Jump to content

Obsessed with a person


Recommended Posts

OCD is flaring up again- I’m finding my mind is becoming obsessed with one person who I’m good friends. I am constantly checking online to see if they are online. I am posting to get noticed by them. I am thinking about all the conversations we’ve had and analysing what they’ve said. I am constantly seeking their reassurance and validation and feel the need to be liked by them. I get jealous when someone else talks to them as I think then that means that they don’t like me anymore. I worry that they’re my friend just because they feel sorry for me. Your advice to manage this is much appreciated!!

 

Link to comment

 

Hi Such Fun, (cool username btw, it reminds me of Patricia Hodge:))

What's really positive is you've recognised the disorder's hijacking your friendship, not everyone has that insight.

You've also identified the sort of compulsions you're carrying out. I think you probably know you need to try and work towards cutting down on the checking online, posting to be noticed and ruminating (analysing). You shouldn't avoid using social media though, avoidance itself would also be a compulsion...just keep an eye on the underlying motivation for why you're logging in. 

As with any OCD theme, it really comes back to tolerating the uncertainty and doubt, but carrying on regardless with your friendship. When the intrusive thought/worry around your friend's motivation for being friend's with you pops up, try allowing it to be there, let it float around doing its thing while not engaging with it or doing anything in response to it. 

Gradually with time this flare should dampen down, so long as you don't fuel it with the compulsions.

I really hope you get some respite from it, and can enjoy Christmas:HappyXmas:

 

Link to comment
On 22/12/2018 at 08:21, SuchFun said:

OCD is flaring up again- I’m finding my mind is becoming obsessed with one person who I’m good friends. I am constantly checking online to see if they are online. I am posting to get noticed by them. I am thinking about all the conversations we’ve had and analysing what they’ve said. I am constantly seeking their reassurance and validation and feel the need to be liked by them. I get jealous when someone else talks to them as I think then that means that they don’t like me anymore. I worry that they’re my friend just because they feel sorry for me. Your advice to manage this is much appreciated!!

 

I actually read this with interest because I have always found it hard with people in so much that if someone pays me attention, because I feel so unattractive and uninteresting and especially if it a woman, I do have a tendency to ruminate about every little thing like why I haven’t heard back from them or get really stressed or upset if I think they are mad or upset with me. I also suffer from social anxiety though so I constantly feel on display too. I find it difficult to let things be though. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...