,if that makes any sense I feel like I'm just drifting like a zombie with no direction! 

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On 09/12/2018 at 14:24, bruces said:

I'm unsure as to purpose is anymore,if that makes any sense I feel like I'm just drifting like a zombie with no direction! 

Only you can change that Bruce. 

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1 hour ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Only you can change that Bruce. 

I just wish there was happiness for us all. 

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We can be happy. 

But first we must choose to be happy. Switch our bias from always seeking out and emphasising the good not the bad. 

The whole Brexit saga seems to be crashing onto the rocks of Ireland. Personally I never thought it wouldn't create a problem, especially with different factions demanding different things. 

But am I worrying about it?  No. Concerned?  Somewhat. But unless someone gives me something new upon which to cast a vote, there is nothing I can do. And it is pointless worrying about something that we can do nothing about. 

So I just leave it be and go about my own business. 

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34 minutes ago, taurean said:

We can be happy. 

But first we must choose to be happy. Switch our bias from always seeking out and emphasising the good not the bad. 

The whole Brexit saga seems to be crashing onto the rocks of Ireland. Personally I never thought it wouldn't create a problem, especially with different factions demanding different things. 

But am I worrying about it?  No. Concerned?  Somewhat. But unless someone gives me something new upon which to cast a vote, there is nothing I can do. And it is pointless worrying about something that we can do nothing about. 

So I just leave it be and go about my own business. 

Good post,glad your getting on mate 

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You have done a good job Tauren, especially as your thought some months ago that your wife was dying. Your fortitude has served you well.

But I am not sure of the semantic difference between concern and worry. Do you mean?

Concern  implies energising youself to formulate and commit to a plan and implement it. Whilst worry is a negative state where your do not commit yourself to a plan of action. And vegetate and go round and round in your head the problem which you face.

But if you are affected by comorbid conditions, such as demenia or depression, strength of character and fortitude is not easily located. Sometimes practical and outside help is needed.

Edited by Angst

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Yes that's along the right lines re concern. But if the worry is outside our control - like Brexit - then we do what is sensible. E.g.I for my part don't think now is a great time to plunge into an investment in stocks and shares - market falling, too much uncertainty. 

OCD sufferers can suffer from a type of depression called secondary depression I.e.caused by OCD. 

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Just read this post. Roy you are a strong character. What a year! Hats off to you!

I am interested in those books now. I would like to read them but for the past two years I've been buying books (kindle and actual books) and not ever getting round to reading them. So maybe one day. Your post has inspired me. Thanks! :) 

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Reading is very good for easing the mind into a holiday from its normal worries and fears. 

Plus it can provide learning, inspiration, aspiration, relaxation. 

In the reader on this phone I have purchased several books so there is always something for me to read and enjoy, wherever I am. 

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