Does this mean it's true?

[don't know]

I don't understand. Last week I was watching something where a sex scene came up which involved incest. I was uncomfortable and sort of freaked out in my head because I didn't know it was coming up. I ended up feeling turned on by it and now I'm confused. Does this mean I want to do these things? I keep on reading and trying to work out if I do or not. A lot of people worked themselves out by watching those kind of scenes and getting turned on by them so doesn't that mean me? I don't understand. It just seems like all these sexual themes that were OCD aren't and were just a cover up. 

[don't know]

I'm really panicking right now. I don't know what to do and this definitely isn't OCD. It can't be. No way is it like this! Can anyone relate at all? 

[Gemma7]

You felt turned on because of a sex scene that's not particularly unusual and it doesn't mean anything. 

31 minutes ago, don't know said:

this definitely isn't OCD.

How isn't it? You have no evidence to suggest it isn't OCD. 

[don't know]

Hi, 

I understand that it sounds silly when someone else says it to me. But it's just the context. I wouldn't want to do that in real life, it makes me feel uncomfortable. So why would I feel turned on by it? I don't know how that can be OCD.  

Its silly because I've been consumed by this one thing since last week to the point where I've avoided my family, and I'm falling behind on my work because I'm trying to work it out. 

Edited January 14, 2019 by don't know

[Gemma7]

You need to stop trying to work it out. 

7 minutes ago, don't know said:

So why would I feel turned on by it?

Because you are a human. It is not a reaction that can be controlled, trying to control something uncontrollable is the problem here not that it happened. 

[PolarBear]

You are going down the wrong path. You keep going over it. You keep trying to figure out whst it means. You keep coming here looking for reassurance. All compulsions and all guaranteed to keep you stuck in misery.

Do your best to let this go.

[don't know]

I'll try it's just difficult as I have nothing to back up that this isn't true. 

[dksea]

9 hours ago, don't know said:

I'll try it's just difficult as I have nothing to back up that this isn't true. 

Sure you do, you have multiple people telling you in multiple threads that the reactions you are having aren't anything remotely as bad or dangerous or scary or wrong as you are afraid they are.  You have multiple people (on multiple threads) letting you know that your behavior is completely par for the course for someone with OCD.  The problem isn't that you have "nothing to back it up", its that you are allowing the doubt that OCD causes you to feel to completely overwhelm everything else.  You are buying in to the myth of OCD. 

MYTH: If I don't feel absolutely certain about a situation, then the thing I fear must be true.
REALITY: Its impossible to be absolutely certain about ANYTHING and feeling doubt doesn't mean something isn't true.

If you keep demanding absolutely certainty you'll stay stuck forever.  If you accept that doubt is a part of life and for OCD sufferers more common than for non-OCD sufferers you can work to overcome it and get control back of your life.  We can offer advice and suggestions but only you can make the choice.

[paradoxer]

10 hours ago, don't know said:

I'll try it's just difficult as I have nothing to back up that this isn't true. 

OK, try this, concede the possibility  that it might be true, and that done, don't engage with the question. It'll pop up in your mind, but pay it know attention. 

[paradoxer]

40 minutes ago, dksea said:

If you accept that doubt is a part of life and for OCD sufferers more common than for non-OCD sufferers you can work to overcome it and get control back of your life.  

I'd say this is only partly true. OCD sufferers don't generally have problems with doubt ... any more than anyone else, it's only in relation to their obsessions. I say, this not gratuitously, but I think it's important to note. If sufferers remember that they have no problem with doubt, generally, it's a reminder that they can take that extra step forward, manage the same when it comes to their obsessions. 

[don't know]

I woke up and felt fine. I then decided to think about something that would usually turn me on and then I literally had to hold myself back from throwing up. Like what? I don't understand, that can't be OCD. I was literally fine last week and now it's suddenly changed. I must be what my mind is telling me.

Its all coming back and I can't deal with it all again! 

Edited January 15, 2019 by don't know

[PolarBear]

You decided you would think of something that would turn you on... Why? What was the purpose of doing that?

I suspect you wanted to check your reaction. Checking is a compulsion. Some people call it testing.

So you did a compulsion and it didn't work out. What can you learn from that?

[paradoxer]

5 hours ago, PolarBear said:

You decided you would think of something that would turn you on... Why? What was the purpose of doing that?

I suspect you wanted to check your reaction. Checking is a compulsion. Some people call it testing.

So you did a compulsion and it didn't work out. What can you learn from that?

One of the most insidious. 

[dksea]

15 hours ago, don't know said:

that can't be OCD. I was literally fine last week and now it's suddenly changed. I must be what my mind is telling me.

Why can't it be OCD?  
Because you were ok last week and things suddenly got worse?  Yeah, trust me, that can be how OCD starts.
As for being what your mind is telling you, that assumes you are understanding correctly what its saying AND that its telling the truth.  If your mind told you you were the Queen of England, that wouldn't make you the Queen of England.

[don't know]

Like that's the thing how do I know it's not telling me the truth and I'm ignoring it and pretending it's ocd? 

[PolarBear]

You keep asking that same question. Over and over again. You've been told many times it's OCD but you come right back with the same thing. How's that working for you?

We will not keep going around and around with you forever. You've been told what to do. It's up to you to choose to do it or stay stuck where you are.

[don't know]

It doesn't matter anyway, I was probably so far in denial that I didnt even know. My stomach feels lighter so that must mean that all of this was true. I had a few months where I was fine meaning that I knew all those thoughts weren't me. I felt normal and actually felt like I was living my life without this thing at the back of my mind. I don't even know if that was real or if I had just convinced myself. I can't feel normal anymore; I feel like everybody sees me as this type of person. I don't even know if I'm that type of person. 

Also my mind is now silent and there's no anxiety. That means it's not ocd. 

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time.

Edited January 16, 2019 by don't know

[dksea]

4 hours ago, don't know said:

It doesn't matter anyway, I was probably so far in denial that I didnt even know. My stomach feels lighter so that must mean that all of this was true.

This is faulty thinking and not at all logical.  It's like saying "yesterday it was sunny, then I ate a cupcake, and today it was rainy, that means eating cupcakes make it rain"

 

4 hours ago, don't know said:

Also my mind is now silent and there's no anxiety. That means it's not ocd. 

Again, no, thats not what it means at all.  You are not drawing logical conclusions.  People with OCD don't feel constant anxiety.  Its not a requirement of OCD to feel constant anxiety, anymore than its a requirement of asthma to constantly have  a hard time breathing.  Or someone with migraines to always have headaches.  Or someone with diabetes to always have low blood sugar, etc. etc.

You are making up rules and declaring things to be true or false based on those made up rules.  Thats not how it works. 

If you want to get better we can offer you support and advice and help you on that path.  If you want to keep suffering you can continue to ignore the advice you are given and make declarative statements that have no basis in reality.  The choice, of course, is up to you, but I think you'll find your way doesn't result in a good outcome.

[PolarBear]

4 hours ago, don't know said:

It doesn't matter anyway, I was probably so far in denial that I didnt even know. My stomach feels lighter so that must mean that all of this was true. I had a few months where I was fine meaning that I knew all those thoughts weren't me. I felt normal and actually felt like I was living my life without this thing at the back of my mind. I don't even know if that was real or if I had just convinced myself. I can't feel normal anymore; I feel like everybody sees me as this type of person. I don't even know if I'm that type of person. 

Also my mind is now silent and there's no anxiety. That means it's not ocd. 

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time.

When you are done with the histrionics, we'll be here, if you want to listen and are willing to change your ways.

[don't know]

I know I sound stupid