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I can't live my life in peace because of OCD


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I'm really struggling with my OCD; the themes keep switching. One minutes it's OCD about being gay/bi, the next that I'm a paedo and the next that I've got a rare disease. 

The other day I was at the park and I saw some squirrels. They came quite close to be and were interested in me. One of them lightly scratched me, not breaking the skin. I had a lovely time with the squirrels, but later on I was like, what if squirrels have rabies? I started googling rabies. Apparently you can't get rabies in the UK and the UK is considered a rabies free zone. Also rabies is not common in rodents. I always thought that UK foxes had rabies but apparently not. Also 2 and a half months ago I went to Greece on holiday and I got scratched by a stray kitten in a restaurant. I don't know if it broke the skin, but I can't remember that it required any medical attention. The kitten didn't seem rabid. I also read that Greece has been free of rabies since 2014. Now I'm worried what if that kitten had rabies and I'll develop rabies? The incubation period is up to 3 months or more so symptoms of rabies don't automatically show.

I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I haven't been sleeping well either and last week I was worried that I had a rare disease relating to sleep. I know that these diseases seem improbably and rare, but improbable and rare things have happened in my life like having a brother born with a rare brain tumour and my dad dying when I was young. I keep thinking what if bad fate awaits me. I'm scared that whenever anything positive happens in my life like at the moment I've been enjoying work, have been going out a lot and have been excited for new years; I'm worried that something will get in the way of my happiness. I also worry about my mum dying because she's under so much stress with my disabled brother (the one born with the rare brain tumour which left him with severe disability).

I know that I can't lead my life being so scared of everything. I don't want to worry every time that I touch an animal I'll get rabies or that every time I have insomnia I've got a rare prion disease. Also my sexuality OCD bugs me as well. It's no way to live. I don't want to live like this but I can't help it. I don't have a normal brain. A normal person wouldn't worry and care about the things that I do. Maybe I need a brain transplant. 

 

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Hi there, Sorry to read how you’re feeling. It’s all OCD. And it’s doing what it does best, trying to make you doubt and question everything. 

Have you seen a GP or therapist at all? If not could you try and get an appointment tomorrow or after Christmas? Sometimes even taking that first step helps a bit. 

Try and stay as strong as possible, I know that’s hard though. I think most of us on here have been in the same place as you, where the OCD and anxiety just seems overwhelming and the themes keep changing. Is there anything you can do that helps reduce your anxiety? I find getting out helps reduce mine x

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I've got a therapist and I've booked a session in the new year, but nothing seems to help. I don't know why my anxiety has gotten so bad lately. In my mind I'm convinced that I have rabies and there's nothing I can do to make me think otherwise. I went out today which definitely seems to help, but it all comes back in the evening.

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Do you think it's possible that I got rabies from a cat in Greece? I can't remember if it scratched me or not. It was about to scratch me I think. I told one of my family members about it and said that it tried to scratch me. This was in a restaurant. Do you think the owners would have told us to stay away if the cats were rabid? I looked online at a government website and they said that there is no risk of rabies in Greece and the last case was in 2014, but since then it's been fine and it says there's strict measures to make sure Greece stays rabies free.

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No. I think that if you had developed rabies, you would have known by now. Plus as you said, if Greece has been rabies free from 2014, you are in the clean. Think about this, cats,  especially kittens, they scratch people occasionally. If they all had rabies, the population of Greece would be decimated and there are a lot of cat mommies and daddies in Greece. Also, if it was at a restaurant, the place could be sued if it had a rabid cat. Like you said, the cat was rabid. It scratched you. Also, just so you know. Rabies is spread by saliva. Not be claws. A scratch will not give you rabies. I think you are fine to be honest. Very very fine. 

 

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I don't even know if the cat scratched me. It might have only tried to. I wouldn't touch a cat that looked really disgusting. Also I worried about getting rabies from a squirrel. Squirrels usually run away from people but these squirrels were very friendly and came up close to me. They say that signs of rabid animals include animals that act really tame. They did run around a lot though and were a bit weary. One of them gently scratched me but I don't think it broke the skin. I read that rabies is rare in rodents such as squirrels and the UK is rabies free. They say the incubation period for rabies is 3-12 weeks, that's when symptoms appear. Sometimes it takes longer. I went to Greece at the end of September so it's been nearly three months. 

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I genuinely don’t think you have any problems at all and have nothing to worry about. Again, if it scratched you, you couldn’t possibly get rabies. It just isn’t possible. Also, rabies in the UK does not exist. So you have nothing to worry about as far as I am concerned. This is just the OCD talking. Look at it this way - you are asking yourself if you may have rabies? You are wondering. It’s a big IF. The chances from what you have said are of a VERY low probability. But, you KNOW you have OCD which blows risk hugely out of proportion and makes you ruminate. I would say very much that you are ruminating. You need to let this go and get on with your life.

 

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Thanks for your support Big Dave. I know that any average person would not give this a second thought, but my OCD brain latches onto the rarest and most dire outcomes. Like I mentioned a lot of it has to do with bad things that have happened in my life like my brother having a rare brain tumour and my dad dying when I was young. I'm scared that if I'm happy in my life, something bad will happen. For the first time in ages I've been genuinely happy; I love my job, I'm close to my mum, I have great friends and a good social life. I still suffer with sexuality OCD but it doesn't plague me as much and there are times when it dies down and I feel completely straight, but there are times when it's really bad. It's the same with the themes about getting a rare illness. Sometimes I don't worry about having any illnesses, but then out of the blue I worry that I have a rare disease. It's crazy how OCD switches themes. 

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Oh I completely understand and you know, you are welcome to talk to me about any of these things at any time right? Whether it’s here or via messages or whatever. 

But I get you. OCD is a real a-hole of a disorder and it’s really cruel. The thing is that with anything in life, I guess there is a possibility of something a bit rubbish happening at any point but if we just sit still and let that fear cripple us, then we just let it take over and we have no life. If you look around on my posts, I have a bit of a random situation and my OCD cripples me too. My main issue is contamination but there are many many aspects to it to the extent where I find it hard to connect with people and I’ve never had a girlfriend. If we let it, it can take over. It sounds that you have gone through some tough periods yourself and that’s rubbish. I do know that ruminating over it won’t help you though. When these thoughts pop into your head, try and gently push them away. I know you can do it !

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Do you realize that all the Googling you've done about rabies, all the ruminating you've done about rabies and asking us if we think you contracted rabies, are all compulsions and are making your situation worse?

You've been around long enough to know about compulsions. You complain about your situation, how awful it is, yet there you are doing compulsions. The real problem is not rabies or your sexuslity. It's compulsions.

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