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So some new shoes were ordered and I ordered a few.  Whilst repacking to return the unwanted shoes I noticed a ‘wet’ mark on the paper that they were wrapped in, which were inside the shoe box.  Do I let it go or think it’s sonething dodgy? I’m trying to tell myself it may be some sort of a oil/grease mark rather than sperm.  Am I correct to let it go and expose people in my house to this without a massive clean up? HELP!

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Of course you are. 

You have an obsession around sperm. Common OCD theme. Therefore this intrusion "what if it's sperm and it contaminates the house and threatens people?". 

What to do - you let it go. Don't give belief to that thought. 

Going forwards from this, it would probably be good therapy wise to work a CBT behavioural experiment. 

Work out a few reasons for the OCD threats of sperm and contamination spread from one thing to another being real and true. Write them down on the left side of a page. 

Then write down on the right side of the page reasons you can think of as to why these reasons are not real, and you are just fearing that they are true. 

It's a powerful exercise and it should give you some clarity. 

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6 minutes ago, taurean said:

Of course you are. 

You have an obsession around sperm. Common OCD theme. Therefore this intrusion "what if it's sperm and it contaminates the house and threatens people?". 

What to do - you let it go. Don't give belief to that thought. 

Going forwards from this, it would probably be good therapy wise to work a CBT behavioural experiment. 

Work out a few reasons for the OCD threats of sperm and contamination spread from one thing to another being real and true. Write them down on the left side of a page. 

Then write down on the right side of the page reasons you can think of as to why these reasons are not real, and you are just fearing that they are true. 

It's a powerful exercise and it should give you some clarity. 

Thank you.  So you mean write down why I think it’s true then why it can’t be true? Have I read that correctly

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Essentially. 

The left side is Theory A - that the OCD thoughts are true. 

The right side is theory B - challenging those thoughts to prove that the obsessional thoughts aren't true, and our anxious response to the thoughts can therefore only be because we are afraid that they are true. 

The result of the experient makes recovery a whole lot easier ; and it's helpful also because it makes the sufferer do the therapy homework themselves,using rational thinking - rather than seek reassurance from others - which OCD would then challenge. 

Edited by taurean
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3 hours ago, taurean said:

Essentially. 

The left side is Theory A - that the OCD thoughts are true. 

The right side is theory B - challenging those thoughts to prove that the obsessional thoughts aren't true, and our anxious response to the thoughts can therefore only be because we are afraid that they are true. 

The result of the experient makes recovery a whole lot easier ; and it's helpful also because it makes the sufferer do the therapy homework themselves,using rational thinking - rather than seek reassurance from others - which OCD would then challenge. 

Thank you I’ll try this but gave a feeling that the challenging side will be tricky.

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You use on the right side what you know about semen - e.g. the spermatozoa quickly die if they are not inside a body, at body temperature; spilt semen quickly dries and becomes inert - factual things we know about sperm :)

 

Edited by taurean
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6 hours ago, taurean said:

You use on the right side what you know about semen - e.g. the spermatozoa quickly die if they are not inside a body, at body temperature; spilt semen quickly dries and becomes inert - factual things we know about sperm :)

 

Ok but for me it’s not even about the fact that it’s dead spermicide.  It’s more the fact that i just seem to find it ‘dirty’ and gross.  I find it scary and all experiences that come with it are negative.  I’ve got children and a husband and I don’t have fears with him.  It’s just others.  I don’t know...I’m sure it’s somehow linked to my past abuse.  However, knowing it can give children etc, it don’t help me.  For me it’s just a big fear factor of it being bad and disgusting.

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2 hours ago, lonely mum said:

Ok but for me it’s not even about the fact that it’s dead spermicide.  It’s more the fact that i just seem to find it ‘dirty’ and gross.  I find it scary and all experiences that come with it are negative.  I’ve got children and a husband and I don’t have fears with him.  It’s just others.  I don’t know...I’m sure it’s somehow linked to my past abuse.  However, knowing it can give children etc, it don’t help me.  For me it’s just a big fear factor of it being bad and disgusting.

Revulsion like that is another typical OCD core belief. My friend's daughter has vomit OCD for example. 

Is it really bad though? Why do you - and not others - have that feeling? Answer, because your OCD tells you so.

If you were abused, that may be a seeding event onto which the OCD has latched to form this core belief. It is one known way that an OCD theme can form.

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20 hours ago, taurean said:

Revulsion like that is another typical OCD core belief. My friend's daughter has vomit OCD for example. 

Is it really bad though? Why do you - and not others - have that feeling? Answer, because your OCD tells you so.

If you were abused, that may be a seeding event onto which the OCD has latched to form this core belief. It is one known way that an OCD theme can form.

When I came across the digging stuff from the tv show which documented this, I was so repulsed, shocked and upset.  I imagine it to be the same as a murder scene.  Something very negative.  I’ve started going out for fear of coming across or being in a place where this act  may possibly be performed.  

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5 hours ago, lonely mum said:

When I came across the digging stuff from the tv show which documented this, I was so repulsed, shocked and upset.  I imagine it to be the same as a murder scene.  Something very negative.  I’ve started going out for fear of coming across or being in a place where this act  may possibly be performed.  

All absolutely classic OCD, lonely mum.

So do you know how you should address this in order to recover? 

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19 hours ago, taurean said:

All absolutely classic OCD, lonely mum.

So do you know how you should address this in order to recover? 

My last post I meant I have started to avoid going out as I’m scared of coming across things.  I also hate people brushing past me, lifts are the worse! I guess I shouldn’t be trying to avoid this but it’s easier said than done.

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9 hours ago, PolarBear said:

You have to try and keep trying. You make things worse by doing compulsions like avoiding people.

Thanks, the trying is difficult right.  I wish there was like a flashing remote that I could take with me and if the issue is just ocd and not real it would flash green or red if it’s real danger.  I just don’t know and can’t tell in real life! 

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23 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Right now you assume every substance is sperm. Then you react as if it was. To get past this, you have to start assuming everything is not sperm. And don't react at all.

I’m scared of that possibility of if it is

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13 hours ago, lonely mum said:

I’m scared of that possibility of if it is

There's a possibility that a meteorite could come plummeting through the air and strike you dead at any moment.  The odds are highly unlikely but its a possibility. Why is it it that you don't worry about that?  Because your OCD hasn't latched on to it.  The reason you are worrying about this particular thought is not because it makes sense but because you have OCD.  Yes the anxiety you feel is real but the source is not, at least not to the degree to which you are allowing yourself to believe it is.  You need to remind yourself that this thought is just OCD, and just let it be.  It will be hard at first, but if you keep at it it will get easier and easier, just like doing anything new. 

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So I went out today as needed to buy basic essentials.  This is embarrassing but I got a couple packs of underwear from the store and when I came home I was putting them in the washing machine An checking inside for any stains. One packet was fine but the other pack had a underwear with a stain on it, in the obvious area.  So it did look like a oil stain but not sure of colour as the material was a burgundy colour.  I checked the rest of them thinking it was my imagination but when I looked again it was still there so what am I meant to make of that? I didn’t throw them out as I normally would but will return to the store so I washed my hands in the kitchen sink (don’t have a utility room) and cleaned the sink, but now I remembered that I didn’t move the flipping dish cloth.  So any splashes would still be on this cloth which overhangs into the sink, which everyone is going to end up using and have done already! How do I deal with this situation? What am I meant to think or how should I react? If I can see things which are there, how do I just ignore it?

Edited by lonely mum
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You realise that the meaning being given to your thinking response to what you see is an OCD one. 

Only when you have learned with CBT to stop believing that meaning, and responding with the carrying out of compulsions, will the whole response reaction die down and the internal "scanner" get switched off. 

I know this works because I have gone through this process. 

Remember, the theme or manifestation of OCD will vary, but it works in exactly the same way nevertheless. 

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1 hour ago, taurean said:

You realise that the meaning being given to your thinking response to what you see is an OCD one. 

Only when you have learned with CBT to stop believing that meaning, and responding with the carrying out of compulsions, will the whole response reaction die down and the internal "scanner" get switched off. 

I know this works because I have gone through this process. 

Remember, the theme or manifestation of OCD will vary, but it works in exactly the same way nevertheless. 

No I don’t always realise that it’s ocd.  Not when I can ‘see’ it.  

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11 minutes ago, lonely mum said:

No I don’t always realise that it’s ocd.  Not when I can ‘see’ it.  

What you "think" you see, and what others would think they see, is what makes us sufferers from OCD. 

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11 hours ago, lonely mum said:

So I went out today as needed to buy basic essentials.  This is embarrassing but I got a couple packs of underwear from the store and when I came home I was putting them in the washing machine An checking inside for any stains. One packet was fine but the other pack had a underwear with a stain on it, in the obvious area.  So it did look like a oil stain but not sure of colour as the material was a burgundy colour.  I checked the rest of them thinking it was my imagination but when I looked again it was still there so what am I meant to make of that? I didn’t throw them out as I normally would but will return to the store so I washed my hands in the kitchen sink (don’t have a utility room) and cleaned the sink, but now I remembered that I didn’t move the flipping dish cloth.  So any splashes would still be on this cloth which overhangs into the sink, which everyone is going to end up using and have done already! How do I deal with this situation? What am I meant to think or how should I react? If I can see things which are there, how do I just ignore it?

This whole post is a list of compulsions that you did. It started with you checking the newly bought underwear. Nobody does that. They open the packsge and rither wash them once or start wearing them. They don't inspect them. 

Returning them was a compulsion. Washing your hands was a compulsion. Washing the sink was a compulsion.

You need to get real. The men of the world are not masturbating all over everything you see snd touch. It's just not happening. Yes you get thoughts that the end result is true but all those thoughts, every last one of them, are lies. They are not true. 

Your compulsions are completely unnecessary and are in fact making your situation worse. You are stuck because you do compulsions. It's that simple. The reason you get illogical thoughts that there is semen everywhere us because you fo compulsions.

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