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I haven't posted here in ages.  My anxiety for this theme is way down but the symptoms are evolving.  I see beautiful women but don't feel any sexual attraction. Stuff that used to turn me on isn't anymore.  And everytime I see a topless male is gives me groinal responses. This can be watching tv, facebook, etc..  I am not looking for these images rather I am just going about my daily life and they appear now and then.  But everytime I get a groinal response. 

About 5 months ago I posted about this on OCD Action forum.  There is a poster there called Orwell 1984 and she/he said I am gay and need to get over it.   I have had this 12 yrs now and although I don't get crippling anxiety anymore I feel like my situation is worse. My sexual reactions to women is dwindling all the time and it seems like the groinals are turning into sexual desire (WHICH I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT!).

I notice there is very few hocd topics on this forum and wonder if its not taken seriously as an ocd theme.

Lately my anxiety has been fixated on health and people around me getting cancer etc..

I go out the weekends but dont feel any drive to chat up girls. 

Someone posted up about the finger ratio on a ocd forum in 2008 and I have never gotten over the fact I have female ''gay'' ratio.  Studies continue being done on this and they are saying lesbians have short index fingers and so there is something in it.

 

Can what seemed like HOCD actually turn out to be a case of being gay? 

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I'm not going to give you the reassurance you are seeking. We have been over this countless times to no good end.

I see you are just as stuck now as you were four years ago when I first saw your posts. And in all that time, you haven't changed your thinking or behavior. That's why you remain stuck.

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Dave it's not helpful to hide behind an acronym. We all do best therapy-wise by being open about our themes. 

There is no such thing as HOCD. I have harm OCD and do not try and hide that - because we are neither to blame for having OCD nor the theme or manifestation of OCD. If you like, it is foist upon us, by OCD.

When we spot the theme we have it's best to be open about it - fellow sufferers and trained healthcare professionals are not going to judge us for whatever the theme of our OCD is.

 

Edited by taurean

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Take a look Dave at my "This is CBT for OCD in action, folks"  thread. 

This shows the result of correctly working through CBT and how it results in the intrusive thoughts urges and feelings of OCD being put back in their box, overcome. 

I used to experience horrible vile very frequent intrusions,  triggers  seemed to be everywhere, all around me. 

Now they are occasional and I just ease them away. 

It doesn't matter what the theme or manifestation of OCD is or how unpleasantly it is expressed. It's still OCD and is treated in just the same way. 

You have been going over and over the same wrong methodology Dave. You know it doesn't work. 

CBT including not shying away from stating our themes DOES work when we fully commit ourselves to trusting what we are told, and putting it into practice. 

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I would take anything that orwell1984 says with a pinch of salt, I don’t use OCD action anymore as it’s nothing but a reassurance fest in there 99% of the time and I contacted the mods several times about him because he doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about and tends to do more damage than good most of the time, and he also berates OCD uk on there as well! 

Just realised there’s someone on this site also called Orwell1984 and I am pretty confident they are NOT the same person so apologies for any confusion caused! 

Edited by Wonderer

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23 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

I would take anything that orwell1984 says with a pinch of salt, I don’t use OCD action anymore as it’s nothing but a reassurance fest in there 99% of the time and I contacted the mods several times about him because he doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about and tends to do more damage than good most of the time, and he also berates OCD uk on there as well! 

I think it worth pointing out, that this is a different Orwell1984 to the current user on the OCD-UK forum. The one on the other website did used to be a user on here under that same name, but I think possibly goes under a different guise on here and occasionally makes an appearance.  

Edit, I see Wonderer has edited her post since posting this.

Edited by felix4

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I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate but so what if you were gay? What would it really matter in the scheme of things? It wouldn’t make you anything different as a person. You’d still be the same great person that your friends and family like. And if that changes, which these days, is highly unlikely but if it did, then they aren’t that great of people. 

That being said, you have to remember that with OCD, when you have something like this, your mind is going to be so much more narrow scoped because your anxiety is high and you’ll be looking for changes. So, for example, if you see a topless guy, your mind will be focused in to any groinal changes whatsoever. In reality, they might be completely minor but what does that really mean? You are allocating far more importance to them than they are worth. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure that with the anxiety you must feel when you are with a woman, it is probably unsurprising that you are finding interest difficult because you are in full blown analysis mode. 

Finally, and let’s be honest, male arousal is pretty straightforward. I mean a cool breeze can be enough to set some guys off some times. It is the way we are made and there are going to be times when you get aroused and you aren’t going to be clear why. Stop trying to always apply meaning to it and then ruminate over it. Ok, so you got an erection a few times seeing topless men. Not a big deal, friend. 

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8 hours ago, Dave321 said:

About 5 months ago I posted about this on OCD Action forum.  There is a poster there called Orwell 1984 and she/he said I am gay and need to get over it.  

I would like to point out that Orwell1984 on OCD Action is not me. I pointed this out last year. 

 

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13 hours ago, Dave321 said:

I notice there is very few hocd topics on this forum and wonder if its not taken seriously as an ocd theme.

Some people, especially when they first start learning about OCD tend to focus on "themes" of OCD.  Its understandable, when you are dealing with a problem you want to find information and ideas that match your problem as close as possible, the idea being you're more likely to find solutions that apply to you as well.  And so you get a proliferation of terms, "homosexual OCD", "relationship OCD", "pedophile OCD", "harm OCD", "pure-O" etc. Unfortunately there are a few of problems with this.  
First of all there is confusion.  Take HOCD for example.  What does it stand for?  Harm OCD?  Homosexual OCD?  Helicopter OCD?  
Second, it creates a false sense that OCD sufferers neatly fall in to specific categories.  OCD sufferers can experience anxiety related to any number of intrusive thoughts and there is no guarantee the problem will stay limited to a specific area.  Perhaps today you're fear is related to your sexuality, but next year it could be related to illness and health.
Third, it implies that these are different problems with different treatments and different solutions.

The simple reality is that OCD is OCD.  Each person's OCD experience is going to be different from another sufferers.  Maybe today you and I share a similar anxiety, but tomorrow we may go off in different directions.  The good news is that the same set of techniques for treating my OCD can be used for treating your OCD and someone else's OCD too.

So whats my point? My point is that ANY theme ANY thought that causes you anxiety is going to be taken seriously here.  But hopefully what you will understand is that the details of the theme are not particularly important, though of course they feel very important to you, and we all get that.  Instead what is important is coming to an understanding of what you need to do to begin/continue your recovery from OCD and get help and awareness on doing that.

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