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Has anyone managed this. 

The brain is constantly picking up failings, perceived failings and throwing them in a full blown attack, I try to accept things as they are, I try to focus on the now, the feel of my feet as I walk, the breeze on my hands, my breath in and out, the pretty flower,but there is always this dark shadow just there making me uncomfortable, I try just to look at it and let it come and go but it changes shape and theme and it's so hard to just let It be when it causes so much fear, I constantly feel vile, revolting, perverted from past thoughts and fantasies from many years ago, I've managed to curb confession and reassurance seeking through Google an friend's, I don't know if I will ever feel peace within as my brain has so many years scanning for the failings from my life and chewing on them, sorry for the waffle. 

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Hi Battlethrough. 

Mindfulness takes time to work towards, and I needed to get a real grip on my obsessions and compulsions through CBT before I found the ability to slip into the mindful state, and get mental peace and tranquillity from that. 

So I would continue to tackle your main obsessions and compulsions.

Remember the past is done - if OCD is dragging it up and making us feel bad about things from the past we can overcome this through CBT. 

And learning how to practice self-love, self-forgiving and kindness will help this cause. 

Some simple relaxation techniques and learning how to use The Four Steps to refocus away from triggers should help meanwhile. 

Edited by taurean
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You can obsess about real events , all of us can - it's quite common.

It's often about something others would just think about momentarily - such as a mistake - and then accept the error, forgive themselves, move on then forget about it.  

So when you find OCD fixating on something, exaggerating its importance and triggering compulsions - taker a detached view. Look at this situation issue or whatever the same way as a n on-sufferer would, or a sufferer - like me - without this theme.

Then gently but wilfully shift your focus away preferably back to what you were previously doing, otherwise to something beneficial and involved. The OCD will seek to drag you back - that's normal. Just repeat the exercise until that, not connecting with the obsession, believing it  and carrying out compulsions, becomes your norm. The intrusions will lose power and frequency.

You will need to do this in tandem with understanding the cognitive side of what is going on - clues above -    and. separately, carrying out sessions of exposure and response prevention. 

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You absolutely will get past this. I did. I went through the exact same thing as you, convinced I was a horrible, disgusting excuse of a human being and felt guilt all the time, if I smiled or laughed I immediately got anxiety, because my brain would say I didn’t deserve to be happy. A year later and nothing from my past has changed, I still did all those things I obsessed about and felt so bad about, but they don’t bother me now, simply because I’m better now, OCD has lifted and so I can see clearly now and rationally. There’s still some things I’m not proud of but I have a different perspective on them now, I’ve cut myself some slack, I’m sorry for any horrible things I ever did, that is enough, it’s ok to move past them and forward in our lives, not to mention the perceived mistakes we beat ourselves up for are very nearly always water off a ducks back to people who don’t have OCD!xx

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I don’t know whether you have heard of this but I came across this app while I was watching my usual YouTube nonsense called “Headspace: Guided Meditation”. It includes a lot about Mindfulness and looks really useful. I’m tempted to give it a try as I figure anything that can help with exactly this might be useful. Check it out. 

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17 minutes ago, BigDave said:

I don’t know whether you have heard of this but I came across this app while I was watching my usual YouTube nonsense called “Headspace: Guided Meditation”. It includes a lot about Mindfulness and looks really useful. I’m tempted to give it a try as I figure anything that can help with exactly this might be useful. Check it out. 

I used headspace for months! When I was really bad it was fab, the are 5min mini meditations u can do when U get overwhelmed during the day and I used the longer ones to help me relax and get over to sleep at night, really relaxing. I now just use white noise or nature sounds to help relax me at night but would def use headspace again if I got bad again.xx

Edited by Wonderer
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6 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

I used headspace for months! When I was really bad it was fab, the are 5min mini meditations u can do when U get overwhelmed during the day and I used the longer ones to help me relax and get over to sleep at night, really relaxing. I now just use white noise or nature sounds to help relax me at night but would def use headspace again if I got bad again.xx

That’s good to know Wonderer. I have been contemplating this for a few days but was off put slightly by the price. One of the issues I find with my OCD is that I have little drive of determination as per depression so it is quite hard to stick to things and is an expensive luxury. 

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There are some free guided meditation downloads available on the Internet. 

A particularly good one is "the mountain meditation" written by Jon Kabat-Zin. 

I have them on my phone, together with some paid for ones by a brilliant Australian psychologist Simonette Vaja. You can download single tracks inexpensively. 

Haven't myself had to use them in a while, but they are great to find a quiet safe place and relax to. 

Edited by taurean
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12 hours ago, BigDave said:

That’s good to know Wonderer. I have been contemplating this for a few days but was off put slightly by the price. One of the issues I find with my OCD is that I have little drive of determination as per depression so it is quite hard to stick to things and is an expensive luxury. 

Maybe it’s different now but I was using the free meditations for a good while? I did end up paying monthly after a while so I could unlock more meditations as I enjoyed them so much but I am sure there are free ones on the app too xx

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