Jump to content
Phil10

Becoming obsessed with thoughts - things getting worse (Merged Thread)

Recommended Posts

32 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

But what are you doing about it, beside the Diary of Phil, which you just made another installment in? Every day, teo or three times, you tell us what your latest obsessions are. Yeah, so? You have obsessions. Welcome to the club. Writing them out here so frequently does you absolutely no good. None. So why do it?

 

Well I post them to get some advice not as a diary I post them to get help to stop me worrying. 

Share this post


Link to post

Phil, we've given you advice. Lots of it. You just keep coming back, telling us your latest obsession. It's not working! What you are doing is not working. 

It is a rare thing when you tell us you are taking the advice we give. For every one of your posts the advice is the same... don't do compulsions. There's more you need to do but that's the big one.

Edited by PolarBear

Share this post


Link to post
11 hours ago, Phil10 said:

Well I post them to get some advice not as a diary I post them to get help to stop me worrying. 

The thing is you aren't going to get different advice on how to stop worrying.  Regardless of what your anxiety of the day or moment is, the path to overcoming it is virtually the same.  As PB says, we've told you how you can overcome this, but you keep responding with how you can't/won't/etc.  We tell you you need to engage in ERP and do things like touching a trash bin, but you tell us you can't do that.  We tell you to work with a CBT trained therapist, you tell us you have tried it but it didn't work, so you don't want to do it again (it likely didn't work because you seem unwilling to actually DO the work). 

If you want to stop worrying, you need to cut out the compulsions and one of your biggest compulsions is posting about your latest anxiety on a nearly daily basis.  Thats not healthy or helpful to you.  Its reasonable and helpful to seek out advice and support occasionally on this forum.  Just like its reasonable and helpful to wash your hands on the right occasions.  But compulsive posting is like compulsive hand washing, it is no longer healthy if you do it so often and without understanding the real purpose.  Your posts are no different from a person who washes their hands over and over.  They reply that they are just doing it to make sure they are clean, you reply that you are just doing it to try and get advice, but the reality is that neither thing is whats happening, you are, instead causing yourself damage, either through excessive washing or excessive posting.

I don't mean to suggest you should NEVER post or interact on the forum, its good to have a place to turn to both for support and for community.  But the degree you are posting isn't helping you.  You really need to consider limiting the degree to which you post, and as others have pointed out, stop treating this thread (and others) like a confession diary.  If you want advice thats number one.

Share this post


Link to post

My ocd thoughts have been worse latley

I made a mistake today as I took a towel and had a thought that it was dirty so I took another which isn’t good as I refuted the fact the towel was dirty in my head and worried all the towels are dirty.

Ive also had thoughts my wallet is dirty or some kitchen roll I use to dry my hands was dirty and I put my hand down a toilet. 

But yes my fear is I carried about the compulsion today changed the towel now I may fear for the towels? Just like I made the mistake with the iron. Basically I never change my clothes now I use to get an urge to wear something else but resisted now as I end up feeling worse by changing my clothes. So I know I should have used the towel but too late now I could be on the worry cycle?

Share this post


Link to post
On 14/03/2019 at 04:26, dksea said:

If you want to stop worrying, you need to cut out the compulsions and one of your biggest compulsions is posting about your latest anxiety on a nearly daily basis.  Thats not healthy or helpful to you.  Its reasonable and helpful to seek out advice and support occasionally on this forum.  Just like its reasonable and helpful to wash your hands on the right occasions.  But compulsive posting is like compulsive hand washing, it is no longer healthy if you do it so often and without understanding the real purpose.  

This is what you need to work on Phil. 

The more you connect with intrusions, the more they will strengthen and proliferate. 

Share this post


Link to post

Phil, pick up the towel you worry about and rub it all over you, including your face. Then hang it up to be used again.

This is how you combat OCD.

Share this post


Link to post
5 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Phil, pick up the towel you worry about and rub it all over you, including your face. Then hang it up to be used again.

This is how you combat OCD.

Yes I seem to be hit with so many thoughts right now from health anxiety to contamination to existance. Things had got a bit better but lately it’s been bad again. I admit when things got better I was using more relaxation exercises and have got lazy with things again and the ocd seems to creep back up. 

My head seems to treat these ocd thoughts as real memories that’s the issue. 

I have a thought which pops up, then I picture it and imagine it and my head says maybe that actually happened it can be so convincing becuase I can fully imagine the event happening in my head then I imagine how dirty the area or whatever the item I believe is contaminated then I worry about it and worry it actually happened. So how can I break that pattern of thinking? 

Share this post


Link to post
54 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

So how can I break that pattern of thinking? 

You break it by paradoxically doing nothing to neutralise the thought. You have to stop your compulsions and it's only after you stop them that the thoughts go away. OCD works in a back to front way. The thoughts and beliefs will stop AFTER you change the behaviour.

I know you're not going to listen to this advice however. It's very frustrating to know that you're just going to keep doing what you're doing and getting more ill. It's one sure bet to have a crappy lead up to your wedding day.

Share this post


Link to post
6 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Phil, pick up the towel you worry about and rub it all over you, including your face. Then hang it up to be used again.

This is how you combat OCD.

This is the best thing you can do for yourself. You really need to bite the bullet Phil.

Share this post


Link to post

I’m still battling these thoughts 

The issue where I feel i ran round the house with a toilet brush. My hand washing is severe becuase I always think I put my hands down a toilet so I have to wash them.

I still avoid some shops as I fear dirty laundry germs when I changed clothes one day. I refuse to buy a watch or shoes from the shops I bought my old ones from in fear it’s the same item? Sounds crazy but those shoes I tossed months ago when dirty washing fell on it I won’t buy from that shop well I tell a lie I will buy trainers but not shoes. I have an ocd with going out shoes too I won’t store them at the front door as my head says “dirty washing could pass by them” so I have to store them upstairs and I know I will still worry. 

So what I’m saying I have these crippling routines the existance thoughts trouble me too. I don’t have as bad as urge to replace stuff but I do have an urge to throw stuff away for example a t shirt I wore I worried that when I did the toilet poo got on it so I want to dispose of it .

Each day I start the day with 5/6 worries by mid day I obviously need some more help with this. The crazy thing is how can the shoes be the same ones if I buy from that shop? 90% of my ocd makes no sense   It just feels crippling like my whole life is dictated and bossed by ocd? 

Share this post


Link to post

I am constantly having false thoughts about different items I own and believe they are touched by toilet brushes ect like I’m having these thoughts constant and they won’t go away?

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, Phil10 said:

I don’t have as bad as urge to replace stuff but I do have an urge to throw stuff away for example a t shirt I wore I worried that when I did the toilet poo got on it so I want to dispose of it .

This sums up your contamination issues Phil. 

Non-sufferers who experience such an intrusive thought would instantly dismiss it as "worthless nonsense" - your goal is to change your thinking and behavioural response so you can do that too. 

It can be done - I have done so with my own OCD themes. 

Share this post


Link to post
Just now, Phil10 said:

I am constantly having false thoughts about different items I own and believe they are touched by toilet brushes ect like I’m having these thoughts constant and they won’t go away?

They won't go away because your whole thinking and behavioural response surrounds giving belief to them. 

Remember, you can't MAKE OCD thoughts "go away", but they will of their own accord when you don't give belief to them, treat them as "just my silly obsession" and keep on practicing refocus. 

Share this post


Link to post
29 minutes ago, taurean said:

They won't go away because your whole thinking and behavioural response surrounds giving belief to them. 

Remember, you can't MAKE OCD thoughts "go away", but they will of their own accord when you don't give belief to them, treat them as "just my silly obsession" and keep on practicing refocus. 

That’s true I spend way to long over thinking these thoughts I try to blame it on the fact I have no control over my mind and thoughts. It’s very difficult to stop giving them belief I think that’s the hard bit saying “no the thought isn’t true”. It’s hard to let go of these beliefs it’s almost like a bad habit like smoking it’s hard to quit. 

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, Phil10 said:

I am constantly having false thoughts about different items I own and believe they are touched by toilet brushes ect like I’m having these thoughts constant and they won’t go away?

So long as you continue to engage in compulsions and avoid the work to tackle OCD these thoughts are almost certainly not going to go away, in fact they will probably continue to get worse.  If you want things to change then you need to start changing your behavior and responses.
As Taurean says, you can't MAKE these thoughts go away, at least not directly.  The thoughts will go away over time IF you stop feeding them by responding to them with compulsions like rumination and confession.  You can also help speed up the process through ERP.  The goal is not to make the thought go away so much as to make yourself no longer CARE about whether the thought goes away or not.  The way to beat this is the same as it has been since your first post.

Share this post


Link to post

Exactly Dksea.

Our default thinking and behavioural response - aka doing what you do Phil - is actually perpetuating the problem, not bringing about the solution. 

A process of just accepting the thoughts "being there", seeing them for what they are - just OCD intrusions designed to upset then catastrophise - then refocusing away will get you started. 

Soon you will just be noting, then straight away refocusing without any more thought, and that will be spot on. 

Think of the thoughts as a bully. Bullies acquire more power as the subject of the bully yields to them. 

But when the victim stands up to them, refuses to listen to their taunts, toughens up, then the bully's power begins to fade. 

This is your - very important - homework Phil. Working in tandem - a truly international effort, thanks to the 30-year-old world wide Web - we can tell you what to do and how to do it. 

But we can't do it for you. You have to do the work. 

Stick at it, treating any setbacks as just "blips", and you will - in due course - approach the "gain line"; the line between losing, and starting to win. 

Cross over that gain line, and the power of the OCD will fall as your resilience builds. 

That is truly one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. 

Share this post


Link to post

One of my issue is shoes I keep thinking they have touched the toilet brush but I think the whole house has. It happened with work shoes so in the end I wore them. Tonight I got new shoes and before taking them upstairs I had the same thought. Good news is I am not replacing however I can’t seem to stop the anxiety and thoughts the shoes are dirty when I wear them I guess there is not much I can do about that?

Share this post


Link to post
57 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

One of my issue is shoes I keep thinking they have touched the toilet brush but I think the whole house has. It happened with work shoes so in the end I wore them. Tonight I got new shoes and before taking them upstairs I had the same thought. Good news is I am not replacing however I can’t seem to stop the anxiety and thoughts the shoes are dirty when I wear them I guess there is not much I can do about that?

Phil, you are doing the same thing as always, simply posting your latest intrusive thought.  That is not helping, its a compulsion, you need to stop.

Share this post


Link to post

Yes there is. You can remind yourself it's OCD telling you this, and that you have no need to listen because it is exaggerated nonsense. 

Then you get yourself busily refocused. 

The more you work this process, the less power the false OCD core belief that they are contaminated will have. 

Just trying to ignore the thoughts, leave them be, won't do the trick on its own. 

Share this post


Link to post
19 hours ago, taurean said:

Yes there is. You can remind yourself it's OCD telling you this, and that you have no need to listen because it is exaggerated nonsense. 

Then you get yourself busily refocused. 

The more you work this process, the less power the false OCD core belief that they are contaminated will have. 

Just trying to ignore the thoughts, leave them be, won't do the trick on its own. 

Yes today I had more thought that toilet water went on me and my jeans were ruined and I believed these thoughts but eventually had to let go of the thoughts. My shoe worry well I had this worry about my work shoes and it never went away until I got a new pair when they were worn out. My fear is every time I wear a shoe I worry it’s dirty? I mean I guess the idea is not to replace the shoe but the problem is the thoughts can come and you can never feel the shoes are clean? I’m guessing there is no magic solution for this? 

Share this post


Link to post
40 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

My fear is every time I wear a shoe I worry it’s dirty? I mean I guess the idea is not to replace the shoe but the problem is the thoughts can come and you can never feel the shoes are clean? I’m guessing there is no magic solution for this? 

There is a solution and it is called CBT. 

We experience the intrusion, feel the urge to carry out the compulsion, but learn not to do so, and refocus our thoughts away elsewhere. 

Gradually, as they don't receive attention and belief, the intrusions fade in power and frequency. 

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, taurean said:

There is a solution and it is called CBT. 

We experience the intrusion, feel the urge to carry out the compulsion, but learn not to do so, and refocus our thoughts away elsewhere. 

Gradually, as they don't receive attention and belief, the intrusions fade in power and frequency. 

So I can get to a point where I think the shoes are infact clean after having these initial thoughts? 

Share this post


Link to post
50 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

So I can get to a point where I think the shoes are infact clean after having these initial thoughts? 

Yes, but that happens at the end of your repeated CBT exposure and response treatment. It is not an immediate reaction. The only way to achieve this outcome is to go through the discomfort and pain of ERP.

You have to realise that your current behaviour of posting your intrusive thoughts on various forum threads is the absolute opposite of the path you need to take to achieve your goal.

Every post you make the stronger your ocd becomes.

Share this post


Link to post

Actually, you can reach a point where you simply don't care.

Share this post


Link to post
6 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Actually, you can reach a point where you simply don't care.

:goodpost:

Share this post


Link to post
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...