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Hi Helen

As Gemma suggest's, if you're feeling suicidal and can't cope, ring the Samaritan's and talk to someone or reach out to family & friends and tell them you're not coping.

 You say you don''t do compulsions.  You probably do but perhaps haven't recognised them yet.  Let's try and work them out :)

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It takes time sadly.  Even when we don't obviously engage, the thought will continue and repeat.  It doesn't just stop. It's likely after a couple of rounds you do get dragged back into ruminating orvpushing the thought away.  It's a powerful and persuasive feeling, always.    When it's tough, I try and think,  Get Lost, I know What this is and I'm rewiring my brain, I'm not having this conversation ..... and I keep doing that over and again.  Rumination is a typical, default response .....it takes repeat ed response to ignore it.  Keep trying Helen.   Know your enemy and (repearedly)  keep refusing to go there.

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