What does this mean? Confused

[DownTheRabbitHole]

“False Memory OCD refers to a cluster of OCD presentations wherein the sufferer becomes concerned about a thought that appears to relate to a past event.  The event can be something that actually happened (but over which there is some confusion) or it can be something completely fabricated by the mind.”

The above quote was pasted from an article on false memory ocd and it has me feeling rather anxious and confused, it says that false memories can be about something that actually happened but if something actually happened then it wouldn’t be a false memory would it? Not asking for reassurance, I just don’t understand what the author of the article means. 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

He meant that OCD can be about a real event. You know it is scary but we shouldn''t fall back to all or nothing. Bad things do happen. Just because there is this thing false-memory-OCD doesn't mean that we can be sure that nothing have happened in our life. 

[DownTheRabbitHole]

What I don’t understand is how false memory ocd can be about a real memory? That’s what it says in the quoted article.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

That is why they also call real event. Ultimately we can't get certainty. You want to label all of this false memory OCD so you can get to the conclusion that nothing happened. Leave it alone

[DownTheRabbitHole]

I’m not trying to label it as false memory in order to get conclusion that nothing happened, what I am saying is that false memory ocd is not the same as real memory ocd, false memory is about something that didn’t happen and real event ocd is obviously about something that did actually happen. Although they are both themes of ocd, false memory is not the same as real event ocd. I was confused over why the article would say that false memory ocd can be about a real event, as to my understanding false memory ocd is about something that didn’t actually occur. 

[ChrisB]

You can have false memories about something that actually happened, is the point. If you have lunch, but misremember what you ate a week later, you still had lunch.

[DownTheRabbitHole]

I’m confused then as I was always told that I suffer from false memories as I get thoughts that something terrible has happened and then I convince myself it’s real but it always turns out to be false in the end and that it didn’t actually happen. I know that with the false memory I’m going through at the moment I was initially sure that nothing actually happened and I could remember clearly that I had walked away from the person, I think that I did walk away from the person and that nothing happened as that what I remember first and I felt sure at the time. 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

You are trying to find clues in the defintion to wether you have had the event happen or not. 

Nothing good will come from this. Ultimately we need to accept the uncertainty, sorry for that but we don't have any other way.

 

Also stop reading articles about it. 

Edited December 12, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[DownTheRabbitHole]

I was doing okay but now because of what’s been said I’m now panicking that my memory of not doing anything bad is false, when I was sure that I remembered going away from the person. I feel a hundred times worse now, great. That’s like saying all my other false memories were real event ocd which I know is a load of rubbish as they all turned out not to be true. 

[ChrisB]

The concept that people can have false memories surrounding real events doesn't mean that every memory you have is now real. It's your OCD latching onto something semantic, that's all. Recognise what's going on and leave it be.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

You are not supposed to solve all of this. You need to put it aside, you proably read about OCD and how it works and got reassured because you got relief from knowing that you have OCD. I have done the same. But now did it come back with a "what if" and you are back doubting, trying to solve the "what if".  The reason you are feeling worse is because it is growing bigger.

Sorry.

 

You really need to stop solving it, and try to put it aside. It will become better on and off, that is how it goes. But if you want to get rid of it you need to resist it. Stop reading about it, you have been researching about falsememory-OCD now for years. You know enough.

Edited December 12, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain

[dksea]

46 minutes ago, DownTheRabbitHole said:

That’s like saying all my other false memories were real event ocd which I know is a load of rubbish as they all turned out not to be true. 

You are catastrophizing here Rabbit  You are assuming the worst possible situation, when there are other much simpler, much less problematic ones.

As others have explained above a false memory can be about something that never happened OR it can be based on an event that happened but not the way the false memory claims it did.

Basically, humans are not computers, we are not robots.  We don't have perfect recall of events that happened in the past.  But we don't have to to live a normal life.  We go through life where we are mostly sure about what happens, so much so that our brain basically treats mostly sure as being completely sure.  Did I eat breakfast this morning?  Yeah i'm mostly sure I did, good enough!  Did I lock the door?  Yeah i'm mostly sure I did.  Good enough!

False memories become a problem because of the OCD demand that we be ABSOLUTELY sure (an impossibility).  
OCD: Are you ABSOLUTELY sure you didn't hit an old lady with your car on the way to work this morning?  
ME: Well yeah, I mean I don't remember hitting any old ladies.  Surely if I did I'd remember right?  
OCD: But are you ABSOLUTELY sure?  
ME: Well I mean, I'm pretty sure.  I don't remember hitting anyone.
OCD:  What did you eat for dinner on July 29, 2011?
ME: Huh, well um, I don't remember but i'm sure it was something.
OCD: See, you can't even remember something as simple as that.  Maybe you forgot about hitting the old woman.
ME:  I mean, I guess, its POSSIBLE I could have forgotten but that seems unlikely...
OCD: Yeah, but what IF you did it and you are just forcing yourself to forget so you don't feel guilty...
ME: That would be awful, I don't want to be an awful person, surely I didn't do it right?
OCD: But are you SURE?
ME: I mean I guess not?
OCD: So maybe you DID hit the old woman
ME: Maybe...maybe I did...but...
OCD: And maybe you are just hiding from it.
ME: Oh my god....what if I did do it...
OCD: So are you sure you didn't?
ME: No, no i'm not sure.  I should be sure.  If I didn't do it I should be sure
OCD: So why can't you be sure?
ME: Because...because...maybe I did it? ...oh god I can imagine how it happened....
OCD: Are you just imaging?  Maybe you are remembering?
ME: Oh oh god...what if this IS my memory what if I did do it???
OCD: I mean if you didn't you'd be sure right...
ME: But I'm not sure, that means....

And there you go, OCD leading you from being "sure" about something to using doubt to drive you to suddenly "remember" something that never happened.  Its a bit dramatized but its basically the process.  OCD chips away at your belief using doubt and before you know it you believe something that never happened might be true.

The articles author points out that false memories can be related to a real events because we can form false memories around anything.  The person in the above story drove to work, a real event, but they didn't hit an old woman, thats a false memory.  Sometimes OCD sufferers will latch on to the fact that an event actually happened and if it actually happened their false memory must be true.  But just because event A happened doesn't mean related event B did.  Just because the person in the story drove to work doesn't mean the false memory of hitting an old woman happened.  I hope that helps you understand the difference.

[PolarBear]

I would say that article is poorly worded, likely by someone who does not understand the nuances of OCD.

Real life or guilt OCD is a type where a real event did take place and the sufferer gets catastrophic thoughts about it. Everyone else thinks what happened was minor.

False memory OCD is a type where intrusive thoughts are mistaken for memories. The intrusive thoughts are of a disturbing nature and typically involve harming or killing another, cheating on a partner or sexually abusing someone.

Edited December 12, 2018 by PolarBear

[gingerbreadgirl]

I agree with pb I think the article is poorly worded. Ocd can be about real or false events but real event ocd is of a different nature i.e. The sufferer obsesses about how bad the incident was, not whether it actually happened. False memory is when the sufferer obsesses about whether the event happened. The focus of the obsession is different. 

That said, all ocd is really the same and although false memory ocd focuses on imagined events, that is not to say there is a guarantee they didn't happen - as with any kind of ocd we can't have certainty that our worry is groundless. We have to move on despite not having that certainty.