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Guest Phil10

Becoming obsessed with thoughts - things getting worse (Merged Thread)

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2 hours ago, Phil10 said:

Yes these are the worries I have? 

These are the intrusive thoughts you are confessing and wondering about in the hope to get reassurance. All rumination which makes OCD worse.

Stop posting your obsessions Phil

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8 hours ago, Phil10 said:

Yes these are the worries I have? 

You have described your worries in great detail in this thread and others.  Doing so is a compulsion, as Orwell and others are pointing out.  It is not helping you to do this, in fact its helping make things worse.  If you want to get better you need to start taking actions to do so, and one of the most important is to start fighting back against your compulsions.  That includes these detailed ruminations about the specifics of your fears.  The contamination isn't real, no matter how much you describe it to us that won't change.  You need to ask yourself what you are going to do about your compulsions to get better.

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Guest Phil10

Yes the issue is I have usually been forced on one issue but past few days I have

*Had existance worries 

*Worries about long trains despite me doing them last week

*Contmintion worries from months ago

*Health anxiety like the sore stomach again 

*Wedding worries 

It seems I have these issues on a loop whilst I am less troubled by contamination I seem troubled by a mix of issues right now meaning I never feel relaxed? 

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That's what OCD does when it fights back. Keep doing exposures on the one issue you had started with.

And for the rest of the worries about wedding, health, existence,trains , put into practice the behaviour of ignoring the urge to analyse the thoughts. Ignore paying attention to the thoughts. Be determined to focus on whatever it is an OCD-free version of yourself would be doing if the thoughts didn't exist. The thoughts will still be there like a screaming crying brat in the background, but ignore the thoughts like you would ignore a bad tempered brat. This analogy works for me.

Your exposure focus is to work on the bin issue.

Your response prevention is to not analyse, the bin situations or any of the other topics.

Your response prevention is to not undo, or avoid, or replace, or decontaminate the items or areas you have an issue with.

Your OCD will add topics and flit andchange between topics, but the more you do exposure and response prevention ERP, the OCD will die down over time.

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1 hour ago, Orwell1984 said:

That's what OCD does when it fights back. Keep doing exposures on the one issue you had started with.

And for the rest of the worries about wedding, health, existence,trains , put into practice the behaviour of ignoring the urge to analyse the thoughts. Ignore paying attention to the thoughts. Be determined to focus on whatever it is an OCD-free version of yourself would be doing if the thoughts didn't exist. The thoughts will still be there like a screaming crying brat in the background, but ignore the thoughts like you would ignore a bad tempered brat. This analogy works for me.

Your exposure focus is to work on the bin issue.

Your response prevention is to not analyse, the bin situations or any of the other topics.

Your response prevention is to not undo, or avoid, or replace, or decontaminate the items or areas you have an issue with.

Your OCD will add topics and flit andchange between topics, but the more you do exposure and response prevention ERP, the OCD will die down over time.

Excellent and well presented Orwell 

:goodpost:

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Guest Phil10

My latest fear is needing a shower after the toilet again due to when toilet water comes up I fear my backside gets wet despite there’s being no evidence of it being wet.

Ive also had the urge to replace towels and do washing more than once I have gave in a few times but over all I have so far resisted it but the ocd and anxiety has come 

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On 02/03/2019 at 10:13, Phil10 said:

My latest fear is needing a shower after the toilet again due to when toilet water comes up I fear my backside gets wet despite there’s being no evidence of it being wet.

Ive also had the urge to replace towels and do washing more than once I have gave in a few times but over all I have so far resisted it but the ocd and anxiety has come 

This is a compulsive behavior Phil, you need to stop posting descriptions of each worry you get, it’s not helping you.

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Guest Phil10
On 03/03/2019 at 04:02, dksea said:

This is a compulsive behavior Phil, you need to stop posting descriptions of each worry you get, it’s not helping you.

Sadly I still keep getting the false thoughts it is about various things but all different it the previous thoughts. Generally I don’t respond to them but some nights I sit worrying about them for the evening 

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11 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

Sadly I still keep getting the false thoughts it is about various things but all different it the previous thoughts. Generally I don’t respond to them but some nights I sit worrying about them for the evening 

Phil try and keep up the not responding to them, as this - alongside some ERP worked alongside the cognitive understanding of why they are false - is the way to get better. 

Give them belief, carry out compulsions as a consequence of them, and all you do is make them stronger and more frequent :yes:

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Guest Phil10

I could maybe try another theripst to help me? Some people said I can take what I leaned before from the previous therapy whilst some people suggested more therapy so I am unsure what I should do? Or focus on self help given the therapy costs money. 

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Well if you follow the guidance from here you will be working the right homework and can go at your own pace. 

If you pay for private therapy the therapist will push you along at their pace but the process will likely be similar and, unless you do the work, it will be money poorly spent. 

You pays (or not pays) your money and you takes your choice. 

But why not spend just a small amount and become a member of OCD-UK? 

Edited by taurean

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On 05/03/2019 at 08:29, Phil10 said:

Sadly I still keep getting the false thoughts it is about various things

Yes, unfortunately this is not something that will just go away overnight. You will continue to have intrusive thoughts and feel anxiety from them for awhile.  In a sense you are un learning a bad habit (or bad habits) and that takes time.  Of course you want to feel better, and you'd rather it be now than later.  But OCD and OCD recovery don't work that way.  I wish it did, we all do.  It gets easier in time but starting out you just have to push through it, one day at a time.

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Guest Phil10

So I’ve noticed an improvement with the sore stomach but instead I have had thoughts of going mad and having thought so my whole house is dirty it’s like a vicious cycle when one thought goes the trap door opens and another set come in to replace it..

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Guest Phil10

Obviously I’m not in therapy right now so I feel the forum can be helpful for me. When my anxiety is at its worst I relay on anxiety chat rooms I’m lucky past few days my reliance on chat rooms has been less.

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Guest Phil10

I keep having awful intrusive thoughts that I ran round the house with the toilet Brush and plunger contaminating every area so I have to move house?

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And so how are you going to deal with that Phil? 

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3 hours ago, Phil10 said:

I keep having awful intrusive thoughts that I ran round the house with the toilet Brush and plunger contaminating every area so I have to move house?

What do you want us to say, Phil? I don't know how to respond to your never ending obsession diary.

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Guest Phil10

I’m not sure but it’s awful having thoughts that I ran round the house with a toilet brush the thoughts seem real and I fear I will want to move house again.

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Guest Phil10

I also get similar thoughts that I have blocked toilets in hotels and they are contaminated even though I have only ever blocked a couple. I have these intrusive thoughts about everything that everything is on some way dirty and ruined 

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Come on Phil, you must know by now how you need to treat these thoughts. 

We can't keep going over it. You have to act upon what you have been told, and stop believing intrusions. 

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You need to be able to allow the horrible feelings of anxiety and whatever manifestation of thought or sensation to be there without trying to resolve them.

The worries will continue to bounce from topic to topic and if you continue to respond to each worry, ALL the worries will become more frequent and feel more believeable and disturbing.

I think you need to print these two points out and leave copies in trigger places as reminders.

 

Edited by Orwell1984

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39 minutes ago, Orwell1984 said:

You need to be able to allow the horrible feelings of anxiety and whatever manifestation of thought or sensation to be there without trying to resolve them.

The worries will continue to bounce from topic to topic and if you continue to respond to each worry, ALL the worries will become more frequent and feel more believeable and disturbing.

I think you need to print these two points out and leave copies in trigger places as reminders.

 

Well said Orwell :thumbup:

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Guest Phil10

Lately historic things have been troubling me stuff that happened in the past for example 

My mum touched an empty toilet roll tube and never washed her hands and walked out the house so again I worry the door is harbering germs

Another example is some ladders. The feet would touch the floor in my old house in the bathroom. That floor I use to come out the shower with my ocd and wipe my backside and I worried bits of toilet paper hit the floor usually so that was why I had a massive fear of dirty laundry and that was partly why I moved house so basically I worry old trainers, bathroom scales and ladders are contaminated now.

Then I still have this thing where if I haven’t useful the item in a few months I have false stories and thoughts about that.

So basically the issue here is my old is like a convayer belt moving from issue to issue, finding new issues why would I not worry about this a year ago when I first moved home? I now fear moving home that becuase I carried my belongings that stuff is ruined, I already have crazy thoughts that I ran round the house with a toilet brush. But basically that issue I had with the bathroom and that dirty laundry those wet towels which maybe had toilet paper fragments on them I treated that germ like the same contamination from radiation or something awful I believed if I touched it stuff would need disposed off. So yes I’m past few weeks I have worried about the shirts being dirty to historical things which I have now decided to worry about?

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But what are you doing about it, beside the Diary of Phil, which you just made another installment in? Every day, teo or three times, you tell us what your latest obsessions are. Yeah, so? You have obsessions. Welcome to the club. Writing them out here so frequently does you absolutely no good. None. So why do it?

 

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Guest Phil10

Perhaps I am going to have to accept these feelings that stuff is dirty if I buy an item I may fear it’s dirty I may have no choice but to wear it or end up in a hopeless position never feeling perfection?

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