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Charlie ocd

Anyone got cumpulsive starring at private areas of others

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I think i noticed it faintly a while ago but since getting very unwell its stronger now i also have pocd and thought it was hocd but now it seems its compulsive starring.

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I was panicking i meant i do have pocd i thought i could have hocd too but after googling it sounds like the starring ocd or compulsive starring.It happens when im talking to someone its like the corner of my eye is picking up on private areas i dont want to look there but feel drawn too.

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It's the old don't think of pink elephants scenario. If I tell you not to, you will.

The problem is not that you look at someone's crotch. It's that you attach meaning to it. Of course, that meaning is negative. You wish you didn't do it. It makes you feel bad. You make a big desl out of it. That guarantees you will look again. And round and round you go.

The trick is to think, eh whatever, when it happens. Make it not a big deal and you'll soon stop doing it. Treat it as a non-issue.

Edited by PolarBear

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11 hours ago, PolarBear said:

It's the old don't think of pink elephants scenario. If I tell you not to, you will.

The problem is not that you look at someone's crotch. It's that you attach meaning to it. Of course, that meaning is negative. You wish you didn't do it. It makes you feel bad. You make a big desl out of it. That guarantees you will look again. And round and round you go.

The trick is to think, eh whatever, when it happens. Make it not a big deal and you'll soon stop doing it. Treat it as a non-issue.

Yes i do feel ashamed straight away i do make a big deal of it because it upsets me so much i was thinking could i be gay but its happening with men and women.Im trying to force my eyes away i end up starring in the other persons eyes so that i dont pick up on that area of the body.

Thanks i have to try that 

Edited by Charlie ocd

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Yeah I get this and have done since I was a kid, it can be ocd related but also it can be like a tic, the urge to do something you don't want to do because you know you shouldn't. The more inappropriate it would be - say in in an interview! - the more I get the urge to look!! It's annoying! It's that last part which makes it stick - like pb says is the not wanting to do it which keeps it on your radar. It's nothing sexual and I think is pretty common for everyone, but as with all ocd it sticks for us because we give it attention. 

Edited by gingerbreadgirl

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I had it a while ago talking to my cpn then i seemed to have got it really bad when i was in the hospital before i went the mental hospital i was walking down the corridor with people coming towards me i just wasnt right.I think i was looking for children so i could avoid them then i was starring at peoples privates i was so humiliated then i noticed it in the mental hospital.At the moment its really hard to deal with knowing this because ive had a really hard time with the pocd.Even snooker i used to like watching that but now when they lean over the table im noticing it.

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Ive been saying all the time whatever not letting it upset me when it happens will it really stop by doing this?.I was watching snooker when i was really stressed one day and it did seem to be worse upsetting me more.

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On 24/01/2019 at 00:45, Charlie ocd said:

Anyone know how to make this stop im worrying ill do it each time i get my shopping delivered now.

As Polar Bear mentioned above, the issue is that you are focused on this and making a big deal out of it.  Choose to accept that this is not a big deal, don't dwell on it if/when it happens, and don't try to analyze it when it does happen.  If you notice yourself doing it say to yourself "no big deal" and simply look away.  If you notice yourself starting to ruminate on it, "but what if ..." type of thoughts, remind yourself its just OCD and focus on something else.  In time, your brain will learn this isn't an important topic and it will stop being a problem.

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Thanks its when he removes the boxes from the trolley thats when i have a problem.because hes facing me and im all nervous.Im panicking coming up to the day it gets delivered.I must try not dwell on it shopping got delivered today.first time he unloaded it himself but its always a different person.

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I think that dksea’s advice is good. If you are having food delivered does that mean that you are going out a lot less now?

How do you occupy your time? Anxiety and rumination will flood your mind unless you do things. You could decorate your flat. Learn a language. Build a small piece of furniture. Have therapy via the Internet. Whatever. In hospitals it’s called occupational therapy.

It is important to build up regular activities of purposeful things. And I still thing that you should sign up for therapy.

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Ive always had my food delivered i havent been out since before christmas.

I just want to lay down all the time im very depressed i can hardly do anything.

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I know it can be difficult because I have been there but lying down all the time is not the answer. Set a timetable to do things. Are you on anti depressants? Have you tried to use polarbear’s/dksea’s technique?

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Im on antidepressants venlafaxine 300mg a day im waking up soaked in sweat during the night and morning.I dont feel with it in the mornings my legs shake too.I feel better when i put my headphones on and listen to the tv.

I have tried polarbears and dkseas techniques im tryimg dkseas at the moment.I just dont want to do anything everything is an effort.i wouldnt know what to do.

 

Thanks

Edited by Charlie ocd

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I have the headphones on all day and have to listen to the radio in my ears when i go to sleep.I hear the neagbors below me talking about me at night and in the mornings.

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10 hours ago, Charlie ocd said:

.I just dont want to do anything everything is an effort.

I've felt this way before too, it can be quite challenging and frustrating.  Unfortunately its a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, as laying around all day all the time is likely to make your anxiety and depression worse, not better.  I have had times where I am having a tough time with my OCD and feel the same, but i've found that doing something relatively simple, getting up, taking a shower, getting dressed, makes me feel better.  Even if you don't go anywhere, even if your next step is to sit on the couch and watch tv, the simple act of getting out of bed and doing a little self care can go a surprising way to helping alleviate some of the anxiety and depression.  And sometimes you have to force yourself, you have to do it even though you really really don't want to.  Fake it until you make it, so to speak.

 

9 hours ago, Charlie ocd said:

I hear the neagbors below me talking about me at night and in the mornings.

Do you hear your neighbors talking and worry that they might be talking about you specifically?  That would be OCD and you can use CBT to tackle that.
Its very unlikely your neighbors are talking about you all the time, after all, they have their own lives to live, so if you genuinely believe/experience that happening it could be a non-OCD problem and you should talk to your doctor about it.

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Hi dksea

I have to have a bath each morning mornings are the worst.Then i need to put the headphones on to listen to the tv.And i want to lay on the bed watching tv.i feel calmer with the headphones on.I do beleave the neagbors below are talking about me.my legs are usualy shaking when im in bed and i just dont feel right.I get up and there shaking too.

I did write this down and gave it to the cpn the mental health sent round.ive only seen him once so far.

 

Thanks

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13 hours ago, Charlie ocd said:

I do beleave the neagbors below are talking about me

Why would they be talking about you though?  Don't you think they have lives of their own to lead? Jobs? Hobbies? Interests?  Sure the idea of people talking about us doesn't sound very fun, but that doesn't mean it happens a lot.  I live in an apartment building, I have neighbors above and below me, and ill be honest i've never given them a second thought.  Maybe if they were being particularly noisy I might think "that is kind rude, I wish they would quiet down", but for the most part I have other things to occupy my mind and time with.  Why do you think your neighbors would want to talk about you all the time like this?

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I live in a tower block of flats im on the top i avoid children i empty my bin downstairs early in the morning or late in the day.when i had a relapse i wasnt acting right and since then i hear the neagbors.It stopped when i came out of the mental hospital but started again.Plus i have bad nightmares and can shout in my sleep.And one day neaghbors on my floor knocked on my door i opened it and one of them was with a kid.I was very stressed at the time and i was scared straight away then that neagbor went back in & clossed her door.plus im hearing people outside the building talking about me everyday.

Edited by Charlie ocd

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Hi Charlie, I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you have been having a very rough time.  Again I doubt that the neighbors are really talking about you that much, it sounds like it may be auditory hallucinations instead, which would be something separate from OCD.  I'm not a medical professional but have you talked with your doctor or therapist about this?

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Hi Charlie.  I mentioned a number of organisations that you could use before. Under your previous name. Such as the organisation Hearing Voices which is the alternative name for auditory hallucinations. Your local Mind group run a weekly support group for those who experience this thing. I think that you should refer yourself to the PICuP group (I think you mentioned that a medical professional recommended this)  at the Maudsley as they say that they can visit your at home and they also conduct therapy via the Internet. I think help and support is available but there may be a waiting list for PICuP. As dksea suggests and I have mentioned you might have more than one diagnosis. Many of us have. I don’t see that reaching out will cause any problems but instead may create solutions.

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On 31/01/2019 at 01:33, dksea said:

Hi Charlie, I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you have been having a very rough time.  Again I doubt that the neighbors are really talking about you that much, it sounds like it may be auditory hallucinations instead, which would be something separate from OCD.  I'm not a medical professional but have you talked with your doctor or therapist about this?

Hi

I told my cpn or care coordinator and i wrote it all down and gave it to the cpn the mental health sent round.I find it too dificult to see a gp because children could be there.I dont have a therapist i still dont feel ready to do cbt.

 

Ive asked my cpn and there doctor if i have schizophrenia and they said no.

Edited by Charlie ocd

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On 31/01/2019 at 09:52, Angst said:

Hi Charlie.  I mentioned a number of organisations that you could use before. Under your previous name. Such as the organisation Hearing Voices which is the alternative name for auditory hallucinations. Your local Mind group run a weekly support group for those who experience this thing. I think that you should refer yourself to the PICuP group (I think you mentioned that a medical professional recommended this)  at the Maudsley as they say that they can visit your at home and they also conduct therapy via the Internet. I think help and support is available but there may be a waiting list for PICuP. As dksea suggests and I have mentioned you might have more than one diagnosis. Many of us have. I don’t see that reaching out will cause any problems but instead may create solutions.

Hi

I went to go on the hearing voices forum but it wouldnt let me.Ive been told by my cpn and there doctor i dont have schizophrenia.I have asked for a second opinion in the past but they said they cant do that.Ive told my cpn i need another diagnosis he hasnt said anything yet.When im ready i will get refered for cbt.

 

Sorry i just tried going on the hearing voices forum on my phone and it worked.

Thanks

Edited by Charlie ocd

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